Mute
by chocolate-colombo
Summary: All it took was one night. One horrible car accident that changed Logan's life. One horrible accident that almost ended Big Time Rush.
1. That Night

**Here's the Logan story I've wanted to do! Just something my brain vomited because I'm tired but I can't sleep. **

**Ugh...another short first chapter. I promise that I'll work on those.  
**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Kendall, James, and Carlos will never forget it. The day they were coming home from a party thrown by Dak Zevon.

It was a good day. The four boys of Big Time Rush were quickly building up their reputation. When Dak heard that the boys were back from their world tour, he quickly invited them over to his mansion, making sure that all his guests gave them the star treatment.

They didn't talk much, but Dak respected them, and they respected Dak.

So here they were. In Dak's mansion, living the good life, and getting their star treatment.

"Hi," James said smoothly to three blondes. "I'm James." He flashed a smile at them, and James could swear that one of the girls was about to faint.

As much as Logan loved the fact that several girls were head over heels for him, it just didn't feel right. He and Camille had finally gotten back together and she wasn't at this party. He didn't want to do anything to mess that up.

Kendall came up behind Logan and put a hand on his shorter friend's back. "Relax," Kendall said to him. The combined action of Kendall speaking and putting his hand on Logan's back made Logan jump. "Camille won't be mad at you if you talk to some girls."

Logan rolled his eyes, mad that Kendall came up with that assumption so quickly. "I'll have you know, that I'm not avoiding girls because I'm afraid of what Camille would do," he corrected his blonde friend. "I'm just not talking to any of them because...well because it wouldn't feel right."

Kendall shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy," he finally said.

"It does, thank you very much," Logan said pridefully. He was going to enjoy this party...he just didn't want girls to flirt with him.

"Just make sure you try and have fun," Kendall said before grabbing some punch.

Carlos on the other hand, did the very opposite of keeping a low profile. He chatted with every girl available. Unsuccessfully receiving their numbers, but at least they were willing to talk to him.

When the party ended, everyone was sad, of course. Dak Zevon was always known for his amazing parties. People had so much fun, they never paid attention to the time and they never wanted to leave his place.

Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos were just as sad as everybody else. But they knew one important thing: Their popularity had increased once again.

Kendall took the wheel of the car, seeing as how James and Carlos were too excited to think about anything else besides the awesome party they had just left, and Logan was texting Camille.

Logan accidentally kicked the back of Kendall's seat in excitement. Kendall rolled his eyes, not even wanting to try and guess what Camille had just texted Logan.

It started raining a few minutes into the drive home. Kendall decreased his speed, just in case the weather were to worsen.

"Can you believe the chocolate fountain Dak had?" Carlos asked in amazement. "I didn't think they came that big! It was like Niger Falls!"

"Niagara Falls," Logan quickly corrected. He rolled his eyes, seeing as how Carlos always got the name of that waterfall wrong.

"Oh yeah," Carlos replied with a smile.

"Don't forget the hot girls!" James reminded Carlos, who had fallen head over heels for at least six of the girls there.

Logan scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Did any of you guys see WayneWayne?" Kendall asked. "Even _he _was being nice to us."

Carlos smiled, even though he knew Kendall couldn't see him. "That's because you've beat him once, and you can beat him again. I think that's something he'll remember for a long time the next time he wants to mess with us."

James exhaled loudly from the front passenger seat. Now that the party was over and the excitement was gone, he was exhausted.

Kendall looked into his rear view mirror, noticing a car swerving funny on the road.

Logan noticed it too, it wasn't hard to spot. "Kendall," he said in a low, warning voice. He knew Kendall was a good driver, but even the best drivers are subject to horrible accidents because someone else decided to be stupid.

"I see it," Kendall replied, already knowing that he and Logan were thinking the same thing. He wanted to pull over to the right or turn into another street, just in case the person behind them was drunk. But he couldn't. They were on a highway, and though it wasn't busy due to the time, Kendall still wouldn't be able to have an escape path soon.

Logan saw the person try to change lanes, and his heart rate began increasing. "Kendall," he warned again.

Kendall felt his phone ringing in his pocket. It was probably his mother, but he didn't want to answer right now. He couldn't afford to be distracted while he was driving this close to a could-be drunk.

Kendall didn't know what to do...so he sped up.

But sadly, so did the other car.

In an attempt to change lanes once again, the other car hit the left side of the Big Time Rush mobile, and the only things heard were the sounds of crunching metal and four teenage boys screaming.

* * *

**Yay! Here's the first chapter! Didja like that? I hope you did...**

**I totally hate it when people say "Niger Falls" or "Nigeria Falls"  
**


	2. Is Everyone Okay?

**Let me start by saying thank you for all the reviews for chapter one, as well as the alerts and favorites this story received. It all just made me smile :D (especially knowing that you guys agree with the whole "Niagara Falls" thing)**

**Enjoy! XD**

* * *

The Big Time Rush mobile was flipped onto its right side. That's the first thing Carlos noticed when he woke up. The second thing Carlos noticed was the intense pain coming from his right shoulder.

The next thing he noticed. Glass was everywhere.

"G-guys?" he whispered, hoping that someone would answer him.

But no answer. Maybe his friends didn't hear him. "J-James? Kendall? Logan?" Carlos asked, a little bit louder than a whisper this time.

But still nothing.

And that's when he noticed the last thing. His friends were unconscious. At least, he was hoping that they were just unconscious and nothing more.

He shifted a little, but regretted that action as he hissed in pain in response to what felt like millions of daggers stabbing Carlos' shoulder. He whimpered a bit, but stopped when he heard a noise.

"James?" Carlos asked when he heard a familiar noise coming from the seat in front of him. "James are you awake?"

"Carlos?" James groaned. That's good. Carlos could at least confirm that James was not only alive, but was also awake. "Carlos are you okay?"

Carlos nodded, but stopped when he realized that his brunette friend wouldn't be able to see him. "Y-yeah...just a hurt shoulder, I think. You?"

"Same," James answered, pain evident in his voice. "And...and I think I'm bleeding..."

Carlos' eyes widened. "H-how much? Where? Are you-"

"Carlos," James' voice stopped the Latino from continuing. James sighed as he continued speaking. "It's nothing bad. G-glass cut my face...and arms. But I'm okay. I swear. What about Kendall and Logan..."

"Logan hasn't woken up yet," Carlos said, his voice laced with nothing but fear at the sight of blood dripping from Logan's body. "Kendall hasn't either, has he?"

James slowly moved his neck, careful not to hurt himself more than he already had, and looked at Kendall's unconscious form. "N-no," James finally answered. He continued looking at Kendall, trying to see if his blonde friend had any serious injuries. "I-I think he hit his head..." he told Carlos. "H-he's bleeding."

Carlos was silent, which worried James. He was afraid that his shorter friend had gone unconscious. "Carlos?" James called out with a shaky voice.

There was still silence, causing James to panic, until he heard a sob.

"Carlos?" James asked. "What's wrong, buddy?"

Carlos sucked in a deep breath. "L-Logan," he sobbed out.

James was telling himself not to freak out. Being scared could only scare Carlos even more. He had to at least pretend to be calm. He couldn't let Carlos become more afraid than he already was.

"What about Logan?" James asked. "What's wrong with him?" James was surprised that his voice didn't crack or waver. He was calm on the outside, but on the inside, he was already breaking down and he didn't even know what was wrong.

"I...I don't think he can breathe," Carlos choked out. It was so hard for him to say that sentence. Why can't Logan breathe?

James was about to ask what Carlos meant, but once the car was silent, he realized what the little guy was talking about. James wanted to slap himself. How did he not hear that before?

The sounds of Logan's loud wheezes filled the car. James could do nothing but be relieved that Logan was unconscious for that. His breathing sounded so painful. Logan was having difficulty doing something as easy and instinctive as breathing, and if he were awake, Logan would be freaking out.

James listened as Logan painfully sucked in breaths. He struggled to get his phone out of his pocket, but it was useless. James couldn't reach the phone in his pocket in the position he was in. "Carlos? Do you have your phone?"

"Yeah," Carlos answered as he reached for the right front pocket of his jeans. He hissed in pain, holding back a cry as he felt his entire right arm flare up. He whimpered as his arm throbbed, the worst amount of pain coming from his shoulder.

James winced at Carlos' pain. "Never mind, Carlos," he said, not wanting Carlos to hurt himself again. "I'll see if Kendall has his phone near by."

James used his left hand and reached into Kendall's pocket. He wanted to jump for joy when he felt the piece of plastic. He quickly pulled out the phone, ignoring the "Missed Call" notice flashing on the phone, and dialed 911. "Carlos," James said as he dialed. "Check what else might be wrong with Logan."

Carlos quickly obeyed. He reached out his left hand to touch Logan, but stopped midway. He didn't know what to do, or even what to look for. The only person that knew how to do that was Logan. Carlos gasped as realization hit him. He couldn't help Logan.

Carlos' mind was racing as he heard James speaking frantically on the phone. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do," Carlos kept chanting to himself. The only thing he could think of doing was reaching his hand out and holding one of Logan's. One of Logan's limp, cold hands. "It's gonna be okay, Logie," he whispered to his unconscious friend.

James got off the phone and looked towards Kendall's direction. "I think Kendall's waking up," James announced when he saw Kendall's fingers twitch. "Kendall," James urged. "C'mon. Wake up."

Those few seconds felt like hours as Kendall eventually obeyed. His eyelids slowly split open, revealing a dazed look in his eyes.

"You with us, buddy?" James asked, noticing Kendall's eyes darting around the car.

"Wh-what...? Where...?" Kendall tried to ask, but complete sentences couldn't be formed right now.

"We were in an accident," James answered. "Try not to move yourself too much because you might have a concussion and who knows what else." James figured it wouldn't hurt to play leader right now, seeing how their leader was hurt much worse than he was.

"I-is everyone...okay?" Kendall asked. James wanted to roll his eyes. Leave it to Kendall to ask about everyone's well-being after waking up with a possible concussion.

"James and I are okay," Carlos answered. Okay on the outside...

Kendall's eyes widened. "Logan. What about Logan?"

"He hasn't woken up yet," James answered quickly. "But he's alive." He's alive. He's alive. He's alive...but looks so dead...

Kendall visibly relaxed at the statement. "I-I tried to avoid him...I-I'm sorry..."

"I know," James said, knowing that Kendall was talking about the driver that hit them. "It's not your fault." James was extremely angry at Kendall's statement. Was he mad at the driver of the other car, or was he mad at Kendall for blaming himself? James wasn't too sure. He was probably mad at both.

"My head hurts," Kendall complained. "Am...am I bleeding?"

"Yeah," James answered truthfully. "I already called an ambulance. We'll get to the hospital soon."

Kendall groaned in pain. He just wanted to go away. Away from here. He and his best friends should be at home, chilling around on the orange couch, not waiting for help in a car that they most likely won't be ever able to drive again.

James noticed the blonde's discomfort. "I know it hurts Kendall, but just hold on," James said in the nicest way possible. "Everything will be okay."

For his friends' sakes he prayed everything would be okay.

James sighed. "Carlos. You and Logan still okay?"

"I'm fine," Carlos answered. "Logan's the same. Is he gonna wake up soon?"

"Yeah," James answered. "Don't worry. Logan will be just fine."

"Kendall," Carlos said as he noticed the blonde's head bobbing to the side.

James gently tapped Kendall, who was falling asleep. "Not yet, Kendall," James commanded. "Stay awake. You know you can't sleep with a concussion."

Kendall nodded. "S'rry," he slurred.

James heard a strangled gasp, and quickly assumed that it was Carlos. But when he heard Carlos quietly say something, James realized that wasn't the case.

"Logan!" Carlos cried out, forgetting Kendall's head injury. The blonde jumped as the increase of volume made his head throb in pain.

Logan's eyes slowly opened. He wasn't moving, but just seeing that Logan was awake made Carlos a little happy.

That is, until Logan's right hand pulled itself away from Carlos' grasp and clutched his chest in pain, desperately trying to inhale sweet oxygen. Logan's eyes widened as he was hit with shortness of breath. It just felt so uncomfortable.

"Logan!" Carlos cried out, this time allowing tears to fall from his eyes. "It's okay Logan. Just try and calm down. Please?"

But nothing. Logan continued his desperate struggle to breathe.

James sighed in frustration. His three best friends were hurt and he couldn't do anything. He slowly turned around, ignoring the pain, to face his two friends in the backseat. "Logan. Look at me," James commanded. Logan wasn't looking at him. Logan wasn't really looking at anything. His glazed eyes stared right past James.

"Wh-why is he like that?" James heard Kendall ask weakly.

Logan's grip on his chest loosened before he fell unconscious again.

James stared at his pale friend. Logan had always been pale, which James would occasionally make fun of him for. No amount of sunlight could give him even the slightest tan. But now, Logan's paleness could make anyone sick.

"Logan!" Carlos yelled at his very still friend. He could still hear Logan's wheezes, and Carlos knew that was a good thing, because at least Logan was still breathing. But he also knew it was a bad thing, because he knew that it was becoming harder for Logan to breathe and if they didn't get help soon...Logan might stop breathing.

"L-Log'n?" Kendall slurred as he asked for his friend. His eyes drooped a little before he felt James smack him gently.

"Stay awake!" James commanded, being louder than he originally intended.

"But I'm tired," Kendall weakly complained. He shifted uncomfortably.

"I know," James responded. His voice was extremely gentle, a voice Kendall hadn't heard James use in a long time. "I know you are, but when we get to the hospital I promise that you can sleep as much as you want, okay?"

"Okay," Kendall responded, too tired to protest.

James wracked his brain for ideas to keep Kendall talking. "Wh-what else hurts, buddy?" he finally asked, not only to keep the blonde awake, but for James to also see if there was anything he could do to help Kendall.

Kendall took a while in responding. James figured it was because of the concussion. Kendall groaned. "M-my head..."

"I know you're head hurts," James patiently said to him. "Is there anything else?"

Kendall nodded, though it was hard for him to do that because of the position the flipped car had put them in. "I-I think I got cut..."

"On your head?" James asked.

"No," Kendall said quietly. "Arms...neck..."

"Okay," James breathed out. "Just hang on, okay? An ambulance will be here soon," he said with all optimism.

"Okay," Kendall muttered.

While James tried to keep Kendall awake, Carlos was trying to get Logan to wake up again. "Logie," Carlos said as he nudged Logan's shoulder. "Logie wake up. Please wake up. Everything will be okay, you just gotta wake up..."

But Logan wasn't ready to wake up.

Carlos could say that this had to be the scariest night of his life.

Loud sirens were accompanied by bright lights suddenly coming into view, and James quickly recognized the blue, red, and white lights as part of an ambulance.

"See Kendall," James said excitedly as he saw the ambulance come closer. "I told you help would come soon." James let out a humorless laugh.

But the only sound James heard was the sound of Carlos sniffling.

James' eyes widened as he looked to his blonde friend. "Kendall!"

* * *

**Well here it is! *nervous laugh* another cliffhanger. But admit it. It's not as bad as the first chapter, right? So now the question is: What's wrong with Logan? :O**

**Only I know *laughs evily***

**What do you think about this chapter?**


	3. Awake

**Computers are unreliable nowadays.**

**So I tried using that story book cover thing this website put up. Do you like this story's picture? I can't stop looking at it :P**

** One more thing! I wanted to say thank you again for all the positive feedback y'all gave this story. Some reviews made me smile, the rest made me laugh evily XD **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

James and Carlos, along with Jennifer and Katie, hovered over Kendall's sleeping form. They were relieved. Kendall suffered from a concussion and several cuts on his face, neck, arms, and back. He needed several stitches, but the point was, he's okay.

James couldn't help but think that out of all his friends, he got off easy. Other than his ribs being bruised and his face having a few cuts, he was fine.

Carlos didn't suffer too much either. He got a dislocated shoulder, which would keep him in a sling for a few weeks, and some cuts and bruises.

Both boys were discharged that night...or morning, under Jennifer Knight's care. They were told to take it easy, but how could they take it easy when their friends were in bad shape?

Katie laid a hand on James' arm. "James?" she asked when she noticed the sudden look of horror James wore on his face.

"When I was in that car, I seriously saw my life flash before my eyes," James confessed. He looked at Katie, who gave him a look urging him to continue. "I didn't think it was possible to think that fast but...I-I saw everything. Meeting Kendall and Carlos in Kindergarten. My first school play. Meeting Logan in the third grade when Kendall wanted to 'save the new kid' from bullies. Winning my first hockey championship. My parents' divorce. Moving to LA..." he trailed off as he felt his eyes watering.

He couldn't stop thinking about the accident. He remembered it so well. Every sound. Every scream. Everything. James knew that even after this whole thing settles, he'd have nightmares for the rest of his life.

Every time an image of Kendall or Logan showed up in his mind, James would feel a wave of nausea hit him.

"Me too," Carlos spoke up. "I saw my life too...but it was so hard to concentrate because all I could hear was...was our screams. I've never felt so scared in my life." He swallowed the lump in his throat, thinking about Kendall and Logan. "Th-they passed out and..." he trailed off.

James enveloped Carlos in a strong hug. "But they're gonna be okay," he whispered, praying that he wouldn't be wrong. James knew only one person who was never wrong. Someone who could tell the odds of something just by running quick numbers in his head.

But Logan wasn't with them.

James also knew of someone who could comfort Carlos...or anyone. This person always made it look so easy to make anyone feel better about any bad situation...

But Kendall wasn't awake yet.

Carlos sobbed. "Wh-why did this have to happen to us?" he asked, making James angry. "We weren't the ones who got drunk!"

James was seething. Why _did _something like this happen to them? The man that did this? He was a drunk driver, true to their suspicions. Why was it that he chose to be irresponsible last night, yet the only injury he received was a cut on his face and a nasty headache from his hangover?

It just wasn't fair.

"He's going to get punished for this," Jennifer angrily said, her eyes never leaving Kendall's hurt body. She couldn't get her mind past the fact that out of all people, her four sons had to be the ones to get hurt from something like this.

Jennifer knew that it could happen to anyone. She wasn't ignorant of that fact. She just always wished that it would never happen to any of her kids. She brought a hand to Kendall's face, brushing his hair away from his closed eyes.

"When is anyone gonna tell us about Logan?" James asked impatiently. It had been _hours _since they were all brought in and they haven't been told a thing.

Jennifer reluctantly brought her hand away from Kendall's face. "I'll go to the front and ask," she offered. She didn't want to leave Kendall, but she knew he was okay.

But she didn't know if Logan was.

Jennifer placed a kiss on Kendall's forehead before leaving the room.

"Logan's fine, right?" Carlos asked, trying to hide his worry by faking optimism. "I mean...h-he was still alive when the ambulance found us. A-and his breathing was probably being weird because Logan was in shock. Once Logan wakes up, he'll be all better, right?" He looked to James. "Right?"

James stayed silent, hoping that his watery eyes hadn't become too obvious. He wanted to have Carlos' attitude. He _needed _to have Carlos' attitude. But he couldn't get himself to.

That car mostly hit the back left side of the car. Logan's side. It was as if Logan had a huge target on himself that night, waiting for someone to make a bull's eye.

Katie wasn't paying attention to anything going on between James and Carlos. All she could focus on was Kendall as she held onto his limp hand. Where would he be if he hadn't seen the car on time? What if he hadn't sped up? Would he have been injured much worse?

...Would he have died?

She started crying, feeling guilty for letting those thoughts into her mind. She was very aware of James and Carlos putting their hands on her shoulders.

That's when her hand felt a weak squeeze.

"K-Kendall?" she asked, wiping away stray tears with her free hand. But she received no response. "Kendall, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand. Please!"

James, Carlos, and Katie waited anxiously before Kendall's hand moved again.

Kendall's eyes fluttered as he struggled to open them. A pair of dazed green eyes met three pairs of worried ones.

"K-Katie?" Kendall asked weakly. He looked at her with sad eyes when he noticed how red and puffy his little sister's eyes were. "Wh-why are you crying?"

Katie didn't answer. She just sobbed harder.

"B-because we were worried about you," James answered, speaking for everyone in the room, including Kendall's mother, who hadn't returned from finding news on Logan.

"My head hurts," Kendall complained, still a bit confused over everything that happened. "Were we in an accident?"

Hearing Kendall complain about his headache made James cringe. It made him think back to when they were trapped in the small marroon car, Kendall suffering because of his head injury, and James doing everything he could to comfort his blonde friend.

Carlos nodded furiously in response. "A-and you were hurt, Kendall? Don't you remember?"

Kendall shrugged. "Where's Mom?" he asked, hoping to get a simple answer for once.

"She went to find news on Logan," Katie answered. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

Kendall's eyes widened. "Is he okay? Was he hurt too?" Kendall felt like a huge jerk. How did he not notice that Logan wasn't in the room?

"We don't have any news on him," James answered, trying to remain as calm as possible. When he saw Kendall wearing a slight look of panic, James continued speaking. "He was fine when he was brought in," he said, which wasn't really a lie. Fine could mean anything besides "not dead", right?

"I-I was driving?" Kendall asked, his voice getting softer after each word.

Katie nodded, keeping her grip on his hand firm.

"W-was it my fault? I'm sorry, " Kendall asked. His voice revealed the sadness he felt. Were he and his friends hurt because of his carelessness?

"Kendall!" Carlos yelled. "This accident wan't your fault! You tried to save us!" Carlos wiped a tear that had somehow fallen from his eye. "Th-the man that hit us was drunk. It's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself," he pleaded. He wanted Kendall to know that no one blamed him for the accident. The boys had been friends long enough to know that if Kendall didn't understand that, he'd be hard on himself for the rest of his life.

Kendall swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. "A-are you sure?" he asked, his voice sounding much like a little kid's.

James nodded. "Yes," he answered simply. "You weren't doing anything wrong. You were going the speed limit. You were being really careful. But the other driver...There was no way you could have avoided him."

Kendall sighed, as if he couldn't believe anything his friends were telling him. "H-how bad was he hurt?" he finally asked, afraid that he would absolutely dread the answer.

"Kendall," Katie's voice rang out. "You shouldn't be worrying about this. You just woke up." She didn't know how hurt Logan was, but the way James and Carlos had been acting was enough to tell her that he was more injured than the three other boys combined.

"No Katie," Kendall responded. "I need to know." He looked at James and Carlos. "Please?"

James and Carlos looked at each other, worried glances on their faces.

Carlos could tell that James was about to speak, but he raised his hand, traffic cop style, in order to stop the tall brunette. "Kendall," Carlos sighed, feeling his eyes water. "L-Logan...Logan couldn't breathe. We don't know why, he just couldn't. I could tell that he was in so much pain... You were awake for that...but I guess you forgot."

"How long was I awake?" Kendall asked.

"A few mintues," James answered. "You and I rode in the same ambulance...You woke up on the ride to the hospital. You asked a few questions before passing out again."

"Like what?"

James scoffed, then let a small smile creep on his face. "Asking about all of us."

Kendall smiled a little also, but became serious when he realized something else. "Logan...D-did he ever wake up?" he asked, his eyes widened at the thought of Logan suffering so much.

Carlos nodded. "But not for long." Carlos exhaled deeply as a mental video of Logan waking up for those few seconds played in his head. "H-he was only awake for a few seconds before passing out again. He wouldn't wake up after that...a-and then you passed out and wouldn't wake up either." Carlos let the tears fall. "We...we just didn't think you two would wake up again..."

Kendall sighed. "I'm really sorry you guys."

"It wasn't your fault!" Katie reminded her older brother. "The other driver was drunk remember?"

"Yes," Kendall answered. "I remember. But...I'm sorry for scaring you guys like that."

"Again," James said as he patted Kendall's shoulder. "Not you're fault. We're just glad that you're okay." At this point, James was tired of Kendall's apologies.

"Why don't you get some rest, Kendall?" Katie suggested as she fluffed her brother's pillow.

Kendall shook his head, turning down his sister's offer. "Not until I find out what's going on with Logan. I just need to know that he's okay."

Katie sighed in defeat.

James, Carlos, and Katie decided to engage Kendall in lively conversation to distract the blonde from Logan, the car accident, and just everything in general.

The four of them were talking about Kendall's first day of freshman year, which he hated, when Mrs. Knight walked into the room a few minutes later. Tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were red.

Kendall didn't need a mirror to know that his face had paled several shades. Why would his mom being crying so much? The fact that he couldn't, or didn't want to, come up with an answer, really scared him.

"Mom?" Katie spoke up first. "Wh-what's wrong?" Katie had never seen her mother cry, so seeing her this way really scared her.

Jennifer put a hand to her mouth as she tried to get her sobs under control. "It's...it's Logan," she said before crying a little harder.

* * *

**I seriously CANNOT believe that ended this chapter with a cliffhanger. I know I'll annoy you guys a lot if I keep doing that. I'll try to give the next chapter a normal ending. :P**

**Wow this website looks SOOOOOOO different now O_O**

**I'm not quite sure how I feel about this chapter in general. But the next chapter, you WILL know what's going on with Logan!**


	4. Tears

**Guess what I did on July 4th...which was yesterday... O_o Anyway...I saw the new Spiderman movie! OMG that movie was amazing. I think I like Andrew Garfield more than Toby McGuire.**

**Wow...that had nothing to do with this story...Whatever**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Seeing Jennifer cry made several thoughts fly through the heads of Kendall, James, Carlos, and Katie.

The problem was...they didn't know what the right thought was. The happiest thought they could think of was that Mama Knight was crying tears of joy. Hearing that Logan was okay, despite all the panic that had been built up, made her extremely emotional.

The saddest thought in their minds was that Logan was already dead. That the last time they saw their friend alive was when he was happily texting Camille in the car.

Camille. His girlfriend. The girl Logan loved with all his heart. She'd never see him again either. She'd never be able to hold his hand, kiss him, slap him, cry to him when she needed support.

His parents would never see their smart son again. Logan's parents would have to bury their own child. No. Parents shouldn't be mourning the death of their son. It's supposed to be the other way around.

And Logan. Logan would never be able to do all the things he wanted to do. For the past two years, he has been debating whether he'll stay a musician or become a doctor. Now, he won't be given the opportunity to eventually make that choice.

His friends would never see his crooked smile again. They would never hear one of his "bleep blap bloop" moments. They would never hear their friend lecturing them on how they needed to be more careful.

It would just never be the same without Logan.

Kendall was the first to come out of his stupor, shaking those horrid thoughts out of his head before he demanded the truth. "What's wrong with Logan?" Kendall asked, his voice slightly increasing. He didn't mean to sound rude, especially since his mother seemed to be crying her eyes out, but he couldn't take her silence anymore.

Jennifer sucked in a breath as she tried to recap everything the doctor told her. She decided to start off gentle. "K-Kendall," she began in a soft voice. "You know that Logan received the most impact from the accident, right?"

Kendall nodded. He could probably speak for everyone else in the room when he said to himself that he already knew he wouldn't like where this was going.

"What happened to Logan?" James asked, hoping to encourage Jennifer to spill the news faster.

Jennifer sighed as she wiped stray tears from her eyes. "Logan...isn't looking too good right now," she finally said. "He has a fractured hip, which broke through his skin and caused him to bleed, a broken left arm and leg, and two broken ribs, and glass cut him in several places. H-he also has a crushed trachea."

"A...a crushed trachea?" Carlos repeated. "Th-that's why he couldn't breathe?" Carlos didn't always tune out during one of Logan's biology speeches. Thankfully, when Logan was explaining what a trachea was, Carlos was too bored to do anything else but listen.

Jennifer nodded. "Th-they want to prep him up for surgery."

"Then he should be fine after that, right?" James asked, waiting from a positive answer. His eyebrows perked up and his hazel eyes were practically glowing. Basically, he looked like a little kid waiting for an ice cream truck. The feeling a kid gets when they've anxiously waited an eternity for something sweet, and when they hear the sound of the truck coming their way, they feel revitalized.

Jennifer shook his head. This was the hardest part for her to hear, let alone say. The look on everyone's face made her want to crawl into a hole and not come out. "There's a 20 percent chance..." she trailed off in a whisper.

"O-of what?" Katie asked. She could feel herself shaking as she awaited Jennifer's dreadful answer.

"He has a 20 percent chance to live," Jennifer responded before beginning to cry again.

Kendall felt his chest tighten at that statement. He felt like an elephant was sitting on his chest, blocking his airway.

Hm. That must have been how Logan felt in the car. When he couldn't breathe and his friends couldn't help him.

"What?" Carlos breathed out. This was a lie. It had to be. Logan was too young to die. Too innocent to die. If there was one person who deserved to die it would be...

Carlos wouldn't let himself finish that thought. The man that put them in this situation was wrong for doing this, but Carlos couldn't wish death on anybody, no matter how much they seemed to deserve it. It just wasn't in his nature.

But it was definitely in Kendall's.

Logan couldn't die. Kendall would rather have several random people die than for Logan to die. He knew it sounded cruel, but that was just the truth.

Kendall didn't know what to think. The man that did this deserved jail time, which he was definitely getting.

But what was a better punishment? Death? Or jail?

To James, the room wouldn't stop spinning. Images blurred as he tried to process the fact that Logan had a 20 percent chance to live. That meant there was an 80 percent of Logan dying. Either way you flipped the numbers, it wasn't reassuring.

Whenever Katie was in a jam, whenever she had several issues she couldn't deal with, she'd run to Kendall. He was always the first person she went to.

But not today. It just wouldn't be right.

If anything, Kendall needed comfort from her instead of the other way around. The least she could do was return the favor and be by Kendall's side every step of the way. The way things were going now, if Kendall didn't have anyone to lean on, he'd fall apart.

She had to be the strong one this time. For all of them.

"W-we should see how he is after his surgery," Katie finally suggested. "The surgery is to fix everything wrong with him. Maybe after he's fixed up, his chances of survival will increase." Katie fought the tears ready to fall from her eyes.

Carlos nodded in agreement. "I agree with Katie," he announced.

Logan wouldn't die. He wouldn't leave his friends, knowing how much they really needed him.

"B-but there's more," Jennifer spoke up once again. Everyone's faces dropped. What more could there be? Someone must have asked that question out loud, because Jennifer answered right away. "The surgery they're giving Logan...they have to cut a hole in his neck, in order to fix his trachea."

So other than a nasty scar on his neck, Logan should be fine, right?

"I-if he gets it," Jennifer said. "And if he _does _survive the surgery... he...he might not be able to sing ever again."

* * *

Kendall couldn't remember the last time he cried this hard. So hard that he choked on every sob. So hard that every breath he took turned into a sharp gasp or a hyperventilation. So hard that his head began pounding as a headache began to form. So hard that his entire body shook violently. So hard that his eyes turned red as they burned mercilessly.

So hard that he felt like dying.

That's when it finally hit him. The last time he cried that hard was when his father died.

Kendall had been crying for Logan the same way he cried for his dead father.

Why would he cry like that if Logan was still alive?

He felt James big arms grab him and hold him tight. Kendall wanted to fight James and tell him to back off, but he couldn't get himself to do it.

Kendall was just too broken to do much of anything.

Jennifer grabbed Katie by the shoulder. "Let's give the boys some time alone, sweetie," the petite red head said to her daughter.

Carlos rubbed circles in Kendall's back. He could tell that the blonde was too distressed to listen to anything that anyone had to say, so Carlos figured that at this moment, silence was golden.

Kendall was just embarrassed. He didn't want to start crying in front of everybody, but once the floodgates slipped open, he couldn't stop, no matter how much he tried.

He just wanted to rewind. There must have been _something _he could have done different to save Logan.

James' shirt was completely saturated at this point. A combination of Kendall's sweat and tears had made their way onto James' chest, staining his silk shirt, not to mention the wrinkles Kendall was putting as he gripped James' shirt tight in his fists.

In other words, James' shirt was ruined, but that didn't bother him. He planned on throwing it away, anyway. He didn't want to wear that shirt as a memory of this accident.

James ran his fingers through Kendall's hair, hoping the blonde would calm down already and get some rest.

But after news like that, how could anyone calm down?

Carlos watched the exchange going on between his two taller friends. Kendall breaking down the way he did really frightened Carlos.

James was the brave soul to finally break the silence. "It'll be fine, Kendall," James whispered into Kendall's ear. "Just breathe, okay?"

Kendall continued sobbing, unable to control the whirlpool of emotions spinning around inside him.

Kendall tried obeying James. He tried taking deep breaths in hopes of calming down, but his body wouldn't let him. He felt powerless. Completely powerless.

Carlos waited anxiously for Kendall to calm down, but by the looks of it, Kendall wasn't ready yet.

Instead of calm breaths, Kendall was hyperventilating.

"K-Kendall," Carlos said in a small voice. "Please calm down. Everything will be fine, okay?" He didn't want to have a doctor come in here and forcefully sedate Kendall, but if the blonde cried any harder, Carlos felt that a doctor would be necessary.

At first, Kendall didn't say anything. But eventually, Kendall sniffled a bit before softly saying a name. "Logan..."

"Will be fine!" James reassured.

Kendall hiccuped a few times before speaking up. "He may never sing again. Or worse. H-he could...he could d-die."

"No he won't," James responded. He squeezed Kendall harder. "Logan's gonna be fine."

"It's my fault," Kendall muttered. His voice was so low that his two friends had to strain their ears to hear what the distressed boy said. "I know I could have done more."

James couldn't believe Kendall. "You did everything you could, buddy."

Kendall's body seemed to relax more after hearing the word "buddy" come out of James' mouth, but it wasn't enough to convince him. "Do...do you guys hate me?" Kendall asked, exhaustion evident in his voice.

James held Kendall tighter. "Kendall," James said, his voice deep with authority. "For the last time, this accident wasn't your fault. And we would never hate you. Logan wouldn't hate you either. We love you and we're not mad at you for this. There wasn't anything you could have done to save us, don't you see that? I'm not gonna let you take the blame for this because you don't deserve it! You-"

"James," Carlos' voice stopped the brunette from continuing. James looked to Carlos to see what was wrong. Instead of speaking, Carlos pointed to the bundle in James' arms.

Kendall had finally fallen asleep.

James saw this sight, happy that Kendall had exhausted himself to the point of slumber. "It's not your fault," James repeated his former words in a whisper. "And we don't hate you."

James continued holding onto Kendall, debating on whether he should continue holding on, or if he should lay Kendall back onto his bed.

When James realized that he too was becoming sleepy, he decided on the latter. He gently laid Kendall down, making sure he was in comfortable position, before getting comfortable in his own chair and attempting to head to sleep.

James glanced at Kendall's tear stained, yet peaceful face, before turning to his helmet loving friend. "Carlos," he said. "Get some sleep, will ya?"

Carlos wordlessly nodded before curling up in his chair and closing his eyes.

* * *

**Yay! No cliffhanger!**

**So, my thoughts about Bel Air Rush...I loved how they made reference to Fresh Prince of Bel Air! (You know, the lil rap they did in front of a graffiti wall. Alfonzo Ribiero making his appearances. It all just made me happy)**

**Anyway, how'd you like this chapter?**


	5. We're Moving Up

**Yay! This chapter's finally done! It was so hard to write :P I hope you guys like it more than I do XD**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

James was the first to wake up in the apartment. Okay, that was a lie because technically, he never even went to sleep.

James spent most of his night worrying about his best friends. He couldn't help himself from constantly checking on Carlos, making sure his helmet and blanket were securely with the Latino so he wouldn't get scared during the night. He regularly made trips to Kendall's room, making sure the blonde wasn't plagued with any nightmares of the accident.

When he wasn't checking up on those two, he'd lay in bed and think about Logan. Logan almost died, and that's a thought James couldn't erase from his head.

Between Carlos' possible fright, Kendall's guilt, Logan's unsure condition, and James' constant worry, he just couldn't allow his body to shut down and receive the sleep it desperately needed.

James crawled out of bed and slowly started making his way to Carlos' bed, thinking about the first night they spent at the hospital.

It had been a week. A week since the accident. A week since they learned about Logan's condition and the emergency surgery. A week since Kendall's breakdown.

And Logan still hadn't woken up yet.

"Carlos," James said in a soft voice once he made it to the other side of the room. He started gently nudging Carlos' shoulder.

"Hm?" Carlos hummed, still sleepy. His half lidded eyes struggled to focus on James.

James let a tired smile graze his face. "Hey buddy," he said. "It's time to wake up, okay? We gotta go see Logan."

Carlos seemed to become more alert after that. His eyes widened as he jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom to take a shower.

James made his way to Kendall's room, ready to wake up the blonde as well.

As soon as he saw Kendall, something told James that he should let the blonde sleep all day. Kendall hadn't been acting himself at all this week. James was pretty sure that the only reason why the blonde slept so soundly this past night was because in an effort to cheer up Kendall, Carlos dragged the blonde to every crazy activity the Latino had up his sleeve, inadvertently exhausting the both of them.

James finally sighed. If he didn't wake up Kendall, there would only be arguments later, and the last thing any one of the boys needed was more stress.

He sat on the edge of Kendall's bed, nudging his shoulder like he did to Carlos. "Hey Kendall," James said. "Wake up. We're seeing Logan again."

James noticed how long it took for Kendall to finally open his eyes. Kendall's tired eyes stared at James in a dazed fashion. "Wh-what?" Kendall finally asked in a manner that made him sound delirious.

"We're gonna see Logan," James answered, not hiding the worry he always felt for the blonde since the accident. "Your mom's at work and Katie is at another commercial shoot so it's just us today...Are you feeling okay?"

Kendall slowly sat up. He quickly nodded in response to James' question. "J-just a little tired," he confessed.

James started rubbing Kendall's back. "Well...do you want to stay home th-"

"No," Kendall answered in a strong voice, cutting off James insane suggestion. "I'll be fine." _I've already betrayed Logan once for putting him in the hospital in the first place. I'm not going to betray him again by not showing up. _

James slowly nodded. "Okay...just...just take it easy, okay?"

Kendall, being extremely happy that James couldn't read his mind, simply nodded, his facial expression showing James that the blonde was grateful for James' care. He started rubbing the sleep from his eyes when the phone started ringing.

"I'll get that," James quickly said as he rose from the bed. "Just get ready and eat something, okay?"

"Okay," Kendall said as he watched James leave.

James rushed to the living room, grabbing the ringing phone that laid on the coffee table. "Hello?"

"_Hello,_" the female voice said. "_This is LA General Hospital._ _Is this the residence of Logan Mitchell?_"

James felt his mouth go dry at the mention of Logan's name. James' head spun as he desperately tried to imagine all the possible reasons for this phone call, making the brunette slightly dizzy. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Y-yes. Is he...is he...?"

"_He's fine,_" the woman answered, as if she already knew how panicked James had become. "_We have good news. It seems like he is beginning to wake up-_"

"Really?" James asked, his eyes widened and he almost lost grip on the phone he was holding.

"_Yes. So far, he's been responsive, and we were wondering if you could come over here as soon as possible._"

"Y-yeah," James breathed out. "Okay sure." He hung up the phone and turned around, only to be greeted by a worried looking Carlos, dressed up and ready to go.

Carlos swallowed. "I-is Logan-?"

"They think he's waking up," James said. He didn't know if Carlos was going to ask of Logan died, or if Logan was awake, but James couldn't let the Latino finish his sentence. He was just to excited. "Is Kendall done?"

"Not yet," Carlos answered, his mind still holding on to the fact that Logan may wake up today. A thought suddenly hit him. "I'll call Camille. She can come with us," he said happily as he pulled out his phone and dialed the drama queen's number.

* * *

James and Carlos could swear that Kendall's eyes had finally lit up for the first time in seven days.

James drove as fast as he could. If Logan really _was _waking up today, then they all wanted to be there on time so that their friend didn't wake up alone.

Carlos and Kendall sat in the back seat. Carlos slowly reached out his hand to gently tap Kendall's arm. "You okay, buddy?"

Kendall nodded, putting on a smile that he hoped would reassure his friend. He stole a glance at the speedometer and sighed. "I just really hope Logan wakes up today." Despite the fact that Kendall found out that James was going 85 miles per hour, Kendall still felt like this car was slowly crawling to their destination.

"I know," Carlos replied, his voice continuing to get softer. "It's just that...Me and James...we're worried about you too. You haven't talked about the accident after..." Carlos trailed off. He had a strong feeling in his gut that Kendall didn't want to be reminded of the fact that in the hospital he cried for what seemed like hours. Then it made Carlos remember that that was the last time Kendall showed any real emotion.

"I'm fine," Kendall quickly said, his voice having the slightest hint of annoyance, which Carlos was able to spot. Kendall suddenly felt like a thousand pounds of guilt had been put on his shoulders after seeing the hurt expression on Carlos' face. Kendall sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm so sorry, Carlos," he apologized. "I'm fine. Really. Just a little tired."

Carlos nodded in understanding. "Just know that you can always talk to me and James, okay?" he offered. "I'm serious."

"I know," Kendall said. "And I am too." Kendall flashed another smile, hoping to ease the Latino just a little bit.

When the four teenagers arrived at the hospital, they made a quick dash to the fourth floor. They honestly couldn't remember a time they had run so fast.

James was the first to reach Logan's room. "There it is," he announced when his three other friends caught up. "Room 437." James closed his eyes, saying a quick silent prayer that today be the day Logan wakes up and returns to his friends.

James held the doorknob, and with a strong grip, he slowly turned to metal object, opening the door to Logan's room.

Every time this past week, they walked into Logan's room the same way. They felt their breath hitch when they laid eyes on Logan's pale, broken, unmoving body. They would feel their legs weakening as they got closer and closer to Logan's bedside. Carlos and Camille would shake a little bit as they grabbed hold of his hands. Kendall felt his airways close up every time he began focusing on the tube going down Logan's throat. James never hesitated to run his fingers through Logan's dark hair.

That was their ritual. Everyday the four of them would go visit Logan. And everyday, they did the exact same things.

Occasionally, someone would speak up and say something, hoping that Logan could hear them and respond.

Kendall scanned Logan's body. Always noticing the way Logan's body looked. Casts covered his left arm, hip, and leg. Carlos was gentle as he held onto Logan's left hand, afraid of jostling Logan's hurt limb.

Kendall also noticed the scars on Logan's face. What was more noticeable than those scars, was the gauze wrapped around Logan's throat. The gauze's sole purpose was to cover up the incision received during Logan's surgery. The surgery that could prevent Logan from ever singing again.

"Why won't you wake up yet?" Kendall whispered. It was impossible for anyone to even hear him. He doubted that Logan, in his deep coma, would be able to hear him. He quickly wiped a tear that had made its way down his face.

Camille gasped. "I think I saw his eyelids move!" she announced, breaking the silence.

The three boys leaned closer to Logan's face, looking, and praying, for even the slightest movement.

And their prayers were suddenly answered.

Logan's eyebrows scrunched together as his eyelids tried to separate themselves.

"C-call a doctor," Kendall said as a general command, spoken to no one in particular.

Logan's eyes slowly pried open, before they closed again.

"Try a again, Logan," James begged. He was the first one to get his fingers working well enough to hit the call button "Please try again."

Thankfully, Logan obeyed. He once again attempted to open his tired eyes, but this time, he met with success.

He was out of it, Logan's friends could immediately tell. The fact that his eyes had a glazed look was one hint. Another hint was the fact that by now, Logan hadn't begun to freak out over the fact that there was a huge piece of plastic down his throat preventing his natural breathing,

Logan was so out of it that he didn't realize that he wasn't breathing on his own.

"Oh Logie," Carlos muttered in sympathy.

A middle aged lady with brown hair walked in. Everyone already recognized her as Doctor Wilson. Before she could open her mouth, she already knew why she was called. Her patient had finally woken up.

"I see Mr. Mitchell is awake," she said with a smile as she walked over to Logan's bedside.

Carlos nodded. "But is he...you know? Actually...with us?"

Doctor Wilson nodded. "He will be. Just give him time. He has a lot of medicines running through his system right now."

Carlos visibly relaxed, but tensed up again when he saw Doctor Wilson begin to remove Logan's tube.

Once she was all done, Doctor Wilson smiled. "As of right now," she said. "We have nothing to worry about. Logan is going nowhere but up."

In this past week, Logan's life had almost ended more than once. The first instance in the hospital being a sudden case of what doctors said was a pneumothorax, which they later found out was a fancy word for collapsed lung caused by Logan's crushed trachea. If the doctors hadn't caught that on time, he would have died.

Two nights after that, Logan's heart stopped. The poor boy had basically given up, as if he felt that he couldn't continue living in pain anymore.

But that's passed. Logan is awake now, and that's what mattered.

"Hey, buddy," James said with a smile as he looked into Logan's confused eyes. "We missed ya."

But Logan didn't say a word.

* * *

**So...what do ya think? O_o**

**Okay, so I've decided to hold this story and myself hostage. Why? Because I have two BTR fics and a Common Law fic that I've kinda been ignoring ever since I started this story. So I've decided that I won't update this story until the other stories have been updated XP So I'll try to update those fast.**

**Sorry I didn't go too into detail about what happened to Logan at the hospital that week. But y'all get the gist, right? XD  
**


	6. Uncertain

**Y'all really know how to show love, don't ya? Thanks for the reviews, alerts, and favs! :D**

**Well, I remember saying that I wouldn't update this story until my other three were taken care of...Well, I updated one BTR fic, Pretender, and my Common Law fic, Deadly Secrets. The problem was...I have some writer's block with my other BTR story, Skin, so I haven't updated that yet. But I would just feel bad for not updating this story even though I already had this chapter (and the next) planned out already. **

**So here it is! Enjoy!**

* * *

Carlos was bored.

Don't get him wrong. He was glad that Logan had finally beaten his coma. He was glad he was around his best friends...

...but for the past two days, Logan had been falling in and out of consciousness. Logan would be awake for a little less than an hour or two before falling into a very deep sleep that lasted for _hours._

And now, the boys were in Logan's hospital room. Logan hadn't woken up at all yet, which scared Carlos, James, and Kendall, but the doctors said that everything going on with Logan was to be expected. Then the doctors told them not to worry, but to think of it all as Logan sleeping like a normal person usually would.

He was healing, and that's a very good sign.

Kendall thought that was all bull. He couldn't stop his brain from telling him that Logan was still in a coma. That Logan waking up two days ago was an illusion. That all the other times he saw Logan awake was part of his sick, twisted imagination.

James was the first to notice Logan begin to stir. "I...I think he's waking up," James announced, his hopeful eyes never leaving Logan's body.

When Logan's eyes opened up, Kendall sighed in relief, a small smile grazing his face. "H-hey, Logie," Kendall greeted in a soft voice. "You doing okay?"

Kendall tried to engage his shorter friend in conversation, hoping they would all hear Logan's voice again. It took Logan a while, but he finally responded. He responded with a seemingly delirious nod.

James felt his eyes watering, but he didn't want that to show. Logan hasn't said a word since his awakening, and it scared James to no end. Everyone knew that Logan wasn't supposed to talk until his trachea had completely healed. But it had been six days since the surgery. Shouldn't Logan have gone through _some _kind of improvement with his voice?

The door suddenly opened, with Dr. Wilson walking in to check up on Logan. She gave Logan's three best friends a sad smile before she began focusing on her patient.

"Um, Doctor Wilson?" Carlos spoke up shyly. The doctor hummed in response, so the small Latino continued. "When can Logie talk again?"

Doctor Wilson sighed and turned to face Carlos. "The bruising needs to go down first," she began. "And that can range anywhere from now to...a while." She noticed the obvious looks of disappointment etched on the three boys' faces. "But we shouldn't lose hope. I'm sure he'll make a fine recovery."

Logan had a look of annoyance on his face, as if he wanted to say, "You guys know I'm still here, right?"

James thanked the doctor before she took her leave. He turned his full attention back to Logan, who was fiddling with the plain, white sheets on his bed. "I can't wait for you to come back home, Logan," James began, hoping to rid of the silence that filled the room after Doctor Wilson's departure. "2J- No. The Palm Woods, is definitely not the same without you. Everyone misses you. Even Ozzy and the Jennifers."

Logan's three best friends could see Logan's face turning a light shade of red. He didn't expect to be missed that much, especially by those people. Logan smiled in gratitude.

In all honesty, Carlos hadn't been even tempted to try a stunt since the accident. It just didn't feel right to him anymore. To him, his stunts had always been part of his careless nature, and he wasn't afraid of the pain or the consequences that might come afterward.

It was fun. Plain fun.

But Carlos saw things differently now. Logan was suffering because the man that hit their car wanted to have fun. Logan was suffering because someone decided to be careless. Logan was suffering because the person that hit them didn't think about the consequences. He didn't think about the pain that would come afterward.

"When are you coming back, Logie?" Carlos finally asked in a whisper, hoping Logan didn't actually hear him.

Logan noticed Kendall was seeming farther and farther away from them. He opened his mouth, hoping today would be the day that he would be able to make a sound, but nothing came out. In an attempt to get Kendall's attention, a puff of air came out of Logan's mouth, instead.

"Don't do that, Logan," James warned in a kind manner. "We need to wait for you to heal, remember?"

Logan gave a sad nod before looking over to Kendall. The blonde seemed lost in his own little world, deep in thought.

Carlos could see what his hurt friend was trying to do, so he gently nudged Kendall's shoulder. "Kendall?" Carlos asked in a low voice. "I think Logie wants you to talk to him."

Carlos' words seemed to snap the blonde back into reality. Kendall got closer to Logan's bedside, holding onto the small boy's hand. "Sorry about that, Logan," Kendall said. _Sorry for everything. _

Logan gave a slight nod. One that told the blonde "it's okay".

Kendall smiled at Logan's ability to let things go so quickly, but his smile faded when he saw Logan look at the table at his bedside, where cold water sat. "You thirsty?" Kendall asked, receiving a desperate nod from Logan.

James looked to Kendall before gently hoisting Logan up, as Kendall grabbed water and brought the cold liquid to his lips.

Logan's friends watched in satisfaction as gratefully drank the water, relaxing in James' grip.

"Are you okay, now?" Carlos asked when he saw Logan stop drinking.

Logan nodded as he allowed James to lay him back onto the bed.

Carlos suddenly remembered something. "Oh!" he shouted, causing his three best friends to jump. "Camille's really sad that she couldn't come. She has a rehearsal today..." Carlos stopped as he twiddled with his fingers. "She...she was crying yesterday. She really misses you."

What Carlos _didn't _want to say, was that Camille wasn't the only who had been crying during Logan's absence. Katie was crying, forcing her mother and James to be by her side all of yesterday afternoon. Later than night, when he thought everyone was asleep, Kendall broke down into tears. He was in his room, and Carlos had woken up to go to the kitchen for a snack. Carlos stopped dead in his tracks when he heard soft sobs coming from Kendall's room, but the Latino was too afraid to enter the blonde's room. He knew Kendall wouldn't be happy. After all that, Carlos couldn't help but cry too, making sure he didn't make a sound in fear of waking up James.

Speaking of James, the tall brunette seemed to be the only one who was successful in keeping his emotions in check, and Carlos couldn't help but wonder how James could do it.

Carlos smiled at the thought of James. Everyone thought James was some shallow jerk who only cared about his looks and girls. But Carlos knew him as someone so much more. James is strong. Yes physically, but also in everything else. James is a good friend, willing to push aside his own needs when he saw that one of his best friends were in trouble.

When James saved Logan from those jocks after the small boy called them stupid in Latin, he was punched in the face twice. But he didn't care. Instead of looking in mirror or fixing his hair that became severely messed up during the fight, James embraced his bruised, scared, gasping friend after he scared away those jerks. And James held onto Logan, wishing he could protect Logan from every bad thing.

That was the real James. The James that when his friends were involved, nothing else mattered. Nothing else was important. Nothing else was worth his caring for. When his friends were involved, nothing else went through his head.

And right now, James was having one of those moments. His friends needed his help. And he was going to do his best to provide for them.

* * *

Griffin sighed in disappointment as he stared at Gustavo and Kelly. "Gustavo," Griffin began. "Care to tell me why your boy band hasn't come to work in a week?"

Kelly and Gustavo looked at Griffin as if he had a dancing monkey on his head. "Logan's in the hospital!" The two reminded the CEO for the billionth time.

Griffin nodded. "Yes. Just Logan. But the other three are in perfect condition to rehearse. I want them to start up again...tomorrow. Allowing them to vanish two months before they start their tour is not good."

Kelly waited for Griffin to say, "Just kidding! Let the boys take their time". But she knew that she could only dream. She never denied thinking that Griffin was insane, and that his expectations of the boys were always way too high.

Gustavo sighed. "I'll call them in tomorrow," he responded. "But they're not gonna work hard. They'll be at the studio for two hours max!" Gustavo said in a voice that was completely firm. Kelly and Griffin were surprised that he held his ground so well towards the CEO.

Griffin inhaled deeply before speaking. "Deal," he said.

Gustavo watched as Griffin happily left.

Before he had any idea of what was going on, he called James a day after the accident, demanding to know why the boys decided not to show up to the studio without any warning.

It was only after hearing James recall what happened, was when Gustavo, for the first time, felt the need to shut up. For the first time he felt guilt. Guilt for yelling at a boy that went through a traumatic experience. He knew that the last thing James, or any of the boys, needed, was to be yelled at over something as small as that.

"You're not _really_ gonna make the boys work, are you?" Kelly asked Gustavo, worry obvious in her voice. She remembered that not only was Logan still in the hospital, but Carlos still had his hurt shoulder.

Gustavo sighed before shaking his head. "I wouldn't do that," he answered. "Even my commands have limits. But the fate of Big Time Rush needs to be discussed. If we can't negotiate with Fujizaki and Griffin about letting these boys go on hiatus and possibly cancel the tour...We could lose Big Time Rush."

* * *

Two and a half hours later, Logan fell asleep to the sound of James softly singing a slow song.

Carlos was clutching Logan's right hand at this point, when a worried look became obvious on his face.

"Carlos," Kendall said, being the first to notice Carlos' sudden change of demeanor. Carlos snapped his head up to look Kendall in the eye. "What's wrong?" Kendall asked.

Carlos gave Logan another worried look before looking up at Kendall. "Logie...I think something's wrong with him." Carlos was praying. Praying that nothing was really wrong with Logan. Kendall, James, and Carlos just got Logan back. Carlos couldn't stand the idea of losing him again.

James jumped into action, feeling Logan's forehead. Sure enough, a little bit of heat was radiating off Logan's body. James sighed as pressed the call button. He didn't care if Logan's body temperature wasn't _that _hot, but the fact that his body temperature was rising when Logan was such in a weak state, gave Logan's friends license to panic just a little bit.

A nurse walked in, a confused look on her face as she asked what the matter was, since the young patient seemed fine.

"We think he's catching a fever," Kendall answered quickly, hoping that would spring the nurse into action. "Could you just make sure he's okay?"

The nurse nodded, seeing the genuine worry and sadness coming from the boys' eyes. The three conscious boys gave the nurse room to work with Logan, checking the hurt boy's temperature.

She nodded once she got her answers. "Ninety-nine point three," the nurse finally said once she checked Logan over. "Low grade fever, so we'll definitely be more aggressive in keeping watch over him," she said in a way she hoped would reassure the boys.

"Thank you," Carlos responded, his grip on Logan's hand tightening. Once the nurse left, he turned his attention back to Logan. "It'll be okay, Logie," he said, barely above a whisper. "You're not sick. Just stressed. You'll be okay when you wake up again."

Kendall heard Carlos' words, looking at his two smaller friends with several emotions flowing through his body. Hope. Exhaustion. Worry. Fear. Relief. Calmness. Rage. He felt it all, and he was highly confused as to what the _right _feeling should be. He took a guess. Hope. Logan's going to be fine, right? He has to be.

That's when a new feeling arose in Kendall's heart.

Uncertainty. And out of all of Kendall's feelings, uncertainty had to be the worst.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter seemed to be all over the place. Especially the part with Griffin and Gustavo. It's easy for me to write Gustavo's character, but not when he's with Griffin :P doesn't make sense right?**

**Anyway, did you guys like this chapter?**


	7. Logie

**Here's the next chapter! More Logan whump :D**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

A few hours later, Kendall, James, and Carlos followed in Logan's footsteps and fell asleep. James and Carlos were sprawled out on a couch that was conveniently put in the room thanks to hospital staff, while Kendall took a seat next to Logan's bed, and rested his head on the bed.

Kendall was dreaming about the day they met Logan in the third grade.

James was dreaming about the first high school hockey game their team won.

And Carlos was dreaming about the time he fell out of a tree in the sixth grade, and Logan was quick in coming to help, making sure the small Latino was okay.

And all four boys slept in peace.

But that peace ended when Kendall woke up to an absolutely horrid sound. Considering the fact that he, James, and Carlos were finally allowed to spend the night with Logan in the hospital, Kendall figured that any unnatural sound is allowed to cause panic.

Kendall was holding the Logan's warm hand...

...Logan's _really_ warm hand.

There was the noise again. As Kendall began to finally get a grip of his surroundings, his sleepy mind finally let him know what that noise was.

It was a cough. A very painful sounding cough.

Kendall studied Logan's face intently. Logan's usually pale face was a deep shade of red. His eyes were closed, but a trail of fresh tears would fall when a painful cough hit. His forehead was shiny because of sweat.

Logan's body was very heated, yet the hurt boy was shivering like he was in the Arctic.

"Oh my God, Logan!" Kendall shouted, awakening James and Carlos. Kendall ignored the two for now as he reached over and pressed the call button.

"What's wrong with Logie?" Carlos asked, his voice laced with fear as he watched and heard Logan painfully wheeze.

Another painful cough, and Carlos winced at the sound.

James got closer and began running his fingers though Logan's hair. "Logan?" James asked, hoping Logan would open his eyes. "Logan can you hear me? W-wake up, okay? Wake up, please." he begged.

But instead of Logan opening his eyes, Logan whimpered, pain etched on his face.

James was tempted to grab Logan by the shoulders and violently shake him. Anything to wake up Logan. But James figured it wasn't worth the risk to hurt Logan even more.

Thankfully someone finally came into Logan's room, seeing that the patient had a horrid cough and a flushed, sweaty face, the nurse went into overdrive. She ran out of the room, leaving the three awake boys worried and confused.

Once the nurse returned, this time with another doctor, Kendall, James, and Carlos were shoved away from Logan's bedside.

"Logan," James breathed out as he watched the hospital staff help his hurt friend.

The three boys were in shock as they heard snippets of the conversation between the doctor and nurse.

"Let's get this boy under an X-Ray," the doctor said to the nurse. "We need to see if this is pneumonia or not."

"He has a fever of 104.6," the nurse informed him.

Carlos almost choked. How did Logan get a fever that bad in such a short amount of time?

They watched numbly as Logan was wheeled out of the room, getting prepped for a chest X-Ray.

Kendall was shaking. Wasn't pneumonia really bad, especially for someone as weak and hurt as Logan? And why was all of this happening to them? Why did they have to be in that accident? Why is it that every time Logan's health had improved, there had to be a setback?

What did they do that was so bad that they deserved something like this?

James saw Kendall's trembling figure. "It's Logan," James whispered to the blonde. "He'll be okay. He promised he would never leave us, remember?"

* * *

_The boys of Big Time Rush were spread out on the bright orange couch in the living room of apartment 2J. It was a bad day for James, and Kendall, Logan, and Carlos knew they needed to be there for him._

_They were sitting in silence, but after a while, Kendall felt that it was time to break the silence. "James-"_

_"Don't," James commanded. He wasn't sure what Kendall wanted to say, and that's what scared him. "I don't want to hear whatever you have to say. I don't want to talk about my feelings. I don't want to even think about it."_

_"You can't keep things like this bottled up, James," Logan said. "We're here for you and we can tell how hard you're taking this."_

_James clenched his fists, taking deep breaths to control his anger. "I looked up to him," James finally said. "Yeah, I was mad when my mom and dad divorced. But Dad promised to still always be there for me. Then he married Tiffany, and our relationship never changed. I don't get it! What did I do that was so bad that he no longer wants me to be a part of his life?" James asked, his voice increasing as his eyes began watering up._

_"You didn't do anything wrong, James," Carlos says soothingly. _

_"My dad doesn't want me anymore," James reminded his friends. "He said he doesn't want anything to do with me. Why?"_

_Kendall sighed. He didn't have an answer. Why would James' own father not want him anymore? Kendall couldn't think of anything to say. But thankfully, Logan did._

_Logan put his arm around James' shoulders and held him tight. "It's not you, James," Logan began. "You're an amazing guy. You never did anything wrong, and I'm sorry for saying this, but your dad is just being stupid. He's stupid for not wanting someone like you in his life. You shouldn't be the one sad about this. He should, because he ended a relationship with a great person, and he'll be the one to suffer."_

_James sobbed a bit, taking in Logan's words. "It just feels like...like if my own father doesn't want me, why would any of you guys?"_

_"No," Logan quickly replied. "Your dad made a huge mistake. And we," he said, gesturing to himself, Carlos, and Kendall. "Will never leave you. You know why? Because we're your best friends and best friends don't just leave each other." Logan held James tighter. "I will never leave you, or Kendall, or Carlos. And that's how they all feel too. We're not gonna leave each other behind, got that?_

* * *

So Logan did have pneumonia. Chest X-Rays confirmed it.

Thankfully, doctors were able to get Logan's fever down to 100.7, which was still high, but an improvement from the 104.6 regardless. But Logan's cough and difficulty breathing required the sick boy to be strapped to an oxygen mask.

Kendall ran his knuckles down Logan's face. "I'm sorry you have to go through this, buddy," Kendall said under his breath.

James was busy gently running his fingers through Logan's sweaty hair when Mrs. Knight and Katie walked in.

"M-Mom," Kendall addressed his mother as she pulled her son into a warm hug. "He's okay now," Kendall whispered. "He's getting better."

"How did he even get the pneumonia?" Katie asked, her eyes glued to Logan's sleeping form.

James sighed. "The doctors said it's normal after getting a collapsed lung," he explained. "It doesn't happen all the time...but it's not uncommon either."

Katie nodded in understanding.

James was looking at Carlos in worry, seeing as how he hadn't spoken since Logan had been returned from his X-Rays. James couldn't tell which of his two friends were taking Logan's condition the hardest.

There was Kendall, who James still believes he blames himself for the accident.

Then there was Carlos, who stopped being...Carlos. Carlos stopped cracking jokes. He stopped being energetic. He just stopped being himself.

And James couldn't stand that the both of them were like that.

But now James figured that if Kendall and Carlos had become like that, how bad had _he _become?

"Boys," Mama Knight said, breaking the silence. Her eyes darting between Logan, Kendall, Carlos, and James. She didn't know where she was going to go with this, but she knew that she needed to comfort her boys as much as possible. "I know this time is and will be hard for you."

The three boys looked down.

"But I don't want you boys to suffer," she continued. "You boys haven't been taking very good care of yourselves since the accident. And I want you boys to know that Katie and I are very worried."

James sighed. "W-we don't mean to," he began. "It just...escapes us, you know?"

Jennifer nodded. She got closer to James and handed her car keys to him. "I want you boys to go home, get something to eat, okay?"

"No!" Carlos replied. "We can't leave Logie! He needs us." His pleading eyes began to water up. "We can't leave him," he repeated.

"Do you think Logan wants you to be ignoring your health?" Mama Knight asked as her eyes scanned the three boys. She was quick in noticing that Kendall had shed a few pounds these past couple of days.

"What if we leave and then Logan wakes up?" Kendall asked.

"We'll be here, big brother," Katie spoke up. "We'll be here for him and he won't be alone." She looked straight into Kendall's sad, green eyes. "Just please eat something and get some real rest, okay?"

Kendall looked at his sister before glancing at his mother. He saw the worry in both of their eyes. Kendall looked to James and Carlos. "Let's go, guys," Kendall finally said. "We'll be back for him soon, okay?"

James and Carlos looked at Logan before nodding at Kendall's command.

James looked at the keys in his hand, and the three boys left the hospital room, promising to come back as soon as possible.

* * *

After the boys had showered, they chowed down on pizza they had ordered. Mama Knight told them they couldn't come back to the hospital without her say-so.

Thankfully, Logan hadn't woken up, so the boys couldn't feel guilty for Logan waking up without them being there.

Carlos fiddled in his pocket, searching for the twenty dollars he had placed in there.

"What's the twenty for?" James asked after seeing Carlos sigh in relief knowing that he had not lost the money.

Carlos smiled. "I'm gonna get a gift for Logie," he answered with enthusiasm in his voice.

"How come you never call Logan by his real name anymore?" Kendall asked. Ever since the accident, Kendall noticed that Carlos had changed their friend's name from Logan to "Logie".

Carlos shrugged. "I-I didn't even notice," he answered truthfully. He knew what Kendall was asking. Calling Logan "Logie" wasn't weird to any of them. It was probably weird for the people outside their circle, but to the four boys, having a nickname like "Logie" was completely acceptable.

"You called me Jamie for a week in the ninth grade after I was sent to the hospital after having an asthma attack," James reminded him.

Carlos felt his eyes watering up after hearing that statement. "I was scared!" Carlos replied. "James! You and I were playing football then suddenly you couldn't breathe. You turned blue and...and you stopped breathing." Carlos stopped when his falling tears turned into full fledged sobbing. "I didn't know what to do and I thought you were dead. I just..." he trailed off when he felt Kendall and James wrap their long arms around him.

"It's okay, Carlitos," James said softly. "It's okay."

"Every time I called you 'Jamie', I felt like I was getting closer to you," Carlos confessed. "I guess...when one of you gets hurt really bad, I wish we were back in elementary school, you know? When we made up those nicknames. And I guess I wish I was back there. We never had to worry about anything in elementary school. Our lives were perfect!"

Kendall sighed as his grip on Carlos tightened. "You're right, Carlos," he said. "Our life was better when we were younger, and sometimes I wish we could go back in time. But we're here now, and we should be happy that the four of us made it this far...Together! And we're gonna keep on going. Because that's who we are. Remember when we sang Halfway There? We take what comes and we keep on going."

Though Kendall's father died of cancer when Kendall had turned seven, he was prepared for it. Losing his father was hard, but the fact that Kendall and his mother were ready for William Knight's death, it made it a tad less painful.

Carlos wiped the tears from his eyes. "Logie's given up before. His heart stopped remember?"

"No," James responded. "Logan was still fighting, it was just...a harder fight for him. He came back us, and that shows that he wasn't ready to give up. Logan's a fighter."

Carlos gave let a sad smile graze his face. "Thank you so much, you guys."

* * *

**Was this chapter angsty enough? Well if it wasn't, trust me, I have A WHOLE LOT planned to compensate LOL**

**So I made an outline for this story! Yay! And I've realized that this story is gonna be one long mama-jamma. I've outlined up to a 32nd chapter and I'm not even done. So I'm guessing 35-40 chapters. How does that sound?  
**

**I'm soooooo ready for the Olympics!  
**

**Anyway, what do ya think about this chapter? :D  
**


	8. This is Communicating

**Thanks a lot to you guys! *heart***

******I saw Batman yesterday. My mom got so mad for seeing a movie that attracts mass killers O_O**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Kendall was really mad right now. Gustavo just called the boys to let them know that they were about to be picked up to go to Rocque Records.

Mad wasn't even an accurate word to describe how Kendall felt. How could Gustavo be so insensitive?  
Gustavo knew about the accident, yet he still expected what was left of his boy band to just drop everything and start working on harmonies and choreography like nothing happened?

Well Kendall wouldn't have it. He wouldn't have it one bit.

Carlos and James were more scared than mad. Gustavo sounded really serious over the phone. Not his usual angry voice that could be heard from miles away. Not his usual voice of annoyance that Gustavo used when the boys were late.

He was calm, talking in a way that seemed...caring. Understanding. A not-like-Gustavo kind of manner.

Carlos took a seat on the bed, trying to be as close to Logan as possible, who still hadn't woken up since yesterday. "I got you something, Logie," Carlos whispered as he placed a stuffed dog in Logan's right hand, making it seem like Logan had snuggled up with the stuffed animal.

Kendall could swear that he saw Logan's hand tighten its grip on the dog without Carlos' help, but he wasn't too sure.

Carlos continued fiddling around Logan. Fluffing his pillows. Adjusting his blanket. Anything to make sure that Logan woke up in a comfortable environment.

James smiled. If they hadn't been under such harsh circumstances, he would comment out loud about how cute the scene had looked.

When Carlos was done, he looked at Logan with worry, and James felt that it was time to step in. He walked up to Carlos and put his hand on the Latino's back. "He'll be with Mama Knight, Katie, and Camille again until we get back," he said. "He'll be okay until then."

"What if he wakes up looking for us?" Carlos asked, as if he hadn't heard James' reassurance. "What if he wakes up and we're gone?"

"Then he has the dog," Kendall said as he smiled a little bit.

Kendall was sitting in a chair close to Logan's bed when the door opened. He was expecting it to be his mother, Katie, Camille, or even someone from the hospital staff.

He hadn't expected Kelly and Gustavo to actually come _inside _Logan's room, let alone the hospital.

"D-did you two come to see Logan?" James asked, staring at amazement that the heartless Gustavo Rocque made it an effort to check up on Logan. "I thought we were going to the studio."

Gustavo wanted to lie. So he did. "I decided that you boys didn't need to make an unnecessary trip to the studio in order to hear what news I have to say," he began. "So we came here ourselves."

Kelly rolled her eyes. That's not what he said in the car.

Kendall looked at him with confusion etched on his face. "News?" he asked. "What news?"

Gustavo sighed. "It's about Griffin...and the band," Gustavo answered.

"What?" Carlos breathed out, already thinking the worst. He knew that Griffin had heard about the accident, including Logan's injuries and his surgery. But the doctor said that they shouldn't lose hope. Not yet. "Is he...is he firing us?" Carlos asked, his big brown eyes already watering up.

"No, it's not that," Kelly answered Carlos' question, receiving a sigh of relief from the three boys.

"But I am canceling your upcoming concerts" Gustavo cut in. "Yesterday, I was able to call Griffin and Fujizaki in order to pull some strings. Your jobs are safe. As of now, Big Time Rush is on hiatus."

Kendall smiled. "Thank you so much Gustavo." Kendall was beginning to feel bad about everything he had said and felt about Gustavo before this conversation.

"Is he getting any better at all?" Kelly asked, her eyes scanning Logan and his injuries.

The three boys were silent for a while, before Kendall started speaking. "We...honestly don't know. We thought he was, but right now, he's suffering from pneumonia. They said it's a complication from his lung collapsing. But...the doctors said that his injuries are healing fast. And they're still monitoring Logan's trachea."

Kelly nodded in understanding.

"But on the bright side," James spoke up. "They're removing the cast on Logan's hip sometime today." He figured it wouldn't hurt to brighten up the mood a bit.

The door to Logan's room opened. "Sorry we're late," Mama Knight apologized. "We-" she interrupted herself when she saw that Kelly and Gustavo were in the room. "I thought..."

"They came here instead," Carlos said with a smile on his face. "They wanted to see Logie."

Gustavo was about to defend himself and announce that he did _not _come for Logan. That he came for business instead, but Kelly caught him in the act and glared before Gustavo could even open his mouth.

Camille slowly walked to Logan's bedside. She could feel her eyes becoming misty from the tears threatening to fall. Seeing Logan look so vulnerable was something that she couldn't handle.

"His fever's going down," Kendall said to Camille, seeing how tense she was. He hoped that statement would ease her nerves a little bit.

"Can he...can he talk yet?" Camille asked, her voice soft with pity.

"Last time he was awake, no," Carlos answered. "But Dr. Wilson said to give it time."

Eleven days. Logan had been in the hospital for eleven days. Yet it had felt so much longer. Eleven weeks sounded more accurate.

Logan stirred, once again tightening his grip on the stuffed dog that was placed in his hands. A loud exhale could be heard as Logan relaxed into his bed once again.

Logan's hospital door opened once again. It was Doctor Wilson, a big smile on her face. "We need to borrow Mr. Mitchell again," she announced. "If his X-Ray checks out, the hip cast comes off."

* * *

Logan slowly forced his eyes open. Something felt different. Something was missing.

He shifted in his bed a little bit, before he heard Carlos speak in excitement.

"Logie!" Carlos yelled before pulling Logan into an awkward, but gentle hug. "Guess what," Carlos continued after finally letting go of his injured friend. "You got the cast on your hip removed! You were asleep though."

Logan felt a small smile creep on his face. So that's what was missing.

Logan brought a hand to his face, feeling a tube wrapped below his nose. He looked at everyone with confusion, seeing as how he didn't remember this being on the last time he was awake.

James immediately knew the question on Logan's mind. "It's to help you breathe better," James answered. "You were asleep for this," As always. "But you came down with pneumonia yesterday." Logan's eyes widened in shock. "Yeah," James continued. "So they had to put you on oxygen because your breathing got so bad." James sighed. "But after you got your cast removed, the doctors decided of replace your mask with that oxygen tube instead."

Logan blinked slowly as he tried to process everything he had just heard. Pneumonia? And he wasn't awake for any of it?

Carlos gave Logan back his stuffed dog. "I gave this to you earlier today," Carlos began explaining. "But you were asleep and the doctors gave it back to me when you were about to get your X-Rays done. You weren't allowed to hold your dog while getting an X-Ray. I don't see why not."

Logan grasped the dog with his right hand, smiling at the fact that Carlos had written "From: Carlitos To: Logie" on the dog's stomach.

"Hey, Logan," Kelly said as she got closer to his bed. Logan hadn't seen her or Gustavo the entire time that he was in the hospital, so she felt that making her presence known right now was important. "How ya feeling?" Kelly asked before she remembered that Logan couldn't respond to questions that did not involve yes or no answers.

Though in reality, Logan was ready to open his mouth and talk. He wanted to scream, even. The usually shy and self conscious boy was now dying for his voice to be heard.

Mama Knight reached into her big purse, and pulled out a small white board and a black marker. "I figured you would need this," she said with a smile as she placed the board on his lap.

Logan smiled in gratitude. It wasn't his voice, but it was the next best thing. He began scribbling on the white board, writing a question he had been dying to ask ever since he woke up.

_Is everybody okay?_

They all stared in amazement. It wasn't a surprise to them that Logan was so caring and he never failed to put others before himself.

But the boy who had woken up from a coma with a crushed trachea, pneumonia, a broken arm, a broken leg, two broken ribs, and a fractured hip asked all the healthy people if they were okay.

Something was really wrong with this picture.

James scoffed. "Of course we're okay, Logan," he finally answered. "You're the one that's hurt. You're the one we're worried about. Now are _you _okay?"

Katie looked to James with much concern. Ever since the accident, she had been keeping a close eye on the boys. James definitely was one she was looking out for the most. He didn't care about his hair or his style anymore. Why? Because he was too busy caring for his friends. Katie saw that as highly commendable. But at the same time, she wondered how much sleep he was really getting.

Logan smiled and nodded. He erased what was in the board with his fingers and began writing something else.

_I was just worried because I wasn't the only person in the car, and no one has really told me anything about the accident. I hardly remember it._

Logan was running out of room on his small board, so he showed everyone the message before erasing it to add more.

_Just because all of you aren't in hospital beds doesn't mean that you're not hurting either._

Logan was sad as he wrote that last message. His friends could easily tell. Logan was glad that he couldn't recall the accident because he was sure that having such a traumatic experience in his head could be a bad thing. But Logan was upset that his friends would be sharing the burden amongst themselves and he couldn't do anything to help them.

"Well we're glad you can't remember the accident," Carlos said as if he read Logan's mind. If anything, Carlos was jealous. He wished _he_ could wipe out the memory of the car accident from his mind. At least then, he wouldn't be able to remember his friends screaming. Or Kendall passing out. Or Logan having so much difficulty breathing.

Yeah. That would be nice.

Everyone in the room nodded in agreement with Carlos' statement. They didn't want their hurt friend to be thinking about that.

Logan sighed. He slowly erased what was written on the board, contemplating whether or not he should write down the next question.

Finally, he did.

_So what happened?_

James swallowed the lump in his throat. How could he tell Logan that a drunk driver hit their car and they flipped? How could James tell Logan that he was directly hit in the accident? That he had a twenty percent chance of surviving and that he's lucky he's alive now?

"M-maybe later, Logan," James finally responded.

_Promise that you'll eventually tell me, _Logan demanded in writing.

James reluctantly nodded before turning his gaze somewhere else. Anywhere besides Logan's eyes. "Promise," he said before sucking in a deep breath.

* * *

When the door to Logan's hospital room was opened the first time, it was Kelly and Gustavo. The next time it opened, it was Mama Knight, Katie, and Camille. The third time, was Doctor Wilson coming in to remove Logan's hip cast.

The fourth time Logan's door opened, the injured boy's eyes lit up. A huge smile appeared on his face. He grabbed his white board and started writing excitedly.

_Hi Mom! Hi Dad!_

Logan's parents quickly traveled to their son's bedside. Joanna and her husband, Alexander, wrapped their son in a three way hug.

"We were so worried about you," Joanna said. She felt her son's forehead before a look of worry became present on her face.

"They're doing their best to bring down his fever," Mrs. Knight said to reassure Logan's parents.

Logan yawned while nodding at the statement. He still wasn't feeling good, but he knew that he wasn't as bad as the day before. He coughed onto his arm. They could all tell that the simple act had caused him some pain, but Logan brushed it off before writing on the board again.

_I'm glad you came_

Alexander smiled. "We were in Europe when Jennifer called us," he told his son. Logan nodded. He already knew about his parents' trip. Once a year since Logan was twelve, they would go...anywhere. It was their little couple's retreat.

_It's okay, Dad. At least you're here now, _Logan wrote down.

"Are you feeling better?" His mom asked.

Logan nodded before writing again.

_Everyone's been taking good care of me. Especially James, Carlos, and Kendall_

Kendall felt something tug at his heart when he read Logan's statement. He _put _Logan in that situation. Kendall wouldn't have to be taking care of Logan if it wasn't for Kendall being so stupid in the first place, right?

Kendall's horrid thoughts were interrupted when he felt Camille pat his back in gratitude.

Joanna looked over at the said three boys and smiled. She kissed her son's forehead. "I'm so glad that you're getting better, honey," Joanna said as her eyes began watering up. "Promise me that you'll never scare us like that again."

Logan grabbed his board and marker for what would be his last time for the day.

_Promise, _he wrote before yawning once again.

"Get some sleep, son," Alexander said after seeing how much his son was fighting the desperate sleep he needed.

Logan broke a record that day. He was awake for three full hours before he laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes to sleep. The thought of everyone he loved being around him was the last comprehensive thing that floated in his brain before the darkness took over.

* * *

**Yeah. I made Logan pass out again. And now his parents are here! So...do you think it helps or worsens the situation at hand?**

**Review? XD  
**


	9. Blame

**Celebrity news: Snoop Dog has changed his name to Snoop Lion.**

**I'm kinda in mourning right now.  
**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Logan's parents loved him. They loved their smart, respectful, and talented son. They never hesitated to show him love and were always by his side. To them, he was their perfect little angel.

Logan felt the same way about his parents. He loved them a lot and respected them, he'd get slightly embarrassed when his mother called him "sweetie" or "honey".

Logan was their only child, so of course, they sometimes smothered him, wanting to even spoil him sometimes.

"Jen," Joanna said. Logan was asleep, once again, and she was running her small fingers through Logan's hair. "You just told us that Logan was in an accident. Do you have any details?"

Jennifer swallowed the lump in her throat. James, Kendall, and Carlos were sent back to the apartment last night, and they still hadn't returned yet. She would prefer that one of them tell the story because their stories would be more accurate, but she also didn't want them to talk about it again. Not if they weren't ready, anyway.

"They were at a party," Jennifer began. "They were coming back late when it started raining. Kendall was driving, but...he wasn't doing anything wrong. A driver came behind them and started swerving. Kendall started speeding up and tried to avoid him, but the driver sped up too and hit them." Jennifer looked down. "Logan was sitting behind Kendall. That happened to be where the car hit. That's why Logan was much worse than the rest.

Alexander nodded in understanding. "Were the others hurt?" he asked when he realized that he never asked the boys if any of them got injured as well.

Jennifer nodded, her eyes tearing up at the thought of her son. "Kendall got a concussion. James and Carlos, who dislocated his shoulder, both got a few scratches. But other than that, they're okay. It's Logan they're all worried about."

"Thank you so much for helping him," Joanna said. "And thank you for allowing my husband and I to stay ay your apartment."

"It's no problem," Jennifer responded with a wave of a hand. "I would never let my friends stay at a hotel when I know that I can help."

"Well, thanks again," Joanna said, her eyes glued to her son. She soon noticed that her son's face began to scrunch up in discomfort. She gasped. "I think something's wrong with him."

Alexander looked to his son, realizing what his wife was talking about.

Logan's face was sweaty, his eyebrows were scrunched together, and it sounded like the rate of his breathing had increased.

Logan was still battling his pneumonia and fever, but something else was wrong. They could all just tell.

Joanna was quick in taking action. She spotted the call button and urgently pressed it, fearing for her son's life.

Alexander tapped his son's face. "Logan," he said. "Logan wake up, okay?"

Everyone was afraid that his pleas were falling on deaf ears, until Logan's eyes slowly opened to little slits. Logan's glazed eyes stared into space, but his body jerked when a new wave of pain hit him.

"Logan!" his mother called out. "What hurts, sweetie?"

Logan let a tear fall from his eye before tightly gripping his ribs when they started throbbing.

Joanna cupped his face into her hand. "Don't worry, okay?" she said while trying to hide her panic. "A doctor is gonna come in to make it stop hurting, okay?"

Logan just laid there for a while before finally nodding.

At last the door to his room opened, and the nurse, seeing the look Logan wore on his face, was pushed into action. She ran out, returning with Doctor Wilson, who stuck a syringe into Logan's IV and watched as the pale boy relaxed.

"Is he okay?" Joanna asked.

Doctor Wilson nodded. "His ribs still haven't healed yet. The fact that he has pneumonia doesn't help either," she answered. "This isn't the first it's happened to him. We just have to keep monitoring him until he's completely free from his pneumonia and his ribs heal."

"Thank you," Alexander said to her before she walked out.

"Are you feeling better, Logan?" Joanna asks.

Logan nods, wanting to fall back asleep. Instead, he looks around the room, wondering where his friends went. This was the first time he woke up and they weren't there, so he was kind of worried.

"I sent them home," Jennifer said, already knowing what Logan was thinking. "They're resting for now."

Logan smiled, glad his friends were giving themselves the attention they needed.

"You can go back to sleep if you're tired, honey," Logan's mother said softly.

Logan couldn't find a reason to argue. His eyelids became heavier and heavier until they fluttered closed. A peaceful look on his face.

"She said that wasn't the first time," Alexander mentioned. "What other time has it happened?"

"He was with the boys the first time," Jennifer answered. "It was a few hours after he was diagnosed with pneumonia. It wasn't as bad as today because Logan was so deep in sleep the last time."

"Okay," Alexander whispered as he took Logan's hand. He brought Logan's hand to his face and kissed it. "Do you know how long he'll be in here?"

"The doctor estimated that at most, he'll be here for two months," Jennifer said. "It all depends on how well his injuries heal."

"What about his voice?" Joanna asked. "When can he talk again?"

"That one isn't known yet," Jennifer said. "Again, it depends on how fast he heals."

"I still can't believe he went through all this," Joanna whispered as she felt her eyes watering up. "He's so young and innocent and...and someone almost killed my baby."

Logan shifted in his bed a bit, causing everyone to be silent, thinking he would wake up with another form of discomfort. They all sighed in relief when they realized that Logan was okay and fell back into a peaceful rest.

Jennifer's phone started ringing. "Oh," she said once she checked who was calling. "It's Kendall. I'll just take this outside," she said as she walked out the room.

"Logan's gonna be okay, you know," Alexander reassured his wife. "It's a miracle that he's alive but the point is that he's okay."

Joanna nodded. "I know but...but I've always felt that he wasn't safe here," she said. "This isn't the first time that he's been hurt since he moved here. He's been beat up, kidnapped, _and _he's suffered from exhaustion more than once. How many times did he faint due to stress or lack of sleep because he had to clean up the mistakes his friends made?"

Alexander sighed. "Come on, Joanna. You love the boys. And you know how many times they help our Logan when he gets in those situations."

"Yes but, just think," Joanna argued. "How many times did his friends _put _him in those situations. They wouldn't need to help him so much if they didn't let him get into all that trouble in the first place."

"What are you trying to say?" Alexander asked.

Joanna sighed. "I know Logan's seventeen, and next year he can do whatever he wants. But you have to agree. Logan was safer in Minnesota than he was in LA, right?"

When Alexander just sighed, Joanna asked again. "Right?"

Alexander nodded his head in reluctance. "Yeah, you're right. But he has Jen here, and Kendall-"

"_Kendall _is the one that was driving," Joanna reminded him.

"But he wasn't drunk," Alexander reasoned. He couldn't argue that he always thought that Logan meeting Kendall helped Logan a lot. And he would never think of separating the two. Logan needed Kendall, and Logan would be devastated if he were taken away from Kendall.

Joanna rolled her eyes. "He should have been more careful!" she argued. "He knew it was late. He knew it was raining. He should have expected all of that! I bet that _Kendall _is the one that persuaded Logan to go to that party in the first place."

"You're right," Alexander said. "Kendall probably _did _convince our son to go to that party. He probably _should _have been more careful. And yes, I'm mad that Logan has suffered because of that night. But I'm not going to blame Kendall for this."

"Then you must be blind," Joanna spat. "I want Logan to come back to Minnesota when he gets better."

* * *

Kendall, James, and Carlos returned to the hospital an hour later. They weren't surprised to see Logan's parents still there also.

They all took the open seats in Logan's room. Jennifer kissed her son's forehead. "Are you okay, sweetie?" She noticed her son had begun to get a little bit better.

Kendall smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, Mom."

Carlos moaned. "I'm hungry," he whined.

Kendall looked at him in surprise. "Are you kidding me?" he asked. "You had _three _corn dogs before you came here."

Carlos shrugged. "Those were appetizers."

James chuckled. "C'mon, buddy," he said. "You and I can go get something together, okay?"

Carlos nodded excitedly before standing up and leaving the room with James.

Jennifer checked her watch. "I need to pick up Katie from her friend's house," she said with a sigh. She looked to Kendall. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Yes, Mom. The Mitchells are here," Kendall responded with a sigh. "Me and the guys will be fine."

"Okay," Jennifer said. "Bye, sweetie," she said before leaving the room.

Kendall sighed once his mother left. He turned to Logan's parents. "Maybe you two should get something to eat too," he suggested. "I mean, James and Carlos are in the cafeteria. I can have them pick up something for you."

Alexander smiled. How could his wife suddenly hate this boy? "No thank you," Alexander replied. "Your mother picked up food for us earlier."

Kendall smiled. "Well...well if you need anything, just let one of us know," Kendall offered. He turned his gaze to Mrs. Mitchell, who he noticed hadn't said a word since they came in.

Kendall walked closer to Logan's bedside. He hesitantly brought a hand to Logan's messy hair. "He tried speaking a few days ago," Kendall said with a chuckle, remembering the day Logan was diagnosed with pneumonia. "I can't wait for him to finally talk."

Joanna scoffed in disgust.

At this point, Kendall was confused. "Is something wrong?" he asked innocently.

Joanna gave Kendall a dirty look, but Alexander jumped in. "She's been taking Logan's accident pretty hard," he said. "We're still a bit in shock, you know?"

Kendall nodded, almost feeling a little sense of relief when Alexander answered the question.

Almost.

This time, Joanna spoke up. "Yes," she fiercely answered. "Yes. There is something wrong. It's you."

Kendall's green eyes widened. "Wh-what?" he breathed out.

"Ever since you boys moved to LA," Joanna began. "You've done nothing but get Logan into trouble. I was wondering how long it would take for you boys to get into serious trouble. Guess I didn't have to wait long."

"What are you saying?" Kendall asked, feeling his heart beating harshly.

"Joanna. Stop," Alexander commanded.

But Joanna didn't listen. "Let me ask you something. And be truthful this time because I know that's hard for you. When those kids invited you to that party, Logan said he didn't want to go right?" Joanna knew that her son was way to shy to _willingly _go to a party filled with people he wasn't too familiar with.

Kendall swallowed the lump in his throat. It was true that when the party came around, Kendall, James, and Carlos did their best to convince Logan that the party would be awesome and that they all needed to celebrate their success. "Ye- I-I...I di-" Kendall stammered. He couldn't finish any word. His mind was whirling too much.

"Did you?" she asked again.

Kendall's eyes watered up. "Y-yes."

"And you were driving. You probably saw the drunk didn't you?" she asked.

"Joanna," Alexander spoke up again. "Stop. Don't do that to him." He turned to Kendall. "Kendall, you don't have to say anything. Let's just all calm down."

"Y-yes," Kendall answered Joanna, his voice cracking, not hearing anything Alexander was saying.

"Yet you didn't do anything to protect my son," Joanna concluded.

Kendall gasped. "N-no. I did! I tried avoiding him! I did! It was raining, and he was so fast I-I..."Kendall stopped when he began sobbing. "I-I tried. I'm sorry. I-I'm sorry. I tried."

"Not hard enough," Joanna said in a dark tone. "Logan's hurt because of your carelessness," Joanna said. "And sorry isn't going to heal his injuries, will it?"

"Kendall," Alexander said. "She doesn't mean that. She's just not in the right state of mind now."

"Shut up, Alex!" Joanna yelled. "It's his fault and you know it!" she looked to Kendall, who flinched at the harshness of her words. "And once our son gets better, he's coming back home to Minnesota."

Kendall's head was spinning. He was getting dizzy, and breathing became difficult. Before his legs could collapse on him, he ran out the room, headed for nowhere in particular. Just any place where no one would find him.

* * *

**So...did anyone see that coming? XD Was Logan's mama too evil and OOC?  
**

**What do ya think of this chapter?  
**


	10. Dreams

**We reached 150 reviews *cheer* Hooray! *confetti* Thank you so much :D  
**

**Well I wanted to update another one of my stories today, but had writer's block and somehow managed to update this one instead.  
**

**My goal for this story is to have a chapter that's at least 3K words. Can you believe that I was only able to type up 2,939? *sigh* well at least I'm getting there.**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Warning: Extreme angst, bromance, and zombies  
**

* * *

James and Carlos finally returned from the hospital cafeteria. They had taken longer than expected, because Carlos couldn't decide whether he wanted cookies or brownies for his "dessert". Eventually he chose the brownies, and the two boys walked back to Logan's room with a couple of sandwiches, popcorn chicken, sodas, and brownies.

As soon as they walked in the room, they knew something was missing. "Where's Kendall?" Carlos asked Logan's parents. He didn't want to eat all this popcorn chicken by himself.

Alexander stayed silent. He didn't know where Kendall went to, but he didn't want to bring up the reason of _why _the blonde boy left.

He finally shrugged. "I'm not sure," he answered.

"He said something about getting some fresh air," Joanna cut in, a sweet smile on her face, as if the monster that came out earlier that day didn't exist.

"Oh," Carlos said with a shrug. Kendall hated hospitals. It was just a hate Kendall developed when they were all young children, so Joanna's answer wasn't strange to James and Carlos one bit. "Okay." Carlos said as he turned to his tall friend. "James. You want some chicken? Sixteen pieces, bro!"

James and Carlos took their seats and began ruffling through the bag, looking for the several types of dipping sauce they took from the cafeteria.

"I bet Logie's hungry," Carlos figured, even though his friend was still deep asleep. "I bet if I put this chicken under his nose he'd be able to smell the deliciousness and wake up."

Before James could stop him, Carlos tried it. He held a piece of popcorn chicken close to Logan's nose, and waited.

Logan's face twitched, but he didn't wake up. Carlos shrugged again. "That's a good sign."

James smiled. "Ever wonder what Logan dreams about?" he asked. "You know, while he's here and so deep in unconsciousness."

"He's definitely not dreaming about the accident," Alexander guessed. "Logan doesn't remember it. If he was dreaming about, surely he'd be able to recall it by now."

James nodded, seeing as how Mr. Mitchell had a point.

"Unless he _is_ dreaming it," Joanna spoke up, a sudden worry coming into her mind. "But when he's awake his mind blocks it out."

"I bet he dreams about a zombie attack!" Carlos guessed. "And there's explosions, and an evil scientist who's not evil but good. Then there are the citizens that need saving, and it's up to the evil scientist and his posse to save the world!"

James just stared at Carlos, unamused. "Logan isn't dreaming that," James said. "You had that dream last night."

"Oh yeah," Carlos said before taking another piece of chicken and popping it into his mouth.

When James saw the look of confusion worn on the Mitchells' faces, he explained it to them. "Carlos had a dream that it was the zombie apocalypse. Logan was the "evil" scientist who wasn't evil but good. The rest of us," he said, indicating himself, Carlos, and Kendall. "Worked with Logan."

Joanna smiled at the recollection of the dream, and it made her wonder, what _was _her son dreaming about?

James checked the clock on the wall. "How long has Kendall been gone?" he stood up. "I'm gonna go look for him."

"Are you sure that he doesn't want to be bothered?" Joanna asked, suddenly afraid of what were to happen if Kendall were to speak up about what had taken place.

James shook his head. "We're his best friends," James answered. "He won't mind."

"Can I come?" Carlos asked, ready to stand up also.

James shook his head. "Nah. I'm sure I'll be right back," he answered, even though he had no clue where Kendall could possibly be. "Let me know if he comes back here," he said before leaving the room.

* * *

At first, Kendall didn't go very far. He ran away, outside the hospital. Outside of the place that Logan was currently staying. The place where Kendall put him.

But Kendall ran faster as Joanna's words replayed slowly in his mind.

_"There is something wrong. It's you."_

_"Yet you didn't do anything to protect my son."_

_"Logan's hurt because of your carelessness, and sorry isn't going to heal his injuries, will it?"_

_"It's his fault and you know it!"_

Kendall no longer knew where he was. He didn't know how far he ran. He just...ran. And now, he had no idea where he was or how he could even find his way back to the hospital. His long legs had taken him to unfamiliar territory and his mind was so cloudy that he wasn't thinking straight.

He stopped at the side of an old building. He was finding it harder and harder to breathe as his back slid down against the wall. Kendall plopped down on the ground.

His vision was blurred, his heart was still racing, and his lungs felt like they were closing up. He gripped at his chest as he felt the discomfort coming from it.

It was a panic attack. He'd seen it before. That had to be what he was having now, right? Kendall moaned as he tightened his hold on his chest. He was choking on the nonexistent air right now.

It felt like his surroundings were spinning. The world was tilting.

"It's my fault, it's my fault," Kendall choked out as he cried. He felt his body wracking with each violent sob, and he knew that he needed to calm himself down before he passes out.

He was by himself in an unknown area. Who knows what were to happen to him if he were to faint.

"I'm sorry, Logan," Kendall continued to say. "I'm sorry I betrayed you. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! And I'll understand if you don't forgive me. I should have been more careful. How could I have been so stupid? Oh my gosh, Logan." Kendall began hyperventilating as realization hit. "I almost...I almost killed my best friend."

Kendall didn't know how long he sat there, crying, hugging his knees to his chest and rocking back and forth, thinking about Logan.

But he didn't care. If anything, all he could begin to think about is how much safer Logan would be without him around.

Yeah, that's it.

Logan _is _safer without Kendall. The blonde realized it quickly. If it hadn't been for him, Logan would be at the studio right now, flinching every time Gustavo yelled at them as he called them idiots.

Who's the idiot now?

Kendall felt his body begin to weaken. The last thing he heard was the sound of his phone ringing before his eyes drooped closed and he welcomed the blackness.

* * *

When James left Logan's room, he didn't know where to go. He decided to go check the restroom, thinking Kendall was probably there throwing up or something.

But James' shoulder slumped when he realized that Kendall wasn't there.

He pulled out his phone and called Kendall's cell, only for it to eventually go to voice mail.

So James decided that wandering around the hospital would eventually find his friend.

But James got bored after five minutes.

"Excuse me," he said to one nurse who was walking by. "I'm looking for someone. My friend. Have you seen a blonde? Real skinny. Has green eyes and really thick eyebrows?"

The nurse shook her head. "Sorry," she said.

"Well...thanks anyway," he said before leaving to look around some more. He began asking more people. Hospital staff. Random family members of other patients.

"Excuse me!" he called out when he saw a man that looked like the janitor walk by. James ran up behind him. "Excuse me sir, but-"

The man cut him off. "I cleaned those rooms good. If you have a complaint, take it up with Doctor Ferguson."

James gave the man a confused look before coming out of his stupor to ask his question. "Uh, listen sir. I'm looking for my friend. He's blond. Tall and skinny. Has green eyes and bushy eyebrows."

The man's eyebrows went up. "I think I know who you're talking about," he said as he tried to think.

"Really?" James asked.

"Well yeah," the man answered. "I didn't see his eyes, but a tall, skinny blonde boy ran past me about twenty minutes ago. Crying his eyes out."

James couldn't help but think that that definitely sounded like Kendall. "Do you know which way he went?"

"I saw him run out the doors," the janitor answered. "You're friend's not in this hospital anymore, I can tell you that."

"Thanks," he said as he started running out of the hospital.

Now the question was, where would Kendall even go?

James moaned. This is going to take forever.

* * *

Logan's body jerked as he woke up, a sad and scared look on his face. He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to steady his breathing.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Joanna asked her son, who seemed to have turned several shades lighter as he looked around the room.

Carlos grabbed Logan's whiteboard and, which was on a table close to Logan's bed, and handed him the tools.

Logan's panicked features didn't disappear as he began to scribble a question onto the whiteboard with his shaky hand.

_Where's Kendall?_

"He stepped out," Alexander answered, noticing his wife's facial expression turn dark. "And James is out with him. What's wrong, son?"

Logan sighed in relief._ Thank God. I think I had a bad dream, _he wrote down.

"Was it about the accident?" Carlos asked, not knowing whether he should be happy or sad about Logan recollecting the accident.

Logan shook his head.

"Do you want to talk about it, son?" Alexander asked.

Logan shook his head once again. Kendall died in his dream and that was something that he really did not want to think about.

"Maybe you should go back to sleep, buddy," Carlos suggested as he gently placed his hand on Logan's shoulder.

Logan shook his head. Sleep escaped him now. He couldn't bring himself to close his eyes. The dream was too vivid. Too real. And Logan was afraid that if he were to try to sleep again, he'd be reliving the nightmare.

* * *

Sadly, Logan wasn't the only one dreaming.

_Kendall woke up. He, in the driver's seat, felt the car was on its side. It was dark, raining, and Kendall had to admit that he was really scared. _

_"James? Carlos? Logan? Is everyone okay?" Kendall asked weakly. He ignored the pain in his head to make sure that his best friends were unharmed.  
_

_He was scared when he got no answer. Instead, he could hear a strange sobbing noise coming from the backseat. He strained his neck to look around the car. James and Carlos were awake, looking at a disturbing sight.  
_

_Logan's unmoving, bloody, mangled body.  
_

_Kendall's mouth hung open in shock. "L-Log-"  
_

_"He's dead," Kendall heard Carlos say in a dark way that didn't resemble the innocent Latino at all. Carlos looked to Kendall, his sobbing and crying ceased when he took a good look at the disgusting blonde. "He's dead. And it's your fault."  
_

_"He warned you that the car was coming," James said, his voice equally dark. "He told you to watch out and be careful but you ignored that. And now he's dead because of your stupidity, Kendall! You should be dead. Not him."  
_

_Kendall was shaking and crying. "I'm sorry. I-"  
_

_"Sorry doesn't bring him back," Carlos said. "He's dead because of you."  
_

_Kendall shook his head, ignoring the intense pain coming from it. "I-I didn't...No! I didn't kill him!"  
_

_"Shut up Kendall!" James yelled. "Can you just admit your mistakes just for once?" Kendall jumped at the anger coming from James' voice. "You killed Logan. And we're gonna let you forget that."  
_

That dream played sadistically in Kendall's head. The sleeping blonde squirmed in his horrid sleep, unable to open his eyes. This was part of his punishment, he assumed.

Though no matter how much he begged, his stubborn mind wouldn't let him escape the nightmare yet. He deserved it. Every last bit of it.

Fat tears rolled down his face as his dream started over again. He whimpered as the scene played before him once again.

He couldn't take it anymore but he couldn't wake up either. His stubborn mind just wouldn't allow it. He felt his chest tighten once again. He couldn't breathe once again. He was alone, stuck in the dark holes of his mind. And Kendall could swear that he was going to die soon.

Until he felt large arms wrap around his trembling body. He tried to fight whoever, or whatever it was, but he was too weak. Too weak. He couldn't even fight correctly anymore. Kendall's fear increased. He wanted to scream, "LET ME GO!" to the monster that was holding him down and prohibiting his movements.

This was it. It was going to kill him.

But instead, the arms tightened their grip around him until he could no longer move. All he could do was continue to cry, even in his slumber.

He heard someone whispering something in his ear.

Whatever was holding him down wasn't going to hurt him.

The voice kept whispering words of comfort. Kendall could feel his body rocking back and forth.

Kendall could do nothing but relax. His body became loose, and he allowed whatever, or whoever, to hold him.

The voice came again, begging him to come out of the darkness and into the light. The voice begged him to leave the dangerous zone that laid in his mind. The voice begged him to come back to reality. The voice was desperately calling him.

And Kendall wasn't scared at this point. He felt secure.

* * *

James was scared. He couldn't find Kendall.

James didn't want Kendall to ever be by himself given the harsh circumstances they have been enduring. Who knows what Kendall would do to himself now that he was alone.

He wanted to call Mrs. Knight, but decided against it. He didn't want the worried mother to worry even more. She'd been through enough as it is.

James decided to think like Kendall.

Where would his friend go if he had something weighing him down, but was still close because he had no car?

James looked around before shrugging and picking a direction to start running. He prayed that he wasn't wrong. He usually wasn't when it came to finding where Kendall was.

James called Kendall's cell phone again. Still no answer, so James sighed in defeat and shoved his phone back into his pocket.

He didn't know how far he went, but when he heard whimpering, something told him to stop.

So he did. And boy is he glad he did.

"K-Kendall," James breathed out in relief. His relief floated away when he saw the vulnerable state that his friend was in.

Kendall was curled up against the wall. Tears rolling down his red face. His body was shaking uncontrollably, and the whimpering coming from Kendall only worried James more.

James quickly got on his knees, wanting to be by Kendall's side to comfort him as much as possible.

James brought his arms out to pull Kendall into a comforting hug. He barely touched the blonde before Kendall started thrashing, trying to fight away whoever wanted to hurt him.

"It's okay, buddy," James said in a soft, kind voice as he tightened his embrace.

James' heart broke at the sound of Kendall whimpering again. He could tell that the blonde was too tired to fight anymore. Kendall's body went limp, but tears still fell from his closed eyes.

"Buddy? It's me. James," the brunette said. "You're okay. I'm here, okay? Just calm down and relax." James started gently rocking, and a small smile of satisfaction appeared on James' face when he realized that Kendall was beginning to calm down.

James ran his fingers through Kendall's sweaty hair. "That's it buddy," James continued to speak, not sure if Kendall could hear him or not. "I'm here now. You're safe whenever you're with me." James used his thumb to wipe off some of the tears from Kendall's face.

"Wake up, Kendall," James begged. "Please wake up. I don't know if you're having a bad dream but I know that you're scared for a reason. Please wake right now and I promise that I'll help you."

James sighed when he felt Kendall's body completely slacken. The tears stopped as well, and Kendall's breathing had become regular again.

Kendall, being the hard headed blonde that he was, ignored James' pleas. He was in a peaceful sleep now. A sleep deeper than the one James was trying to pull him out of. One without nightmares or angry and dead friends.

He was a deep, dreamless slumber.

And to him, it felt so good.

* * *

**This chapter reminded me of two other stories I wrote. The first one is Bloodline, and I have a chapter called "Carrots and Brownies" and the Carlos moment just brought back good memories *sigh* Then the second one is my one shot It's Hard For Me to Say I'm Sorry. Yeah...Kames addict...**

**So what didja think?  
**


	11. Kendall

**So here's a...dare I say it...filler chapter *vomits* But I hope you like this chapter regardless because something tells me that you're gonna REALLY hate me for the next chapter :P**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_So Kendall isn't coming back? _Logan wrote on his white board. He tried to hide the sadness that he currently felt but knew that he was failing.

Carlos nodded. "He's just really tired," he said, based on what James had texted him. "But don't worry! James is taking care of him and making sure he's okay." He flashed a huge smile, which helped Logan relax a bit.

_That's why I don't like it when you guys stress over me like that, _Logan wrote. _You guys forget to take care of yourselves. If you keep doing that, I won't be the only one in a hospital bed.  
__  
_"Your friends do that because they care," Alexander said in a kind voice. "And they know that you'd do the same."

When Carlos nodded with a smile on his face, Logan blushed.

_I wish I was at home._

Joanna and Alexander tensed at Logan's written statement. They knew that by "home", Logan was talking about the Palm Woods, and not Minnesota.

"I wish you were too," Carlos said, his voice getting softer. "But when you come back, we're gonna have tons of fun!"

Joanna chuckled. "But not too much," she warned with a playful smile. "He'll still need to recover even after he leaves the hospital." _Not to mention pack his things._

"Of course not," Carlos said. "Because when Logie _does _come home, we'll be watching him like a hawk," he threatened as he glared at Logan to give him a more intimidating manner. "We'll make sure nothing bad happens to you." Carlos' face had become soft again.

Logan coughed into the crook of his arm. _I don't know which is worse, _he wrote. _The broken bones or __the pneumonia. _

Joanna felt her son's warm forehead. "We'll just give this pneumonia one day at a time, okay sweetie?" she said as she messed with Logan's hair.

Logan smiled and nodded. _I know. But I really hate it. It makes my chest hurt. The only time I don't feel the pain is when I'm asleep._

Carlos looked to the ground. The thought of his friend so helplessly in pain, just killed Carlos. "It'll be okay, Logie," Carlos said, in hopes of reassuring Logan as well as himself. "You'll get better soon."

_Even after my trachea heals, do you think I'll be able to really sing again?_ Logan wrote to Carlos. He looked up to his Latino friend in hopes of an answer. In hopes of a positive answer.

Carlos felt the pressure. The more he looked into Logan's sad eyes, the more afraid he got.

Thankfully, Carlos was spared when Logan's door opened. Mama Knight and Katie walked in.

"How's our boy doing?" Jennifer asked, even though it had only been an hour since she had last seen Logan.

Logan smiled.

Katie approached him and grabbed his sweaty hand. "We made a stop," she announced. "We got a little something for you." She pulled out something from her front pocket. "Mom and I saw it and we couldn't help but think about you." She opened her fist, revealing a chain bracelet. On the bracelet, was a charm in the form of the letter L.

Logan smiled in gratitude as he allowed Katie to put it on his right wrist. The wrist of the arm that _wasn't _in a cast.

"It fits perfectly," Mama Knight said.

"Where's Kendall and James?" Katie asked, realizing that someone was missing.

Joanna and Alexander looked at each other. After a while, they hadn't even thought of Kendall.

"Well, Kendall was pretty tired," Carlos began. "So James took him back to the apartment."

"But I had the car," Jennifer said. "How did they get home?"

"Cab," Carlos answered in a whisper, fearing that Mama Knight would be upset with that answer.

"Okay," she breathed out. "I'll call them to make sure they're okay."

* * *

Kendall groaned as his eyes slowly parted open. His head was pounding, and he just didn't feel good at all.

Not to mention the fact that he was extremely confused.

The last thing he remembered was being in the hospital with Logan and his parents. Logan's hateful, angry parents. So why was he back at apartment 2J?

"Hey," he head a deep voice say. Kendall turned his head a little bit to see James, looking into Kendall's confused green eyes.

Kendall looked around some more. He turned back to James. "What...How did-"

"Is there something you want to tell me?" James asked, his voice serious as he kept looking at Kendall dead in the eyes.

"What do you mean?" Kendall asked as he sat up. "James. What happened? How did I get here?"

When James saw Kendall begin to panic, he cut in. "Kendall. I found you passed out behind an old building that was almost a mile away from the hospital," James answered. "What happened?"

Kendall looked down. What James had just said sounded familiar, but Kendall honestly couldn't remember doing that. "Nothing," he said, his eyes focused on his fingers. "I was just a little tired." Kendall mentally berated himself for coming up with a lie as bad as that one.

James scoffed, completely unamused. "Tired?" he asked. "That's what your excuse is? That you were tired. Not only were you found passed out a mile away from the hospital, but you were also crying! Crying in your sleep! So tell me what happened!"

Kendall's eyes widened. He felt fear, something he never felt when James was around. What would happen if he told James what really went on? "I-I swear nothing happened." He just couldn't bring himself to tell the truth. How could he? How could he tell James that Logan's mother hated him with a passion? That she blamed Kendall for this whole thing? That she wanted Logan to move back to Minnesota?

"You broke down, Kendall," James reminded him. "And I wanna know why."

"I don't know, okay?" Kendall answered, his volume raising. "It just happened and I...I don't know how to explain it," he said, though he _did _know what happened and he _could _explain it. He just didn't want to.

"You're lying," James accused.

"No," Kendall breathed out while shaking his head. "I'm not lying I just...I just didn't wanna be there at that time."

James sighed, seeing as how he knew that a straight answer from Kendall wasn't going to come anytime soon.

"How long have I been asleep?" Kendall asked.

"We got here about three hours ago," James shrugged. "So add to the time you left the hospital and...yeah."

Kendall's eyes widened.

James sighed. "Don't ever do something like that again, Kendall," James commanded. "You could have been lost...or hurt...What if I hadn't found you? Did you not think about any of that?"

Kendall shook his head. "I-I'm sorry, James," he replied. "I wasn't thinking about that. I wasn't thinking at all, I just..." he trailed off when James got closer and enveloped him in a hug.

"It's okay, Kendall," James reassured. "Just please don't ever do that again. You don't know what was going through my head and I was really scared that something bad was happening to you."

Kendall nodded after James released him. "Where's Carlos? And Mom and Katie?" he asked after he realized that he and James were the only one in the apartment.

"Still at the hospital," James answered. "And no, I haven't told any of them about this," James added when he saw Kendall open his mouth to ask a question.

Kendall closed his mouth after James read his mind, but decided to ask another question. "Can we keep it like that?" he asked. "Can they _not_ know about what happened?"

James hesitated, but eventually nodded. "I took you home in a cab," he said. "I told Carlos that I was taking you home because you were more tired than you thought and I demanded that you stay home."

Kendall smiled in appreciation. "Thanks James."

James nodded as he rose from his seated position. "Why don't you keep resting?" he offered, hoping to rid of the worry that continued to float in his mind. "I'll find you something to snack on."

James hated the fact that he just made a promise like that. Kendall's mother needed to know what happened, but at the same time, Kendall practically begged for him not to speak about it.

As the days lagged on, James began to wish more and more that he had broken his promise to Kendall and had just spoken up.

* * *

Kendall spent the next few days trying to put himself back together. Logan needed him, and Kendall had to remember that. But the more Kendall tried to fix himself, the more he broke.

James was the first to figure out that something was wrong. Carlos was next. And they were both worried about Kendall's well being.

One morning, everyone made their daily trip from apartment 2J to the hospital. Everyone rode in Mama Knight's van, including the Mitchells, who were still crashing with them at the Palm Woods.

Being confined in the same, small place as Joanna made Kendall nervous. His hands were shaking, and he could feel his heart rate increasing.

"Hey Kendall," Carlos whispered. "Are you okay?"

Kendall quickly nodded. "Yeah, buddy," he simply answered. "I'm okay."

Carlos sighed. He didn't even know why he tried anymore. Recently, anytime he or James or anybody asked Kendall if he was okay or if there was something wrong, Kendall would shrug it off and reply with a quick "I'm fine".

But it was obvious to them that Kendall was lying. The way he seemed so tense around everybody. The way he acted nervously around Logan's parents. It just wasn't like him.

Finally, their van pulled into the hospital. Everyone piled out, heading straight for Logan's room.

Logan's face lit up at the sight of everyone walking in.

_Hi Kendall, _Logan wrote on his precious whiteboard when everyone had finally arrived at the hospital. _I haven't been seeing you for the past few days and I've been worried. Are you okay?_

Kendall looked into Logan's worried brown eyes. "I've been coming," he finally said. "You've just always been asleep."

What Kendall _didn't_ want to say, was that out of the five days that had passed, he'd only come twice. The two times Kendall came, Logan was asleep. So technically it wasn't a lie. The three other days, Kendall wanted to come. He really did. But then Joanna would glare at him with angry eyes. She'd mutter things under her breath that no one else could hear. Well, except Kendall, of course, because all of her angry words were about him.

_Has Kendall been sick?_ Logan asked via whiteboard, seeing the tired expression worn on Kendall's face.

Joanna opened her mouth, but was unintentionally interrupted by James.

"Just a little bit," James quickly answered. He looked to his blonde friend before turning back to Logan. "But he's feeling better now, so he'll be coming to visit everyday like we always do." James flashed a smile.

Kendall felt his heart drop. How could James make a promise like that?

Everyone winced at the sound of Logan's harsh coughs.

"Are you sure you're okay, sweetie?" Joanna asked, gently messing with her son's hair.

Logan nodded before coughing again.

"Lemme get you some water, Logan," Kendall offered, about to take action.

"I got it," Joanna said quickly, glaring at Kendall. She was fast in getting some water for Logan. "Here sweetie," she said with a soft voice. "Drink this, okay? But slowly."

Logan nodded before he allowed his mother to bring the liquid to his lips. He wanted to tell his mom that he was perfectly capable of drinking his own water, but decided against it. His mom wasn't given the opportunity to baby him that much anymore.

Kendall shrunk back when he heard Joanna speak. She didn't even trust the poor blonde in getting her son a drink.

"Kendall," Katie said in a small voice, breaking Kendall from his thoughts.

Kendall could tell that Katie was worried, so he flashed a small smile to reassure her.

James and Carlos noticed Katie's concern and glanced at each other, also in worry. They were highly debating how they should handle this situation. Logan was getting better now, and though they were still worried about him, they were also very worried about Kendall. The blonde was hiding something, and they just didn't know what to do about it.

But they knew one thing. They just couldn't wait around and watch Kendall slowly deteriorate.

* * *

**Okay! There it is! I promised me Common Law readers that I would update...and then I updated this instead :P So I'm off to update my CL story**

**So what didja think?**


	12. So Close Yet So Far

**I almost DIDN'T update today :P But after thinking about all of your amazing reviews, I couldn't help myself. Thank you, awesome people.**

**You know how in the last chapter's A/N I warned all of you that you might hate me for this chapter? Yeah well...warning still stands...for this chapter and the next XP  
**

**Shorter chapter :( but enjoy! :D  
**

* * *

It was 2:30 in the morning. Apartment 2J was completely silent. Everyone was deep in sleep as they should be. Well, except for two people.

Kendall was the first to wake up from his deep sleep, hit with an intense thirst after having a bit of a nightmare. He climbed out of bed, glad that he didn't wake up James and Carlos, who he was forced to share a room with for the time being, and headed straight to the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water.

He sat on a chair at the dining table as he slowly took sips from his glass. He sighed in relief, ready to head back to bed.

Until he heard the sound of a door opening and closing. Kendall froze when he realized who had entered the kitchen.

Kendall swallowed the lump in his throat. "H-hi, Mrs. Mitchell," he choked out. He started to leave the kitchen, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"Heading to sleep, already?" she asked, making Kendall stop. She pulled out a glass from the cupboard, also thirsty for a drink.

"Yeah," Kendall answered simply. "I, um, only woke up to get some water."

"My husband and I wanted the to spend the whole day with Logan," Mrs. Mitchell stated. "I was wondering if you and the boys could stay home this time around?" Mrs. Mitchell sighed.

Kendall's eyes widened. "All day? Can we spend just an hour with him?" he asked, his shoulders slumping. "I mean, James promised that we'd come see him everyday and I wouldn't be a good friend if I broke that promise."

Joanna scoffed, shaking her head. "A good friend wouldn't put his friend in the hospital."

Kendall mentally slapped himself. How he didn't see that coming from her was beyond him.

"No," Kendall responded with a firm voice. "Don't. Try it," he warned while pointing a finger at her. "I wasn't drunk. I was driving carefully. And I care a lot about Logan! You can't blame this on me!"

"Yes I can," Joanna replied with a voice just as strong. "That's nice that you're trying to make yourself feel better about this whole thing. But the truth still stands. My Logan wouldn't be in the hospital if it weren't for you."

Kendall sighed and rolled his eyes. "Do you not remember the part of the story where we were hit by a drunk driver?" he asked, his volume a bit louder than he intended.

"Let me remind you of something," Joanna said. "When you boys were fourteen, Logan comes home after playing hockey with you. He had bruises everywhere and a cut on his head. Do you remember how that happened?"

Kendall remained silent. His mouth hung open as he tried to find his voice. He _did _remember. He just couldn't admit it.

"I'll remind you," Joanna said when she realized that Kendall wasn't going to talk anytime soon. "You had taken him to a hockey game at the pond. Seniors were there but that didn't stop you."

"I know," Kendall finally spoke up. "But _they_ checked him and-"

"Yeah," Joanna cut him off. "They checked him because you took him there and you were too busy trying to protect yourself that you didn't think about my son."

"No it wasn't like that!" Kendall defended. "You weren't there then and you weren't there for the car accident! In the car, all I could think about was Logan, James, and Carlos. I love them and I would always put their safety before my own!" He sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"If you think that you had no hand in putting my son in that hospital bed," Joanna began, putting on a threatening demeanor. "Then you're dumber than I thought. My son almost died. He had a twenty percent chance of living and it's a miracle that he survived but he did, no thanks to you."

Kendall clenched his fists, trying hold back from acting on the anger that was now building up inside of him. "Wh-what if it were me?" Kendall finally choked out, running out of words to say.

"What?" Joanna asked, honestly confused.

"What if Logan were driving?" Kendall elaborated. He felt tears forming but he couldn't let them fall. "And I was the one that ending up almost dying. How would you feel if my mom talked to Logan the way you were talking to me?"

"At least I know that you're in the hospital bed and not Logan," she responded with all conviction. "And you know why I know your mom would never do that? Because Logan has _never _gotten you into any trouble."

With that, she left the kitchen, her wanted glass of water forgotten.

Kendall watched with his mouth hanging open. All of Joanna's words stinging his heart more and more. And finally, Kendall let the tears fall.

* * *

"Hey, sweetie," Joanna said to Logan. "How are you doing?"

Logan smiled as he answered his mother with his whiteboard. _A little better. I'm still really tired but my chest and throat don't hurt that much anymore and I haven't been coughing.  
_

"That's wonderful, Logan," Alexander said as he brought a hand to Logan's forehead. His son's fever was gone, and that brought a smile to Alexander's face.

Logan looked to the door. _Where are the guys? They said they'd come._

"I know, honey," Joanna replied. "But I told them to stay home today." She looked to Alexander, then back to Logan. "The two of us wanted to spend all day with you."

_I'm surprised that none of you have gotten bored with me, _Logan wrote. _I always fall asleep._

Joanna gripped Logan's hand. "No one would get bored with you," she said. "Everyone loves you and it's not your fault that you're always tired."  
_  
But you and everybody else are so worried about me because of how tired I always am. I don't like that._

"That's true," Alexander said. "We _are _worried about you always being so tired. But don't you think we'd be even more worried if you weren't getting this much sleep?" he asked as he ran his fingers through Logan's hair. "You're still healing so the more sleep the better." He flashed a smile when Logan lifted up his head to look at him.

Logan looked back to his whiteboard to start writing again. _Thanks Dad. I guess you're right._

"I'm always right, son," Alexander joked.

Logan's expression turned serious. He paused, debating whether or not he should write what he was feeling. But finally, he brought his marker down and started writing again. _I'm worried too._

Joanna's eyes perked up. "Why, Logan?" she asked. "Is it because of your voice?" she squeezed her son's hand. "Don't worry honey. You'll get it back. The doctors said that it'll take a while but you're healing nicely. Right now, it's just a waiting game."

Logan smiled, but then shook his head. _Thanks but not about that. It's Kendall. I think something's really wrong with him and he won't tell me because he doesn't want me to worry._

Alexander sighed at Logan's concern. He noticed that something was wrong with Kendall too, and he wasn't even sure that Joanna noticed...or if she cared to notice.

"I'm sure James and Carlos are taking care of him," Alexander finally said, even though he really didn't know what to say to reassure Logan.

Logan sighed. _But I know Kendall. Whenever something's wrong, he doesn't tell us. It really scares me because sometimes, he can't handle it. What could be wrong with him? I know I'm in a hospital bed but if I knew what was wrong I'd do everything I could to make him feel better._

Alexander and Joanna squinted their eyes to read Logan's small handwriting.

Alexander looked to Joanna, hoping to evoke some kind of emotion out of her.

Joanna sighed, and Alexander thought that he had succeeded, until she began talking. "Logan. There's something that your father and I need to tell you."

Logan's eyes widened. _Is it about Kendall? _he quickly scribbled down.

"Not...exactly," Joanna responded. She looked into her son's eager eyes and just came out with it. "But Logan. We want you to come back to Minnesota."

And that was DEFINITELY not what Alexander wanted Joanna to say.

* * *

"I can't believe Mr and Mrs Mitchell wanted Logie all to themselves today," Carlos whined as he crossed his arms over his chest.

James chuckled. "C'mon, Carlos," he said. "You don't mean that. Logan is their son that they barely see anymore. They deserve it."

Carlos shrugged. "Yeah but...I still wanted to see him."

"Don't worry, Carlos," James said as he wrapped his long arm around the pouting Latino. "We'll spend all day with him tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Carlos replied in defeat.

AT that moment, Jennifer and Katie walked into the apartment with bags in their hands. James and Carlos immediately knew that they had spent their morning shopping.

"Good afternoon, boys," Jennifer greeted.

"Afternoon, Mama Knight," James and Carlos replied in unison.

Once she made sure that the boys were okay, she went into her bedroom, desperate to catch up on some much deserved rest.

Katie took a seat next to James. "Hey Katie," he said to her. "Mama Knight that tired?" he asked in genuine concern.

"Hi," she said as she dug into a bag that she was holding. She nodded. "She almost fell asleep behind the wheel." When Katie found what she was looking for, she smiled. "Remember how I got that bracelet for Logan a few days ago?"

James nodded, remembering how happy he was when Logan's face lit up after Katie first presented it to him.

Katie pulled out three chain bracelets from her bag. "I got some for you guys too," she announced as she handed James and Carlos bracelets that had a C and a J dangling from them.

Thanks, Katie!" Carlos said as he grabbed the bracelet and eagerly put it on. He looked at it with much appreciation before sending a smile her way.

James wrapped an arm around her skinny shoulders.

"Where's Kendall?" Katie asked as she looked around the living. "I got one for him too."

James sighed. "He's in the bedroom. He...he said he wanted to be left alone." James thought back to earlier that day. Kendall barely spoke all day. His usually vibrant green eyes were dull and lifeless. He didn't even eat breakfast _or _lunch.

Katie stood up. "Well I won't let that happen right now." She started walking away from them. "I'm gonna give this to him," she announced, hoping with all her heart that her older brother would just let her in for once.

"Think Kendall will like it?" Carlos asked once Katie had left the room.

James chuckled. "Kendall would like _anything_ as long as it's from Katie," he replied with a smile.

Carlos stood up. "Well then I don't know about you," he said to James with a smirk. "But I wanna see how Kendall reacts to said gift." All Carlos wanted to see was a smile. A big smile from their blonde leader.

James shrugged and stood off the couch. "Then let's go," he said and the two of them began walking to their destination.

But their walking soon broke into running when they heard Katie scream.

* * *

***nervous laugh* ahem...so yeah...Joanna's still mean...but hey, at least ALL the boys got bracelets now! **

**Let's get a hang down low on the snip snap! So you wanna review, please?  
**


	13. Taking the News

**I have SOOOOO many happy things to say regarding this story. For one thing, It now has over 200 reviews. That makes me super happy. Another thing. This story also has over 100 followers *squeal*. And one more thing. The last chapter received 31 reviews. THIRTY-FRICKKIN'-ONE! I've never gotten that many reviews for just one chapter before.**

**So anyway, what I wanna say is thank you so much! Like, for real! I love the support all of you are showing for this story.  
**

**Okay, I know I scared all of you guys with the last cliffhanger...I'm sorry.  
**

**But here's the next (short) chapter. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

At first, Logan had no reaction. Just an unreadable expression etched on his face as he tried to process what his mother had just told him.

It's a good thing Logan was forced to depend on his whiteboard, because Logan could feel his throat getting dry and he knew that under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have been able to talk anyway.

Finally, Logan used his shaky hand to write down one word.

_What?_

Logan looked at his parents, desperate for an answer. Desperate for an answer that he would approve of.

Alexander sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Joanna," he said in a stern voice. "Now's not a good time," he warned, remembering that not only Logan was still in a very fragile state, but also due to the fact that Joanna and Alexander hadn't discussed the issue together. They clearly had differing opinions.

Logan's eyes started watering up. And at that moment, he wished he had his voice. He wished he could yell and scream or do anything to make his parents change their minds.

"Logan," Alexander said in a soft voice. "It's not a decision set in stone." Alexander glared at Joanna for a moment before looking back at his son with a gentle expression. "So I don't want you to worry, okay?" Alexander reassured as he cupped Logan's face in his hand.

Logan almost nodded, but his mother's voice stopped him from completing that action.

"But it's more than likely to happen," Joanna suddenly said.

Logan gasped, allowing a few tears to fall from his face. He couldn't leave LA. He couldn't leave his best friends. He couldn't leave Mama Knight and Katie. And he definitely couldn't leave Camille.

Alexander used his thumb to wipe away Logan's tears. He stared into his son's scared eyes, but addressed his wife. "Joanna. Stop it. Now."

"No," Joanna replied. "I don't want Logan getting his hopes up thinking that after he leaves the hospital, he's staying in LA. We need to think realistically, here."

Logan started writing furiously. _YOU'RE not thinking realistically. Did you really think that I would be so willing to go back to Minnesota? __What about what I want?_

Joanna smiled. "We just want what's best for you, sweetie."

_Did you think about the possibility that what I want is also what's best for me?  
_  
"Like I said, Logan," Alexander cut in before Joanna responded. "It's not a decision set in stone. Don't worry, son. Okay?" Alexander let a small smile appear on his face, in hopes of calming his son down a bit.

_I can't betray the guys and break up the band, _Logan wrote, addressing his mother.

"We know, honey," Joanna replied. "But LA isn't as safe as Minnesota. Besides, all of your old friends are still back there. Remember Bryan and Mark?"

Logan started crying harder at the mention of those two names. _I can't go back to Minnesota,_ Logan wrote. What his parents didn't know, was that Bryan and Mark weren't real friends. They betrayed him. Kendall, James, and Carlos were the only real friends Logan had. He couldn't leave them, not after everything they had been through together.

_I don't want Bryan and Mark! I belong here now! With the guys!_

Joanna sighed. "I realize that this news is a bit of a shock for you," she said. _  
_  
Logan began writing quickly, trying to control the swirling of emotions that he felt. _This isn't shock! It's anger._

Joanna sighed. "I'm sorry Logan, but-"

"Joanna," Alexander finally cut in. "Logan doesn't need this right now. Just stop talking about Minnesota for the time being."

Logan looked to his right, the stuffed dog sat on a table, staring at Logan with happy eyes and a smile. At that moment, all Logan could think about were Carlos, James, and Kendall.

Logan began writing when his mother sighed and said his name.

_I have nothing else to say and I don't want to hear anything else. I just wanna sleep, _Logan wrote. He snuggled into his blankets and closed his eyes before his parents had any room to argue further. Logan didn't fall asleep. He couldn't sleep. But if faking sleep meant he wouldn't have to hear any nonsense from his parents, then that's what he would do.

* * *

Katie rose from the couch, eager to give Kendall his gift. She prayed that Kendall would cheer up, even just a little. Katie just wanted her brother back.

She knocked on the door. "Kendall," she said. "It's me. Can I come in?" When she received no answer, she knocked again. "K-Kendall?" she asked again, feeling a bit worried. She really wanted to believe that Kendall had just fallen asleep.

Katie slowly opened the door, and the next thing she knew, she screamed louder than she thought was possible.

"Kendall!" she yelled as she ran up to her brother, who was violently convulsing on his bed.

It didn't take long for Katie to see that Kendall was having a seizure. Katie froze. Kendall never had seizures so she knew something is really wrong with him.

James and Carlos suddenly barged in, and they didn't need to ask what was wrong.

Carlos gasped, and James snapped out of his stupor to take action. He quickly made his way over to Kendall and knelt down next to the bed. "Call 911!" he yelled at no one in particular.

At first, James was afraid that no one heard him. But then he heard Carlos yelling, "HELP! PLEASE! MY FRIEND! I THINK...I THINK HE'S HAVING A SEIZURE!"

James heart broke as he cried, Katie cried, and Carlos cried. But what broke his heart the most was Mrs. Knight waking up and hearing the commotion. When she walked into the room, she gasped. She was completely still at first before she made her way to Kendall, yelling and telling her son to hold on because help was on the way.

Carlos just wanted to close off his eyes and ears from everything going on. He could hear Kendall making strange grunting noises as he shook. His eyes were open, but all you could see was white because Kendall's eyes had rolled to the back of his head.

Then suddenly, the seizure stopped.

And Katie was sure that Kendall was dead.

"Kendall!" Katie yelled as she grabbed him by the shoulders and started shaking him roughly. "Kendall! Wake up!"

James grabbed Katie and held her close. He didn't want Katie hurting Kendall anymore than he already was.

"Where's that ambulance?" Mrs. Knight yelled through her tears.

"K-Kendall?" Carlos whispered. "Please wake up." Carlos began sobbing even harder, because he knew that his begging and pleading wasn't helping Kendall at all.

* * *

"Logan," Alexander said to his son once Joanna had left the room to pick up some food. "I know you're still awake."

Logan slowly opened his eyes in response to his father's accusation. Sometimes, Alexander's ability to know everything annoyed Logan.

Alexander smiled when Logan looked at him. "Son," Alexander said as he used both his hands to hold Logan's hand. "The decision to move back to Minnesota is only yours. You know how your mother reacts when something bad happens to you. She loves you, she just shows it in extreme ways."

Logan sat up a bit before grabbing his whiteboard from off the table.

_I don't wanna go back and Mom's not listening. _

"I know," Alexander replied. "But I'll make sure that she does, okay?"

Logan hesitated before nodding. His father always kept his word. Why should he start doubting him now?

"Here's another thing," Alexander spoke up, grabbing Logan's stuffed dog and handing it to him. He watched as Logan gripped the animal like it was his life line. "Do you want to tell me about Bryan and Mark?"

Logan shook his head before placing his stuffed dog next to him and writing a simple response. _Nothing to say._

"Nothing to say?" Alexander asked. "Because the way you reacted to the mention of them says differently." Logan looked down, but Alexander used his index finger to raise Logan's chin so that the two of them were eye to eye.

Logan shook his head again. _They're just not real friends. Never were, _Logan wrote, and Alexander allowed him to keep it at that...for now.

Alexander smiled. "I'll speak to your mother," he reassured. "I miss you, son. I really do. But you're not coming back to Minnesota unless you really want to."

Logan smiled. _Thanks Dad._

* * *

James lost track of how long they had all been sitting in the waiting room.

As he held a sobbing Katie in his arms, all he could think about was Kendall.

"It's okay, Katie," James whispered in her ear, though he couldn't believe his words either. A few tears rolled down his cheeks. "Kendall's gonna be fine." James knew that the poor girl was probably going into shock right now.

And Logan. They couldn't even think of a way they would be able to tell him. Logan was on the third floor of this very hospital. All someone had to do was get on an elevator, find his room, and break the news.

But that was all easier said than done. Everybody was having a hard time telling _themselves _that Kendall had a terrifying seizure. Actually telling someone else, especially Logan, was just too hard and would be very devastating.

Carlos, on the other, fiddled with his bracelet. He, like everybody else, hadn't stopped crying. "J-James," Carlos finally spoke up, wiping the tears from his face. "A person doesn't just...just start seizing do they?"

"Not now, Carlitos," James commanded in a pleading tone as he held Katie tighter. The last thing he wanted to talk about was Kendall's seizure.

Jennifer started rubbing Carlos' back. "He's been stressed," she acknowledged, hoping she could reassure all of them. "Stress can cause seizures."

Carlos nodded. "Then why didn't he talk to any of us?" he asked. "We coulda helped him or...something!"

"Kendall doesn't like people helping him," Katie said in a small voice. "He thinks he's strong and that we shouldn't worry about him and look where it gets him! I hate him! I hate him so much!"

James began rubbing her back. "C'mon Katie," he said in a soft voice. "You don't mean that."

"Yes I do!" Katie argued. "He tries to be so selfish and seem like the strong one! He doesn't understand that we get hurt too. But he doesn't care because he has an image to protect."

Carlos and James looked to each other, finding a bit of truth in Katie's words.

"Katie," Jennifer spoke up when she realized that neither of the boys would. "He's your brother, and he loves you. He just couldn't see any of this happening, okay? He's not trying to purposely hurt us."

Katie opened her mouth to respond, but a doctor had approached and beat her to it.

"I'm Doctor Parker," the older man said. He adjusted his glasses and sighed when everyone stood up from their seated positions.

"Is Kendall okay?" Jennifer asked, feeling panic build up at the look of sorrow Doctor Parker wore on his face.

"I'm sorry," Doctor Parker replied.

* * *

**I'll update ASAP if you promise not to KILL ME for giving you yet another cliffhanger. *dodges flying knifes***

**Reviews make me feel fly like a G6 (yeah, I know that's getting old, don't criticize me)!  
**


	14. Sorrow

**I've been in such a shock. We've reached 250 reviews! *happy dance* The amount of reviews per chapter is steadily increasing. After receiving 36 reviews for the last chapter, I desperately wanted to make sure I got this chapter out fast. You guys are so awesome. THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**Ahem. I really hope you like this chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

"I'm sorry," Doctor Parker replied. "I know this will be very hard for you to hear."

Jennifer gasped, already assuming the worst. "I-is he..."

"No," Doctor Parker quickly cut in before Jennifer could have a complete breakdown. "He's not dead...but he has slipped into a coma."

"H-how did this happen?" Jennifer asked, letting more tears waterfall down her face. "What happened to him?"

Doctor Parker sighed. "This is the part that would be hard for you to hear."

"Just tell us already!" Katie demanded, getting tired of the doctor beating around the bush.

"When your son was brought in, we had to run some tests," he began. "Seeing as how he's a healthy teenage boy, we were very confused about why he would suddenly have a seizure. So when we ran the tests...we found a very large amount of acetylsalicylic acid in his system."

"What's that?" Jennifer asked.

"Aspirin," the doctor said with a sigh.

"Aspirin?" Jennifer gasped out in shock. She looked to the boys, hoping they would know something, but the scared looks on their faces confirmed that they were just as surprised as she was.

Doctor Parker nodded. "There's more," he said sympathetically.

"More?" James asked.

"In the ambulance, Kendall stopped breathing," Doctor Parker explained. "He had to be put on a ventilator until his body was under control. Thankfully, he is no longer dependent on the ventilator, but his breathing is still a bit labored so we've put him on oxygen."

Carlos wiped the tears from his face. "Kendall complained about headaches yesterday," he said suddenly. "He probably kept taking the aspirin because his headache never went away the first time. He didn't mean to take that much. His headache probably just wasn't going away!"

Doctor Parker shook his head. "I'm sorry. Kendall _did _overdose on aspirin, and the amount in system, not to mention the reaction to the quantity of the aspirin, shows that this couldn't have been an accident."

"A-are you saying that Kendall...?" James began, but he couldn't get himself to finish. The thought of Kendall attempting suicide was impossible. Kendall wouldn't do something like that.

"Stop," Katie demanded, her voice unwavering. "Kendall wouldn't...no. It's not possible. He's been upset but he would never think about..." Katie was interrupted by her violent sobbing. "No! Kendall wouldn't do this to himself!"

"You'll all have to wait until he wakes up," Doctor Parker finally said, already knowing that they were all in denial.

"C-can we see him?" Jennifer asked.

The doctor nodded. "He's in room 232."

* * *

"He's miserable, Joanna," Alexander suddenly said. Logan had fallen asleep, for real this time, so Alexander thought this would be the perfect time to speak his mind.

"Of course he's miserable," Joanna said. "He's hurt and in a hospital."

"I don't mean that and you know it," Alexander replied.

Joanna sighed, knowing exactly what her husband was talking about. "He's upset now," she began. "But once he realizes that we know leaving LA is best for him he'll understand."

"That's the thing," Alexander said. "_You _think this is best for Logan. But you haven't asked me or listened to Logan."

"That's because Logan's too young to decide what's best for him," Joanna reasoned.

"But I'm his father," Alexander reminded her. "And I say that Logan doesn't just want LA. He needs it."

"Logan needs to come back home," Joanna said, her voice almost making seem like she was pleading. "He can't keep getting hurt like this."

Alexander sighed as he grabbed Logan's hand. "When we got that phone call telling us that Logan was in the hospital, I couldn't believe it," he began. "I'd never been so scared in my life. I've always wished that I could protect Logan from every bad thing. But as he got older, I realized that I couldn't." He gripped Logan's hand tighter, surprised that his son hadn't woken up from the intense pressure being put on his right hand. "But that doesn't mean that I don't care about him any less. But you know who else would want to protect Logan from everything? Kendall, James, and Carlos. They've been through a lot with Logan, and I would always trust those boys with Logan's life before a lot of people. You know why? Because those boys love Logan, and Logan loves them."

Alexander believed that he was getting through to his wife. She had a look in her eyes. One that was softer than usual. It was as if she were thinking and processing everything Alexander had just said.

But the moment was interrupted when a sobbing Jennifer Knight walked into the room.

Joanna's eyes perked up. "Jen?" she asked as she stood from her seat to approach her distressed friend. "Jen, What's wrong?"

Jennifer continued sobbing as she searched for her voice. "It's Kendall," she finally choked out.

At this point, Alexander was all ears and full of worry.

"What's wrong with Kendall?" he asked.

Jennifer began wiping her face. "My baby," she sobbed. "My baby tried to kill himself."

* * *

A sleeping Carlos had his head laying on James' shoulder. The two boys, along with Katie and Mama Knight, had spent the whole day in Kendall's hospital room.

Jennifer, who was holding a sleeping Katie in her lap, couldn't stop watching the steady rise and fall of Kendall's chest. She couldn't stop listening to the heart monitor steadily beeping.

"I can't believe I didn't see this," James muttered. "Kendall was drowning in misery and I...I didn't know it would get this bad!" James said as he started crying for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

It was hard to believe that it was only 7:15 in the evening. Everyone had felt so exhausted.

"Please don't blame yourself, James," Jennifer begged. "I honestly didn't think it would get this bad either...some mother I am."

James shook his head. "You shouldn't blame yourself, either," he said to her. "Kendall's really good at not letting us in. He always smiles and says he's fine when in reality he's dying on the inside."

James and Jennifer both shuddered at the mention of the word "dying".

"He just said that he wanted to be alone," James continued. "I just thought that he wanted some rest or...or just some time to himself." He sighed. "I shoulda been checking on him." James grabbed Kendall's hand, noticing how limp and cold it was. "We've thought so much about Logan, I guess Kendall was put in the background. But I promise that when he wakes up, he'll be given the attention he rightfully deserves."

Jennifer let a sad smile creep on her face. "You're so sweet, James."

A sad smile appeared on James' face. "Thanks Mama Knight." He paused before continuing. "The Mitchells," he began. "When you told them...did Logan hear about it?"

Jennifer shook his head. "Logan was asleep, honey," she answered. "Joanna said she'd let me know when he wakes up."

James sighed, running his fingers through his messy hair. "Logan's gonna take this so hard," he said. "I wish he could just be oblivious to the whole thing...but once he sees that Kendall hasn't been coming around to visit, he'll ask questions...and lying to Logan has always been hard for me." James sighed again. "I can't believe this is all happening."

Their conversation ended when Carlos shifted a bit before groaning and waking up.

"Hey, buddy," James said softly to his sleepy friend. "You feeling a little better?" he asked, knowing that Carlos had cried so hard that he exhausted himself.

Carlos looked at Kendall. "I'll feel much better when he wakes up."

"I know," James replied, putting his arm around Carlos' shoulders. "Me too. I'm sure we all will."

James noticed Carlos beginning to rub at his stomach.

"You hungry, little guy?" James asked, receiving a nod from the small Latino.

Jennifer looked at Katie, who was still on her lap. "And Katie hasn't eaten anything since breakfast."

James sighed, remembering that important fact. Katie hadn't eaten almost all day. "Neither have you," James pointed out, forcing Jennifer to think about herself.

"Can you...pick something up for everybody?" Jennifer asked, as she began fishing through her purse for keys and money.

James took the keys. "Keep the money, Mama Knight," James said. "I'll take care of it." Mama Knight was stressed, and James wanted to help her in any way possible.

"Thank you so much James," Jennifer said.

"It's no problem," James replied. He tapped Carlos on the arm. "C'mon Carlos. Let's give the Knights some alone time."

Carlos obeyed and followed James out the door.

They got to the elevator when James started checking his pockets. "Aw man," James groaned. "I think I forgot my phone."

Carlos stuck out his hand. "Can I have the keys?" he asked. "I'm really tired so I'll just wait in the van."

James nodded. "Sure, buddy," he said as he handed Carlos the keys. "I'll be quick, okay?"

"Okay," Carlos replied as both boys headed their separate ways.

Carlos was alone in the elevator, which he was glad for. He didn't want a stranger to talk to him. He wasn't in the mood.

The elevator dinged, and Carlos exited. He quickly made his way to the door, ready to head to the parking lot.

"There he is!" a voice yelled once Carlos found himself outside. "There's Carlos Garcia!"

Carlos gasped as a crowd of people surrounded him. All of them asking questions, taking pictures, their camera lights blinding Carlos' tearful eyes.

"Carlos Garcia!" a female voice said. "Is it true that Logan may never talk again?"

"Is there any news on Kendall Knight?"

"Is it true that he attempted suicide?"

"Why did Kendall try to kill himself?"

"Carlos! Do you have any comments?"

Carlos felt trapped. He was completely surrounded, and Carlos suddenly felt claustrophobic.

"J-James," he whispered. Breathing was becoming harder for Carlos and he was becoming dizzy. He was scared and all he wanted to do was head to the van. But these vultures weren't letting him. "James!" he cried out louder, seeing as how there was no way James could have heard him the first time.

Carlos started crying, but the reporters were too shallow to notice Carlos' despair.

"Leave me alone! James!" Carlos wailed. "James help please!"

Carlos began to think that calling for James had become pointless, until he heard a familiar voice yell in anger.

"Hey!" James called out. "Back off!"

Carlos couldn't remember a time James had been so angry, but at this moment, Carlos was happy to see James seething with rage as he grabbed a reporter's camera and throw it as hard as he could.

"Hey!" the male reporter called out. "You're gonna pay for that camera!"

"Is this before or after we SUE YOU FOR HARASSMENT!" James countered. "Now get outta here and I never want to see you guys around Carlos again. Got that?"

The reporters didn't respond. They just started to slowly back away from the angry teenager.

Once the reporters fled, James turned to Carlos, who quickly latched his arms around James. "Th-they wouldn't leave me alone," Carlos said in between sobs.

"It's okay now," James whispered as he ran his fingers through Carlos' sweaty hair. "They're gone."

"They kept asking about K-Kendall," Carlos continued as if he hadn't heard James. "A-and Logan. They asked about him too. How did they know about Kendall so quickly? And they kept asking if Big Time Rush was gonna disband and...how did they know that Logan can't talk? We never said anything about that to the public."

"I know," James said. "But they're gone now. I'm gonna get you something to eat, okay? You want some ice cream also?"

James felt Carlos nod against his chest. Though the reporters were gone and he really wanted some food, Carlos wouldn't let James go. He couldn't move.

"C'mon, buddy," James finally said after a few moments. "Let's head to the van."

Carlos eventually obeyed as he slowly released his grasp on James. "James?" Carlos spoke up as they were walking to their vehicle. "Thank you."

James smiled. "Anytime, buddy," he replied. "I'm sorry I hadn't gotten there faster."

Carlos shook his head. "Don't worry about it," he said. "I'm okay, now. Just a little shaken."

The boys got to the van. Carlos climbed in and leaned his head on the lukewarm window.

James started the car. "You must be exhausted," he observed.

Carlos could only nod as he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

The next day, not only did James and Carlos have to visit Kendall, who still hadn't woken up, but they also had to visit Logan.

And James was about to do the hardest thing he ever had to do.

Logan seemed so happy today. He didn't know there was something wrong with Kendall. No one ever told him. And they wanted to keep it that way.

But they couldn't.

_Hey guys! _Logan wrote on his whiteboard at the sight of two of his best friends.

Wait. Two? Why were there only two?

"H-hey, Logan," Carlos greeted, trying to be as cheerful as he could.

But Logan knew something was wrong. He had been friends with them for too long to think that they were okay. _What's wrong? _Logan asked. _Is Kendall sick again? _

James looked to Carlos before speaking. "Logan...there's something we gotta tell you."

Now Logan was afraid. James' and Carlos' demeanor was telling Logan that something was really wrong. _Is it about Kendall? _Logan quickly wrote on his board.

James reluctantly nodded. He sighed, burying his face in his hands before breaking the news. "K-Kendall he..." James stopped when he felt tears burning his eyes.

_Please come out with it, James, _Logan begged._ You're making me really nervous. _

James looked into Logan's worried, brown eyes. "_Just be fast and come out with it," _James said to himself._ "It's like pulling off a band-aid. Quick...and possibly painless." _James sighed. "Okay," he breathed. "Logan...Kendall's in the hospital."

Logan's eyes widened. _WHAT?! Why? _

This had to be the hardest part. "Kendall had an aspirin overdose," James said, his voice was so quiet that Logan almost wasn't sure of what James just said.

Logan grabbed his marker, wanting to write something down. His hand was shaking and he just couldn't find the words to say. _What? _he wrote down again, seeing as how that seemed to be the only word he remembered how to spell at the moment.

James opened his mouth to speak, but Carlos saved James the burden of having James elaborate. "Kendall, he," Carlos began as he choked out his words. "He tried to commit suicide."

At first Logan just stared into space. James and Carlos didn't think Logan heard what was just said. But their guess soon changed when Logan started sobbing uncontrollably. Several thoughts ran through Logan's head, all making the injured boy nauseous.

Logan didn't hear James and Carlos begging him to calm down. He didn't hear the heart monitor beeping crazy and out of control. Logan couldn't hear his breaths turning into pained wheezes. He didn't hear a doctor come in.

But Logan remembered screaming...or trying to scream. He was aware that he began pulling and grabbing at his hair in distress. He also definitely felt something sharp pierce his arm. He noticed his vision becoming darker and his eyelids getting heavier and heavier.

And Logan remembered mouthing one name before he passed out. Kendall.

* * *

**School's starting up on Monday :( So yeah I'm sad.**

**You know what would make me happy? Telling me what you thought about this chapter :D Can we reach 40 reviews for this chapter? Yes? No? Maybe? LOL**


	15. I Know This Is Real

**Here's chapter 15! I probably woulda had this up sooner...like...yesterday...but I've been seeing so many new stories (and some not new...just new to me) that I've been so distracted by those...Oh! And school started today X_X Will I survive senior year? :P**

******Can I say thank you? Your reviews are some of the kindest things I've ever read and I love them so much. You guys are supporting this so much and I seriously thank you so much for that. (I used the term "so much" a lot, didn't I?)  
**

**Okay, and here's a thought for this chapter. In Big Time Movie, I really do believe that everything the boys did, along with seeing Katie kidnapped, took a lot outta Kendall. I think it was a lot for him to handle.  
**

**Anyway, read on and enjoy!  
**

* * *

If you had no idea what was going on. If Kendall wasn't in a hospital, depending on an oxygen mask. If Kendall wasn't hooked up to an IV, you'd think he was okay.

Kendall's soft features of his face were shown as he was in his coma.

James couldn't help but think about the time they were in the UK. Between the running, fighting, rescuing Katie, and the concert, Kendall was exhausted. He was the first one to fall asleep. He barely made it to his bed before he collapsed and closed his eyes. James, Carlos, and Logan will never forget the way Kendall looked that night.

He looked like a child. The way Kendall curled up on his side, snuggling in his blanket. The sound of his deep breathing filled the room. Kendall's exhausted features on his face turned into that of peace and relaxation.

And they couldn't help but stare. Kendall looked...small, and it was a side of the blonde that none of them were used to seeing.

It was only until Logan spoke up with a chuckle and stated how creepy it was watching Kendall sleep was when they all stopped staring, and got ready for bed.

That's how Kendall looked right now. Small and relaxed. The facial features Kendall wore right now were the exact same ones he had at the hotel in the UK.

As if Carlos is reading James' mind, the small Latino taps James' arm, breaking him from his daze. "You're thinking about Europe too, aren't you?"

James raises an eyebrow. "H-how did you-"

"Because," Carlos answered, cutting James off. "I remember that look on your face. You had that same look on your face when we watched Kendall sleep like the little creepers we are," he said, in hopes of making James smile.

And James did smile. "You're good," he said with a chuckle. But then they both turned serious when James released a heavy sigh. "That day exhausted him so much," he said. "I was scared for him a bit, especially after almost losing Katie. That took a huge toll on him. But once Kendall went to sleep, and slept for twelve hours, might I remind you, I wasn't as worried because I knew he'd be okay." James reached up to brush Kendall's blonde hair from his forehead.

"So what about now?" Carlos asked.

James shrugged. "Now...I'm not so sure," he replied as he grabbed Kendall's hand. "I just want him to wake up...and hopefully we'll be able to take this one step at a time."

Carlos started playing with his fingers. "Do you...do you know how you're gonna talk to him about..._it_?"

James knew that by _it_, Carlos meant Kendall's suicide attempt. What he really wanted to say to Kendall was, "YOU IGNORANT FOOL! DID YOU NOT THINK ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF WHEN YOU DID THIS?" but James knew that _definitely _wasn't the way to go. Instead, James finally shook his head in answer to Carlos' question. He really had no idea how he would bring this up to Kendall. James wanted Kendall to tell everyone why he did it, and maybe then, everyone would do there best to make sure Kendall never feels that why again.

But in order to do that, you'd have to know what drove him to want to commit suicide. And knowing Kendall, that was easier said than done.

"Then how will we know what to do?" Carlos asked.

James sighed. "We show him how much we love him," he answered. "And hope that he gets the message."

* * *

Logan's cloudy, chocolate eyes slowly opened. He felt groggy, completely disconnected from the real world.

"Hey son," Logan heard a distance voice say. There was a hint of panic in that voice. "Are you okay, Logan?" Logan blinked multiple times as he tried to make his vision less blurry.

It was his father. Logan turned his head to look at the man.

"How do you feel?" Alexander asked.

Logan opened his mouth to speak, but then remembered an important detail.

He lost his voice because of that stupid car accident.

"Are you feeling okay?" his mother asked.

Logan didn't respond as he struggled to sit up.

"Easy, son," Alexander said as he put his hand on Logan's chest and gently pushed him back down. "Do you remember what happened?"

Logan _did _remember what happened. James and Carlos coming in. Kendall trying to kill himself. Then...darkness. Images began rushing through Logan's head and he felt a tear fall down his face as he nodded in answer to his father's question.

"It's okay, Logan," Alexander said in a soft voice as he used his thumb to wipe a tear from Logan's face. "They found Kendall on time. He's in a coma but it shouldn't be for long, okay?"

Logan sniffled a bit before nodding once again.

"You want your whiteboard, sweetie?" Joanna asked as she gave Logan his beloved whiteboard.

_My throat hurts, _Logan was the first thing he wrote.

"That's to be expected," Alexander replied. "James and Carlos said you started screaming...or at least..tried screaming. You know you aren't supposed to do that. You haven't healed yet." He held one of Logan's hands.

_Why did he do something like that? _Logan asked his parents. _I knew he was sad but I_

Logan didn't get to finish his sentence. His violent sobs stopped him from being able to think or write. Kendall was strong. Kendall would never think about suicide. It wasn't in his nature.

So what happened to Kendall that was so bad he felt he needed to off himself?

_What was wrong with him? Did you notice anything weird about him? Did he say something? Did someone say something to him?_

At Logan's last question, Joanna's face paled, thankfully unnoticed by Logan and Alexander. Kendall didn't try to kill himself because of...

Nah, of course not. It wasn't her fault. Kendall would have tried to commit suicide either way. It wasn't her fault that Kendall couldn't handle all of this pressure. It wasn't her fault that Kendall, who always pretended to be the strong, unbreakable one, finally realized that he wasn't as strong as he thought and decided to kill himself.

Joanna had nothing to do with Kendall's attempt.

Joanna sighed. "I'm sure Kendall will have a reasonable explanation when he wakes up," she finally said. One that didn't involve her.

_I hope he didn't do this because of me, _Logan wrote. _He hasn't been acting himself since the accident and James and Carlos would never tell me what was up. _

"Logan," Alexander spoke up. "The last thing you want to do is blame yourself for this. If Kendall _was _blaming himself, we need to remember where that led him." He stopped when Logan winced and his eyes widened. Alexander didn't mean to sound harsh or scare his son, but that just how his words came out. "I'm sorry," he said, regretting talking about Kendall that way. "But what I'm trying to tell you is that blaming yourself won't make anything better. Okay?"

"Sweetie," Joanna said. "I need you to relax, okay? Kendall will be fine and Jen is going to make sure that Kendall never tries that again. Okay?"

Logan nodded, but worry still filled his heart. _What about Mama Knight and Katie? Are they okay?_

Alexander sighed, thinking about the way the two Knights have been. "They're taking it pretty hard, which is expected..." he began to answer. "Katie hasn't stopped crying since yesterday, and her and Jen are very exhausted."

Logan looked down to his lap, still in shock. Still sad about the whole thing.

Kendall had come so close to death. What if he had been found a few minutes-or seconds-later?

* * *

It had to be no later than four o'clock in the morning. The last time James checked the time, it was 3:36AM. Though it felt like hours, he knew that it couldn't have been a few minutes since then.

Everyone in the room was asleep. James wasn't though. He was too busy listening to Kendall's heart monitor, along with Kendall inhaling and exhaling through his oxygen mask.

Kendall had stayed completely still. The only movement coming from his body was that of his chest steadily rising up and down.

James ran his shaky fingers through his messy hair. He chuckled, trying to remember the last time a comb went through his hair.

He came up with nothing.

Suddenly, he heard a whimper. Thinking that it had come from Carlos, James wrapped his arm around his little friend, bringing him closer and allowing Carlos' head to lay on his shoulder.

Carlos shifted a bit, and then snuggled into James' grip.

But more whimpers and moans could be heard, and that's when James realized that it wasn't Carlos who had been making those sounds of discomfort.

Another whimper. "J-J'mes?" a small, muffled voice said.

James jumped. He couldn't contain the swirls of emotions he suddenly felt. "KENDALL!" he accidentally yelled, waking up Carlos, Katie, and Mama Knight.

"Oh my gosh, Kendall," Mama Knight said, bringing a hand to her mouth as tears began to form in her eyes.

Kendall's, glazed, confused, green eyes looked around the room. "Wh't...wh't h'ppnd?" he asked, genuinely puzzled. He had no idea where he was or why he was there. Why did everyone in the room look like they were crying?

Kendall got scared as a sudden thought hit him. If everyone was crying like this, then that means...

"L-Log'n?" Kendall guessed, apparently wrong from everyone's reactions.

Katie latched her skinny arms around her mother's waist, not wanting to see or talk to Kendall.

"K-Kendall," Carlos said, being the only brave soul in the room. "What's the...what's the last thing you remember?"

Kendall took a while in replying, his foggy mind trying to remember everything and put it together. He finally shook his head. There was no way his brain would function right now.

"You went to your room," James began. "You said you wanted to be alone and we never heard from you again."

Kendall had a look in his eyes that made James stop talking. Kendall was remembering something, causing a large tear to fall from one of his eyes. "I...I didn't-"

"Yes you did," Mrs. Knight choked out, automatically assuming what her son was going to say.

Kendall's mind was becoming more lucid at the moment. He furiously shook his head. "N-no," he weakly argued.  
He would never do that.

"Why'd you do it, huh?" Katie asked, ignoring her brother's insistence that he didn't try to kill himself. "What made you think doing something like this was okay?"

Kendall froze at the sound of his sister's harsh outburst. He didn't-couldn't-answer. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "'M sleepy," he said truthfully. He was really tired and just wanted to close his eyes and sleep.

James released a heavy sigh as he nodded. "That's probably what he needs right now," he said, adjusting Kendall's blanket a bit. "We'll be right here, okay?"

Kendall nodded in acknowledgement. He was so close to sleep.

But the path to sleep had been broken when he heard his mother's voice. "We'll let Logan and his parents know you woke up as soon as daylight comes," Mama Knight said. "Joanna was worried about you, honey."

Kendall tensed at the sound of Mrs. Mitchell's name. It looked like the blonde had shrunk into himself.

Without thinking, Kendall shook his head. "N-no she wasn't," he muttered, his voice still distorted by the annoying oxygen mask on his face. Why did he have it on in the first place?

Carlos' eyebrows perked up at Kendall's reaction, probably being the only one who heard what the distressed blonde had said. "K-Kendall? What?" he asked, hoping that Kendall would clarify.

Kendall squeezed his teary eyes shut, hoping to block out everything. He snuggled deeper into his blanket, feeling everyone's eyes still on him.

"I'm sleepy," Kendall repeated in a whine, this time more clearly. "I wanna sleep."

His mother kissed his forehead. "Okay, sweetie," she said. "I know you're tired."

Carlos watched as Kendall's eyes fluttered closed.

Something was going on with Kendall, and Carlos had a good idea what it was.

* * *

**So what do ya think?**

**Help me get to 300 reviews! Please! I love you guys so much!  
**


	16. The Truth Comes Out

**There it is! Chapter 16! Thank you, my lovlies! You helped me get past 300! Y'all rock, you know that?**

**Oh, and there was an anonymous reviewer who stated that they felt that this story was turning into a Kendall-centric fic. If anyone else felt that way, I will let you in on something: It wasn't meant to feel like that, I'm sorry. But this is going to be a long story, and Logan, and well as his three friends, will get the spotlight as well, just to show how this whole thing is affecting all of them. But if you guys don't want that, and you just want it Logan based, just let me know. :D**

**Another thing, I had to change the rating of this to a T. Just because the suicide theme has come into play, and some other things (since I've changed up a few things AGAIN) might come in that's not K appropriate.**

**Okay, I'm done speaking. I hope you guys like Mama Knight in this chapter. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

_Everyone's suffering, _Logan wrote down to his parents. He hated the way his friends were because of him. Carlos is always sad, James is stressed, and now, Kendall's suicidal.

And frankly, as much as Logan really appreciated how much people cared for him, he also couldn't stand it. Everything was changing because of him. Even Camille planned on taking a break from acting to make sure Logan was taken care of in every way possible.

"What do you mean by that, sweetie?" Joanna asked after reading Logan's statement several times.

_Do you not see what's going on?!_ Logan asked her, giving her an odd look._ Kendall almost DIED. Carlos never smiles, James never sleeps, and everyone quit living just to make sure I'm okay! I hate this._

Alexander sighed. "Yes Logan,' he finally replied. "It's true that it's been too much for your friends to handle." He ran fingers through his hair. Kendall's suicide left literally everybody in shock. "Your friends are really young and they care about you, that's why they've been dealing with it so hard. They're not mature enough to handle things like this."

Logan furiously shook his head. _But I'm not dead, don't they get that? I almost died. There's a difference between almost and actually happening. Why can't they just put all this behind them?_

"You don't get it, do you Logan?" his father patiently asked. "You almost died. Anytime your friends close their eyes they probably see you, as your life was hanging by a thread and there was no way for them to help you." He sighed before stroking Logan's hair. "That's something that will stick with them for a long time."

_I just want them to be happy again, _Logan replied. _They need to get their lives back._

"Logan," his father spoke up. "They're your best friends. You guys have been through almost everything together. You _are _their life." Alexander flashed a gentle smile as he saw Logan visibly relax.

_You really think so? _Logan asked.

Alexander nodded. "I know so," he answered. "Just give them some time to heal."

_And I'm not doing anything to help them. _Logan's eyes watered up. _I still don't remember the accident_

"No one's asking you to," Alexander said in a soft voice, hoping to reassure his distraught son. "But I do want you to understand where your friends are coming from."

_Then what do I do? _Logan slowly wrote as his father's words sunk in.

"Give them time to heal," he answered. "That's all they need."

Logan nodded. _Do you think we'll ever be the same again?_

Both Joanna and Alexander remained silent at that question. Neither of them had an answer to that question, and they were afraid that the boys would _never _be the same again.

"Only time will tell, sweetie," Joanna said with a nervous smile. "We need you boys to heal first, okay?

Logan nodded before writing on his board. _Can I see them?  
_

* * *

Carlos found his shoes very interesting right now. Kendall was deep asleep. James and Katie had left to pick up some food for everybody. So right now, it was really just Mrs. Knight and Carlos keeping watch in Kendall's room.

Carlos hated Kendall's room. The psych ward of the hospital. Kendall's hospital room was located on the floor of the psych ward. Any person who attempted suicide, found themselves on the 200's.

Ever since Kendall was admitted into the hospital, Carlos had seen a lot.

Next door was inhabited by a woman in her twenties who had slit her wrists too deep. Done the hall, a man who was admitted for alcohol poisoning. Down in room 220 was a man who tried hanging himself.

Carlos was basically surrounded by death. And it wasn't just ordinary deaths. It was all intentional, and he didn't think he could stand another minute of it.

"Carlos," Mama Knight spoke up, apparently noticing Carlos' distress. "Are you okay, honey?"

Carlos slowly nodded, obviously lying.

"What's wrong, Carlos?" she asked, feeling genuine concern. "Something's bothering you and I needa know."

Carlos sighed and buried his face into his hands, trying to find the words. "A-all of this," he finally said. "Kendall tried to kill himself and...Logan can't talk yet and..." he stopped when he felt his eyes tearing up. "They have Kendall on suicide watch for crying out loud!"

Mrs. Knight understood everything Carlos was saying. She was extremely stressed out as well. "I just wish I knew why he did this," she said while absent-mindedly rubbed circles onto Carlos' back.

Carlos' body tensed up, which she immediately felt. Her worry for the sad Latino returned. "Carlos...?"

"It's nothing," he responded quickly, automatically knowing what she wanted to say.

Being a mother long enough, Mrs. Knight didn't believe Carlos one bit. She sighed, wanting to be as gentle as possible with Carlos. "Honey," she finally said in a sweet voice. "If you know something...I need to know. Whatever you know may help Kendall."

At the sound of Kendall's name Carlos let the tears fall.

"Carlos..." Mrs. Knight said once again.

"I-I'm not sure," Carlos stammered out. "Last night...Kendall...he just...when you talked about Logan's mom...I don't know he just... I thought he said something about Mrs. Mitchell not being worried about him...I don't know he's just been weird. Ever since the Mitchells came, Kendall hasn't been himself. He seemed tense anytime he was around them, especially Mrs. Mitchell." He paused a bit. "I-I don't know if any of that's true or if I've just been over-analyzing things but..."

Jennifer couldn't help but feel that Carlos was right. Kendall was getting better, or at least he seemed like he was getting better, until the Mitchells came. Had that been a coincidence? "It's okay," Mrs. Knight said, knowing that Carlos didn't want to continue. "But it doesn't hurt to ask, does it?"

* * *

An hour later, James and Carlos found themselves in Logan's room. After sending out Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell, who had been summoned by Mama Knight, the three boys were left by themselves.

As soon as Carlos walked in, he sped straight to Logan's bedside, wrapping Logan in a tight hug as both boys held back their sobs. James slowly approached his two smaller friends, latching his long arms around them.

They held each other for what felt like hours before finally separating. Logan wiped at his eyes.

Logan grabbed his whiteboard and started scribbling. _I'm sorry for everything I've done to you guys. You're all stressed and it's my fault and_

James grabbed Logan's hand, stopping the hurt boy's writing. "Sorry?" James asked, confused. "Why are you sorry?"

When James released his grasp from Logan's hand, Logan erased his earlier statement and began writing again. _I know you guys are stressed, and it's even worse now because Kendall tried to kill himself...and it's because of me_

"JUST STOP LOGAN!" Carlos begged with a loud voice. He used Logan's real name instead of Logie, and that showed that Carlos meant business. His spontaneous outburst caused his two best friends to jump at the sudden sound, but Carlos ignored it, wanting to say what was important. "Stop blaming yourself! Please! Everything that has happened isn't anyone's fault. I need you to see that. Kendall didn't and he..." Carlos trailed off when he felt James wrap an arm around his trembling shoulders.

Logan looked down in shame. _I'm sorry_

"You really need to stop apologizing. But Carlos is right," James said. "You need to stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault that stupid drunk hit you." James started taking deep breaths, clenching his fists as he thought back to that night. "What if we blamed each other for everything? What if we blamed you for sitting at that exact seat in the car? What if we blamed Dak for throwing a party that night? What if we blame Carlos for accepting the invitation to Dak's party for us? What if we blame Gustavo for buying us that car? What if you guys blame me for making you all come to that audition that got us where we are today?"

Before James could continue, Logan held up a hand to stop him.

"Pretty absurd, right?" James asked when he saw the look on Logan's face.

Logan let a smirk creep on his face and nodded.

_Why is everything spiraling out of control like this? _Logan wrote slowly.

Carlos raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" he asked, knowing that Logan was hinting toward a hidden meaning.

Logan sighed before continuing. _The accident. My voice that I may never get back. Kendall. My parents._

"Your parents?" James asked. "What about your parents?"

Logan looked down in shame, knowing that his friends won't like what he had to say. They'd probably even hate him for it. He decided to just ignore it and move on. He gripped his marker tighter. _Never mind, _he simply wrote._  
_

"No, Logie," Carlos said, a pleading tone in his voice. "You can't just bring something up and let it go. You need to tell us."

_I know, _Logan reluctantly replied. He sighed, bringing his shaky hands to the whiteboard. _But the other day...my mom said that she wanted me to come back to Minnesota._

"What?" James breathed out. There was no way Logan was going back to Minnesota. He just wouldn't allow it.

Carlos was afraid to ask, fearing the horrid answer he might receive. "A-and are you gonna go?" he asked in a small voice.

_When she first said it, _Logan began. _I argued with her. I didn't want to leave you guys._

"And now?" James asked, just as scared as Carlos. He noticed everything Logan wrote down was in past tense, and that couldn't be good.

_I'm not sure,_ Logan simply replied._  
_

* * *

When James and Carlos had been asked to visit Logan, Jennifer found it to be the perfect time to ponder over Carlos' words.

Joanna was her best friend, she and her husband wouldn't try to hurt Kendall, would they? They wouldn't want to hurt Kendall like this.

Would they?

Finally, she sent a text to Joanna, asking for the both of them to come immediately.

"Katie," Jennifer said to her now silent daughter. "I'll be right out in the hall, okay? I need to talk to Logan's parents."

Katie only nodded in response. Her eyes drifting between her sleeping brother and her departing mother.

Jennifer walked into the hallway, awaiting Joanna and Alexander. It didn't take them long to get there.

"Jen," Joanna addressed her friend. "Is everything okay?"

"Jennifer sighed, ignoring her question.

"Is Kendall okay?" Alexander asked, fearing the worst.

When Jennifer saw the look of panic in the Mitchells' eyes, she finally spoke up. "Oh, no!" she said. "Kendall's fine, he's just asleep...Katie's in there with him because he can't be left alone, but I needed to talk to you...and I couldn't do in there."

"Why?" Joanna asked. "Is it about Katie?"

Jennifer shook her head. "I didn't want to risk Kendall waking up during our conversation...it's about his suicide attempt. He tried to kill himself and I want to know why."

Joanna looked at Jennifer with surprise. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Jennifer swallowed the lump in her throat. "Kendall wouldn't do something like this unless he was really pushed off the edge," she began. "I just need to know if anything happened."

"You mean between us?" Joanna asked, slightly offended.

Jennifer hesitated before nodding her head. "The boys haven't done anything to Kendall, and neither has Katie or Camille, and those have really been the only people around my son," she began. "I just need to know if there's anything you should tell me."

Joanna shook her head. "It could have been anybody," she said. "But not us."

"Joanna," Alexander spoke up. "There's something you need to tell Jen and you know it."

Both women looked to him with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

Jennifer then looked to Joanna in shock. "Wh-what?" she stammered out. Why would Joanna have something to say.

"I didn't do anything that would make Kendall try to kill himself," Joanna replied in a harsh tone.

"Really?" Alexander asked. "Then you wouldn't mind telling Jen what you said to Kendall in the hospital room."

Jennifer looked to Joanna, this time with fire in her eyes. "Joanna...what did you do to my son?"

Joanna cast her gaze down as a sigh escaped her lips. "I didn't mean for him to get hurt..."

At this point, Jen couldn't believe it. One of her best friends pushed her son to suicide. "What did you say?" she asked, already knowing that she'd hate the answer, along with Joanna herself.

"I blamed him for the accident," Joanna admitted. "I didn't mean for this to blow out of control, I swear." She paused as tears came to her eyes. "I was told Kendall was driving, and I don't know, I needed someone to blame to feel better and..."

"And you saw Kendall as an easy target," Jennifer angrily concluded. When Joanna nodded, Jennifer continued speaking. "You saw that it was necessary to blame Kendall, who was already beating himself up for this accident."

"I'm sorry," Joanna whispered.

Jennifer sighed. Sorry wasn't going to fix everything that happened to Kendall. "Kendall will be discharged in a few days," she began. "And if he were to come back home, he wouldn't feel comfortable with the both of you at the apartment." She stopped, running a finger through her messy red hair. "I would never do this to friends, but my son will always come first. I'm sorry but...I need you two out of the apartment before Thursday. I can't have Kendall feeling scared and uncomfortable in his own home."

* * *

**I hoped you like this chapter. My brain has been dead all week so every time I wanna do something, my brain goes X_X**

**Thanks for reading! Reviews make twirl ribbons! :D**


	17. Putting Things Together Again

**That awkward moment where you misspell a word so bad that spell check has no suggestions...**

**Thank you for your continued support! :D**

**Sorry for any mistakes you might see... :(**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Logan noticed that his parents seemed a bit off. Both of them had a sad look on their face. But at the same time, they seemed a bit anxious about something.

_Everything okay? _Logan quickly wrote down. When his parents didn't answer, Logan felt fear rising. Did Doctor Wilson tell them something? Was he getting his voice back? Was there something wrong with Kendall?

Finally Logan began writing again. _Please tell me what's wrong._

When his parents saw the sad, pleading look in Logan's eyes, they couldn't remain silent. Alexander gave Joanna a look, telling her that she should be the one to tell Logan what was going on.

Joanna stepped closer to Logan, grabbing his hand. A sad smile appeared on her face as her eyes watered up. "Everything's okay, Logan," she said. "We just...we just have to settle a few things, okay?"

_Like what? _Logan asked when he saw how close his mother was to crying.

Alexander sighed. He was conflicted. He knew that Logan deserved to know what was going on, especially since it involved Joanna and Kendall. But at the same time, Alexander figured that Logan would probably hate his mother after this, and Alexander didn't want that tension between them.

But then Alexander realized another thing: if Logan didn't find out now, he'd find out later, and it wouldn't be from his parents. How would Logan react then?

He looked over to his wife. "You should tell him," he told her sadly. "Logan will figure it soon enough, don't you think?"

Logan stared anxiously at both his parents, mentally pleading with them to hurry up and talk.

Joanna swallowed the lump in her throat. She grabbed Logan's hand and gently squeezed it. "Honey," she said, her voice cracking. "Sometimes, your mother makes mistakes." She let out a deep sigh. "And this time...I've been punished for it."

Logan just looked at her, confusion etched on his face. He really wanted to know what all of this meant. He may be a genius, but that doesn't mean that he reads minds. He wanted to write something down, asking his mom to elaborate further, but Joanna had his hand in a death grip, and Logan didn't want to be rude by pulling it away.

"Sweetie, I said some things to Kendall that...that I shouldn't have said," Joanna explained. The more she realized what she did, the more she regretted it. The more she felt like a horrible person who had betrayed her son, her best friend, and her best friend's son.

She just felt low.

"Jennifer had told me the story of the accident," Joanna finally continued. "She told me that Kendall had not only convinced you to go to that party but also that he was the one driving when the accident occurred." When she looked into her son's eyes, Joanna wanted to stop. It was as if Logan already knew where this was going, and she could tell that he was not only shocked, but disgusted.

"Logan I'm so sorry," she said, letting the tears finally fall down her face. "I told Kendall that he was the reason you were in the hospital. I blamed him for the accident and always told him how he almost killed you and that he didn't deserve you." Then, Joanna said something that hit her like a ton of bricks, and she just wanted to crawl into a hole because of shame. "Logan...Kendall's suicide attempt, I had something to do with it."

There it was. What Logan had waited to hear this whole time.

His mother caused Kendall's suicide attempt. Why would she do something like that?

Logan pulled his hand away from his mother's grasp, as if the touch had been fiercely burning his hand. He looked to his mother, anger, shock, and disgust shown on his face. His breathing had picked up a little, but nothing too bad to for another sedation.

Alexander ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Logan...I know this is hard to hear," he said with a sigh. "Your mother made a mistake but she honestly regrets it. She wants you to forgive her. Don't be mad, okay? She was upset and didn't know what she was doing."

Logan didn't respond. His face became expressionless.

"Listen, Logan," Joanna said in a gentle voice. "Your father and I are going to be looking for a hotel to stay in, okay? Jennifer said that...that it was best to leave 2J."

Finally Logan reacted. He picked up his marker and whiteboard. _Good_, he simply wrote.

Joanna gasped, but she couldn't say that she didn't see that coming.

"Logan," Joanna said. "I know you're mad-"

Joanna stopped when she saw Logan shaking his head. _I'm not mad,_ he wrote. _I'm beyond pissed._

Joanna could feel her facial expression just drop, as if someone had just slapped her. She tried grabbing Logan's hand, but her efforts were futile as Logan harshly pulled his hand away.

She felt Alexander put his hand on her shoulder. "Logan's in shock, honey," he said. "Maybe...maybe we should give him some time alone."

Joanna and Alexander looked to Logan, hoping there would be some type of reaction from him. But when Logan didn't say anything, they felt defeated. They began walking out, their eyes glued to the floor.

"We'll be back soon, son," Alexander announced. He figured this would be the perfect time for him and his wife to check into a hotel while Logan got his feelings together.

* * *

Jennifer felt kind of guilty for kicking the Mitchells out of her apartment, but after looking at her son, the feeling of guilt fled from her body, being replaced with anger and despair.

James and Carlos walked in, somber looks on their faces, as they dragged their feet to Kendall's bedside.

"Are you boys okay?" Mama Knight asked. "How's Logan? Boys, what's wrong?" she pleaded as James and Carlos remained silent.

Finally, James looked up at Jennifer. She couldn't help but notice the way his eyes looked. They shined, as if James was wanting to cry but he was forcing the tears from falling.

"Logan's parents want him to go back to Minnesota..." James said, his voice lacking emotion.

"And he says he's thinking about going," Carlos finished.

Jennifer's eyes widened. Her trust for Joanna fell even more as she processed what she had just been told. So Joanna planned on taking Logan back? That wasn't going to happen. Not under her watch. Not while Big Time Rush could still be on the rise.

"What?" she finally breathed out in response. Too many thoughts were running through her head right now for her to form real sentences.

James nodded, once again showing no emotion. "Where's Katie? he asked after looking around the room and noticing that the youngest Knight was nowhere to be seen.

Jennifer knew that James was wanting to change the subject. Katie was the perfect distraction. "She'll be back," she answered. "She went out for some fresh air. I wanted to go with her but you boys were gone and we can't leave Kendall alone because-" Jennifer was cut off by her own sobs and tears, not being about to say the reason why she couldn't go with Katie.

Kendall was still on suicide watch.

"Mrs. Knight?" Carlos said in a small, almost unrecognizable voice. "We saw the Mitchells on the way up here..." he began. "Were they...were they okay?" he asked, already having a feeling that he knew what happened. "Th-they seemed a little upset."

Jennifer nodded. "I know, Carlos," she said with a sigh. "You were right. Joanna had been saying things to Kendall behind our backs...I kicked them out of the apartment."

James' eyes widened.

"Did they say anything?" Carlos asked.

"They admitted to hurting Kendall," she answered. "And...they said they were sorry. I didn't want to kick them out but I can't have them in the apartment if Kendall feels so uncomfortable around Joanna."

James could see how much Mama Knight had been beating herself up, and he wanted to make her feel better. "You didn't do anything wrong, Mrs. Knight," he said with a reassuring smile. "You did what any good mother would have done because you realized that your son takes priority."

Jennifer smiled, finding truth in James' statement. "I just hope he forgives me after all this."

"Of course he'll forgive you," Carlos said. "He's not gonna blame you for this. There's no reason to."

Jennifer was about to respond, but a weak voice stopped her. "M-Mom?" Kendall said, who had just woken up.

Jennifer knew what she had to do next, and she knew that it wouldn't end well.

* * *

Carlos found himself slowly walking to Logan's hospital room once again. Once Kendall woke up, Jennifer asked if she could talk to him in private. So James and Carlos politely left, James going to find Katie, and Carlos going to Logan. Carlos _really _didn't want to separate from James, but he knew that Katie needed someone right now, and he knew that Katie would prefer James.

When Carlos let himself into Logan's room, he didn't expect Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell to be gone, neither did he expect an angry-looking Logan either.

"L-Logan?" Carlos stammered, curious what made his friend so angry. He approached Logan's bedside, noticing that his hands were slightly shaking from anger. "Logan what's wrong?"

Logan didn't reply, only releasing a heavy sigh.

"C'mon, Logan," Carlos pleaded. "Talk to me." Carlos learned from everything that has been happening that keeping secrets does more damage than good, and he didn't want to imagine what Logan's anger could lead to.

Logan slowly grabbed his marker. _My mom told me the truth, _he simply replied, not knowing what else he could say.

Carlos didn't need Logan to expand his statement. He knew that by "the truth", Logan knew what his mother had been saying to Kendall.

"Wh-where are your parents?" Carlos asked.

Logan shrugged while erasing his board. _They left. Good thing too._

"Logan...are you mad at them?" Carlos asked, though he already knew the answer.

_Why wouldn't I be? _Logan asked, as if it was that question had the most obvious question in the world._ Sure she didn't try to kill Kendall but she might as well have! Kendall's in the hospital because of her._

Carlos sighed. He didn't know how to reply to that. He was mad at Mrs. Mitchell too, but something told him that his anger wasn't as deep as Logan's. "You're mom's been through a lot and-"

Logan only glared at Carlos, forcing the Latino to stop. _SHE'S been through a lot? What about me? What about you and James? What about Kendall?_

"But Logan," Carlos said. "Being mad at your mom isn't going to make things better, either, will it?"

_I can't believe she did that to him! _Logan angrily wrote. _How could she do that? Kendall would never hurt me and he would never be careless when it comes to my safety and she knows that!_

Carlos sighed, seeing that Logan had a point. "L-Logan, I'm...I'm so sorry."

Logan seemed to have started calming down, which Carlos took as a good sign. But then, Logan's eyes started watering up, and the tears finally fell. _Why does everything seem to be falling apart? _Logan asked with tearful eyes.

Carlos hesitated, but finally, he wrapped his arms around Logan, stroking the crying boy's hair. "I honestly don't know," Carlos replied, feeling Logan's body trembling with sobs. "But I promise...No matter how bad things get...We're gonna do everything to put it all back together. Okay?"

* * *

"Hey, Katie," James said to the younger Knight as he took a seat next to her on the bench. They were outside the hospital, staring off into the distance. "I thought I'd find you here."

Katie remained silent, but James didn't get offended. He knew that all of this a lot for Katie to handle.

James wrapped his arm around her skinny shoulders. "Katie...I know you're upset...things are just so messed up right now. I didn't think it would all come to this. I just thought Logan would stay in this hospital for a while, come home, and we'd act like none of this every happened." He sighed. "But I guess life isn't that easy, huh?"

Still more silence. At this point, James couldn't tell if Katie was just ignoring him, or completely out of it, lost in her own world.

Turns out, it was neither.

"I hate all of this," Katie confessed, finally speaking up. "Why did this have to happen to _us_? We don't deserve this, right?"

James held her tighter. "No Katie, we don't...or at least...I hope we don't. I don't understand this either. One day, the guys and I are celebrating, the next, we're barely holding on to life. With a snap of the fingers, our life basically shattered. You're right, Katie, this is messed up."

"I just wish we could hit the reset button, you know?" Katie said, sinking into James' grasp."

"I know," James said. "I'll tell you a secret. Some nights, I dream that we're back in Minnesota, or in Gustavo's studio, all four of us messing around. But then I wake up crying when I realize that...it was just a dream..."

Katie looked at James in shock. "Really?" she asked, and James replied with a sincere nod. "But you seem to..."

"Be the only one who's keeping my emotions in check?" he asked, finishing Katie's statement. James chuckled. "Yeah...I know. I...I just can't do it. Everyone here has something to worry about. I want to help, not cause more problems by being added on everybody's list of things to worry about. My needs aren't important right now."

Katie shook her head. "You're wrong, James," she said. "You're just as important as the rest of us. You know that! You can't suffer in silence. You'll break! Just like Kendall! Everyone eventually does!"

"I'm fine, Katie," James argued. "Believe me."

Katie was silent for a while. She knew that she could argue all day with James and she wouldn't get through to him. "Okay," she whispered. Her voice was last at the second, and she felt her eyes watering a bit. "But promise me...promise me that anytime it gets to much...you'll talk to me or...someone!"

James sighed. "Katie-"

"Promise me!" Katie demanded, interrupting anything James might have wanted to say. "I know that I seem messed up! All of us do! But you need to talk to someone when it gets too much, okay?"

"Okay," James replied with a nod. "I promise."

Katie let a sad smile creep on her face. "Thank you so much, James," she finally said. "Thanks for everything."

* * *

***Sigh of relief* THERE IT IS! :D Review and let me know what you think, please?**

**Oh and by the way! In case some of you guys didn't know, I started a new BTR story! It's called Evil Resurrected! Check it out?**


	18. Forgiveness

**For all of you asking when I was gonna update...**

**SURPRISE! **

**This chapter is called Forgiveness...so please show me some forgiveness for taking a long time to update, and then finally updating with a ridiculously short chapter XP**

**So here's a super late shout out that I should have done weeks ago. For all of you who love Kendall angst, there's a story you MUST read. It's called "Those You Trust" by winterschild11. You won't regret it :D**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

"Logan," Kendall said, his eyes watering up a little. "I'm so sorry. I understand if you're mad at me. I was stupid. I was dumb. I'm so sorry."

Logan looked to him. His left arm was finally free of its cast, allowing Logan to move more freely. Kendall was in a hospital wheelchair, brought in by Carlos and James after Logan had demanded to see him.

Honestly, Logan didn't know what to say to Kendall. They were both confused as to everything going on. They couldn't process their emotions.

_I'm sorry you had to go through that,_ Logan finally wrote. His voice still hadn't come back. His entire body was healing except for his trachea. Because of that, he was fed up, annoyed, and mostly, very scared.

Kendall sighed. "Please don't apologize," Kendall begged. "I tried...doing that and put you, the guys and my family through all that. It was selfish and I'm really sorry, Logan. Do you forgive me?"

Logan looked down in sadness before beginning to write. _I just can't believe my mom would do something like that. I should have known. I should have noticed something! How could I have been so blind and stupid?_

"You weren't being stupid," Kendall said, taking a hold of Logan's hand. "You're all banged up, right now. You're hurt, still in recovery. Do you really think that we'd expect you to swoop down and save us when you're in that condition? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?"

Logan shook his head. _But still,_ he argued. _You guys mean everything to me. I should notice when you guys are in pain, too. The world doesn't revolve around me, and I don't want it to._

"Well guess what, buddy," Kendall said. "It does. You know what my world revolves around? You. James. Carlos. Mom. Katie. My world revolves around all of you. Because I care for you guys. I love all of you. My world wouldn't be complete if any one of you...weren't there anymore." Kendall looked down to floor when he realized what he had just said.

_So you think my world doesn't revolve around you guys, either?_ Logan asked, as if he was reading Kendall's mind. _Kendall, if you had died I-_

Logan stopped writing. If Kendall had died, Logan's world would have crumbled. That's a fact. No doubt about it. Kendall's suicide attempt had brought about a feeling Logan had never felt before, and he never wanted to feel it again.

"I'm so sorry, Logan," Kendall said, as if the word 'sorry' had become the only word he could say. But really, who could blame him?

_You should never blame yourself for what happens to me,_ Logan demanded. _You tried saving me. You tried saving us. Don't you think I'd remember that?_

Kendall sighed. "I'm just glad you're okay," he finally said. "I...I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry."

_Stop apologizing, Kendall. There's nothing to apologize for,_ Logan replied. _I'm sorry that mother did all of that to you. I promise, I'll do my best to make sure something like that never happens._

Kendall chuckled. "Don't worry," he replied. "I think Mom has that part covered."

There was a comfortable silence in the room before Logan started writing again. _I heard your mom offered you therapy._

Kendall sighed. He really didn't want to talk about it, but leave it to Logan to bring it up anyway. Kendall finally nodded.

_And let me guess,_ Logan began. _You argued with her. Told her no. That you didn't want or need it..._

Kendall sighed again. Logan knew him too well. Before he could respond, Logan continued writing.

_If you're not gonna go for yourself, Kendall, do it for me, _Logan wrote. He looked into Kendall's eyes, pleading with him through his misty, chocolate eyes that Kendall say yes._ Do it for your mom. For Katie. Do it for us! We need you. And we need you to get better. And by getting better...you have to get the help you need. Stop doing things by yourself. Stop trying to suffer in silence or fix things by yourself. Even Superman needed help with things. _Logan smiled._ That's why there's a Justice League._

Kendall let a smile appear on his face before Logan reached over and pulled him into a hug. Logan couldn't talk, he also couldn't write anything right now because of the position they were both in. But Logan's hug spoke a thousand words to Kendall, and he understood each word perfectly.

* * *

Logan sighed when his parents walked into his room an hour later. Kendall was still in the room, making the atmosphere quite awkward.

Kendall looked to Logan before prepping his wheelchair to leave.

"Wait," Alexander commanded. He sighed. "Kendall. Stay. You need to hear this."

Kendall sent another nervous look to Logan before taking a deep breath. He nodded. "Okay," he breathed out. "I'll stay."

Joanna took a step forward. "We know you're leaving the hospital tomorrow, Kendall," she began awkwardly. "My husband and I have already left the apartment. You won't see us there anymore." She swallowed. "Kendall. Kendall I'm so sorry. For everything. I shouldn't have put you through any of that." She glanced over to Logan, who had a serious look on his face. "I know what I did was really bad, and I know saying sorry isn't going to change what I did to you and the boys." She felt tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "You deserved better."

Kendall was completely silent, trying to take in everything Joanna was saying. To say that he was in shock was a complete understatement. He was finally seeing the side of Joanna that he had been used to seeing.

The kinder side.

"I shouldn't have done what I did," she continued. "And I'm sorry. I regret every word I said and everything I did to you."

Kendall looked into her eyes. She was sincere he was sure of it.

Kendall felt his eyes watering up. He tried forcing the tears not to fall, but after a few seconds, he lost control. Fat tears streamed down his face as he finally processed what Joanna had said.

And with one sentence, Kendall's falling tears had turned into full fledged sobbing.

"The accident, Logan's injuries," she began. "None of them are your fault."

Kendall sobbed, feeling Logan bring a hand to his back. Logan began rubbing Kendall's back, feeling his friends body tremble.

"Kendall," Joanna said, who had started to cry harder as well. "Do you forgive me?"

Kendall wiped his face, clearing it of the messy tears. He looked up at her. "You were in shock. People say things they don't mean when they're in shock..." he took a deep breath. "I...I forgive you," he choked out, completely meaning every word he said. "And thank you...thank you for forgiving me too."

* * *

**I really hope you guys haven't lost interest in this story :( Sorry for kinda ignoring it, but I'm coming back, okay? So review, please?**


	19. Home

**So I told winterschild11 that I would update Evil Resurrected...but somehow updated this instead...hmm. But guess what! I FINALLY have a 3,000+ word chapter! *claps hands* Because, c'mon, the last chapter was ridiculously short :P hope this makes up for it :D**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Logan sighed as he laid his head back down. He had just had a conversation with Doctor Wilson, and she had good news to tell him.

He had a week left.

A week left in this horrible place. A week before he could finally sleep in his own bed. A week before he could be around his friends all the time again.

A week before he went home, the place he was missing so much.

The cast on his leg was estimated to come of before that time. Logan couldn't be more happier. Sure he'd be subjected to physical therapy for weeks before he could do anything that involved intense physical activity. But it was still good news. Logan would be able to move around. He would be able to do things for himself and not feel like such an invalid.

Soon, he'll be able to swim, run around, play hockey, and dance at the studio.

But Logan's facial expression dropped. The studio. The place where Big Time Rush got ready for every performance. The place where the practiced dance moves with Mr. X and got yelled at by Gustavo.

The place where Logan sang his heart out.

Well, the place where Logan _used _to sing his heart out. What about now? Could that still be possible? It was bad enough that this accident had a chance of affecting his ability to sing. But as of now, Logan couldn't even _talk._ He couldn't make a sound. If his voice was taking its sweet time in coming back, would his ability to sing even return? Would he still have a chance of continuing his career as one fourth of Big Time Rush?

Logan always had his plan B. If Big Time Rush didn't work out, he could always become a doctor. It was his first dream, anyway.

But now, even _that _didn't seem possible. How could you be a doctor when you can't even communicate with your patients?

Logan wished he could turn back the hands of time. He wished this accident never happened. Not only was it breaking him, it was also breaking his friends.

And the worst part was, Logan _still _couldn't remember the accident. It was as if it never happened. As if he closed his eyes one day, then suddenly, he woke up at a hospital. Why couldn't he piece anything together?

He felt completely useless throughout this whole ordeal. He couldn't mourn properly like his friends were. He couldn't even talk to at least tell them that everything was going to be okay!

Logan huffed. What's the use? Maybe he _should_ move back to Minnesota. As of now, he was completely useless here. Big Time Rush would have to continue on without him. What good could he possibly do with the band now?

A tear surprised Logan and made its way down his face.

The poor boy was scared and confused about everything. Should he be optimistic, telling himself that one day soon, his voice will return? Or should he just accept the inevitable and try as best as he could to move on?

Maybe he could learn sign language.

That was an idea. And knowing James, Carlos, and Kendall, they'd all learn it too because the boys would do anything for each other.

His friends. They went through everything together.

Logan wondered. Would him moving back to Minnesota hurt them, or do them a huge favor?

More tears fell down his face.

And Camille. What about her?

Being together would be so much harder for them. And Logan definitely did not want to force on Camille the responsibility of learning sign language just to be with him.

She should go the easy route.

Camille should find someone who makes her happy, not a guy that can't even communicate with her.

Logan sighed. Where was all this coming from? His thoughts were so insane. Maybe it was the drugs. Maybe it was the shock of things. But Logan knew that he should never have thoughts like these in his head. His friends wouldn't allow it and they would kill him if they were to find out that he entertained such thoughts.

The door suddenly opened, causing Logan to jump. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Logan?" James said as he and Carlos walked in. The two of them immediately knew that something was wrong.

Logan put on a smile, but James and Carlos knew him for too long.

With a look of worry, the two boys made their way to Logan, sitting on either side of the bed.

"Hey, Logie," Carlos said with a caring voice. "What's wrong?"

Logan looked down. It was nothing. Really. They didn't need to know what had been flowing through his mind. Logan finally shook his head.

"No, Logan," James responded. "Something's wrong. You're gonna tell us." James had a strong voice to his command, but Logan could still hear the pain, worry, and kindness coming from James' words. James wasn't a very threatening person if you were his friend. He was a huge teddy bear towards the people he loved. James was only aggressive to people who tried to hurt him or his friends. Logan always remembered when James would tell him to do things he didn't really want to do, but Logan would do them anyway. It wasn't because Logan was afraid of him, because he wasn't. And it also wasn't because James would get mad at him, because he didn't. But it's just that James had this charm. His friends couldn't say no to him because he was just too nice of a guy.

So now, after hearing James' demand, Logan could only hold back for so long.

Logan grabbed his whiteboard and marker, a set of objects that he had grown tired of using.

_I've just been thinking, _he slowly wrote.

James scoffed. "Logan, you're _always _thinking," James pointed out. "But this time, something's different. Just tell us what's wrong. C'mon we're here for you, buddy."

Logan sighed. _Honestly,_ he began. _I really don't know WHAT'S wrong with me. One second I'm fine, then the next second I can't help but think that everything is becoming so hopeless._

Logan allowed James and Carlos to read his writing, but he wasn't done yet. He erased his earlier statement and began writing again. _I'm so confused. What's going to happen to us? What if I never get my voice back?_

James reached out to grab Logan's hand. "We're gonna take it one day at a time," he responded. "And darn it Logan we promise to stick by your side until you can't stand us. You'll beg us to back off but we won't budge until you've healed a hundred percent." James smiled. "And even then, we'll stick to you like lint on fabric. Got that?"

Logan looked to his whiteboard, feeling tears stinging his eyes again. _But my voice. Big Time Rush. What about all of that. You have lives with that, remember?_

"Logie," Carlos spoke up. "You mean more to us than our career." James nodded in agreement before Carlos continued. "We want all of us to stick together just like it's always been! You not being able to talk won't change any of that. You're gonna get your voice back. You're gonna talk and sing again like nothing happened. We'll do everything we can to make that possible if it means making you happy."

_But what if I'm permanently damaged?_ Logan asked. _I've heard about cases like mine...sometimes they never talk again._

"But you're not just a case, Logan!" James replied. "You're you. How many times have you heard of four small town guys becoming successful super stars?"

_I'm sure that happens often, _Logan replied.

"But not enough," Carlos said. "But it happened to us. Everyone always tells us how special we are. You know why? Because the most impossible things happen to us. You know that."

Logan sighed.

James swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. "We promise you, Logan," he said. "You're gonna get your voice back."

James and Carlos could only hope that James' promise wouldn't be broken.

* * *

"Okay, let's see," Camille muttered to herself. It was night in LA now, and she was in Logan and Kendall's shared bedroom with James and Carlos. "Logan likes his books here, right?" she asked, placing Logan's copy of "The Odyssey" on a corner of the shelf in the room.

"Yup," James said with a nod. "And his notebooks go here," he said, placing two notebooks on his desk.

Logan and Kendall's room was in the process of being cleaned. They wanted the two boys to come back in the most comfortable environment possible.

Though Logan still had a week left, Kendall was coming home the next day.

Camille sighed. "I can't believe it," she said. "They're coming home. They're finally coming home."

Carlos placed his arm around Camille's shoulder. He could relate to Camille's sentiments. Apartment 2J was completely different since Logan and Kendall's hospitalization. Sure Kendall had only been in the hospital for a few days, Logan had been in the hospital for over a month.

And that was the hardest month of Camille's life. Forget the time she spent constantly looking for an acting job just so she had enough food for her next meal. Forget the month she spent back home in Connecticut, having to visit her cancer-stricken uncle.

Logan's hospitalization hurt her so much worse.

"He hasn't been getting better. Has he?" Camille asked, basing her conclusion on the way Logan had always looked every time she came to visit him.

Carlos raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, Camille? Of course he's getting better. He's healing and getting his casts removed."

Camille shook her head. "Not that," she responded. "I mean...how is he...emotionally?"

When James and Carlos finally understood what Camille meant, they looked to the floor.

"He's...he's recovering," James answered, his shoulders slumping. "But...not fast enough. His voice hasn't come back and it's really effecting him." James sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "He's really scared and he's stressed out. He's just really sad about everything."

Camille nodded. She hadn't been able to see Logan for the past three days, but when James answered her, she wasn't surprised. She was upset about it, but definitely not surprised.

She sighed. "What are we gonna do?"

"Everything we can," Carlos answered. "Logan deserves our full attention and our care. We're gonna help him, and Kendall, get better."

Camille nodded, suddenly losing her voice.

A humorless laugh escaped James' lips. Camille and Carlos looked to him, seeing him bend down to pick up something from the floor.

"Kendall's bracelet," Carlos breathed out when he saw the silver piece of jewelery with a "K" dangling from it.

"Poor Katie," James said, still looking at the bracelet. "When she came home, she just expected to see a gloomy Kendall. She was ready to try to cheer him up by giving him this." James sighed.

"I wish she never saw that," Carlos said. "She's too young for any of that. I wish I could have saved her from that...or wish I could have saved Kendall from doing that to himself."

James and Camille had noticed how fast Carlos had matured over the past few weeks. Carlos growing up was something everyone wanted to see. But given the current circumstances, they didn't feel as happy as they thought they would be. Carlos matured, yes. But at what cost?

Camille rubbed Carlos' back. "But you can save them both now," she said. "That happened in the past. But you should be there for them every step of the way and maybe...it'll get easier."

Carlos let a sad smile cross his lips. "I...I know," he responded.

"Who wants some ice cream?" James spoke up, feeling the need to distract the two. Today was a happy day, and thinking about the past had clearly begun to depress them.

Camille and Carlos' faces seemed to light up a bit.

Camille shrugged. "Okay," she finally answered. "But only _after_ we're done with this room. We have to make sure it's perfect for them."

James and Carlos nodded in agreement.

"Then we better make this quick," James said with a smile. "I love Kendall and Logan like brothers but I really need ice cream...and pie!"

Camille rolled her eyes at James' statement while Carlos just laughed.

Carlos' smile never left his face. Things were getting back to normal. They had to be. Logan and Kendall were coming back. Right now, that's all that mattered.

* * *

The next morning, James and Carlos couldn't stop rocking back and forth on their feet.

Kendall was coming home, and they were excited.

If they were this excited about Kendall coming home, they couldn't imagine how excited they'll be when Logan could finally come home.

Katie was sitting in a chair, staring at nothing. Kendall was coming back and she didn't know whether to be happy or be upset.

Kendall tried to leave her! He promised he'd always be there for her and their mother, then he goes and tries to commit suicide. How messed up was that? Ever since then, Katie had felt a hint of betrayal. What else could she feel?

Kendall stepped out of the bathroom. Instead of a hospital gown, he was now in his usual attire. He looked at everyone before locking eyes with Katie.

"Let's go," Jennifer said happily, trying to ignore the tension between her two kids.

"Can we see Logan first?" Kendall suddenly asked, surprising everyone.

Jennifer nodded. "Okay sweetie," she answered. "But it has to be a short visit, okay? The two of you are supposed to be resting and taking it easy."

Kendall nodded. "I just need to say hi," he responded.

James and Carlos looked at each other before Kendall started walking out the door.

Everyone quickly followed. Kendall wasn't the only one that wanted to see Logan.

They walked to Logan's room in silence. No one said a word as they rode in the elevator and walked down the halls. It was just pure silence. James could tell that Carlos was getting a little uncomfortable with the silence, and James wanted to say something to make his Latino friend feel at ease.

But for the first time in a long time, James couldn't think of anything to say. Ever since Mama Knight had offered therapy to Kendall, Kendall had been quite cold towards her and Katie, who seemed to snap when Kendall even looked at her funny. And ever since the Knight family started falling apart, James was left speechless. It was so out of character for that family that it hurt him to see them like that.

Finally, they reached Logan's room, and everyone's mood seemed to have lightened up a bit.

"Hey Logan," Kendall greeted as he walked inside, making his way to Logan's bed. Everyone else followed suit, getting closer to Logan and giving him a proper greeting.

Logan immediately stretched out his arms, wrapping Kendall in a tight hug.

A small smile crept on Kendall's face.

Logan released his hold on Kendall, grabbing the whiteboard that laid on the table beside him. _I'm glad you're going home :)_

Kendall smiled. "And I'll be waiting for you, okay?" he replied. "So try not to get into any trouble, because I won't be happy with you."

Logan nodded in obedience, even though he knew Kendall was joking.

Kendall was joking. Logan smiled at that thought. Kendall joking meant that Kendall was getting better. That the blonde was on the road to his recovery.

Kendall chuckled. "I wish I could stay with you buddy," he said. "But the doctors will kill me if they find out that I didn't leave right away like I was supposed to."

Logan nodded in understanding before he began writing. _And I agree with them. You need plenty of rest and I'll make sure you get it. Even if that means jumping off this hospital bed and strapping you on it._

"You won't have to do that, buddy," James said with a smile. "We'll make sure that Kendall obeys the doctor's orders."

Logan looked to James, mouthing "thank you".

Carlos got closer to Logan and hugged him. "James and I will come back for you later today, okay?" he said. "And we'll spend all day with you. Promise."

Logan smiled.

"Okay, boys," Jennifer said. "Let's get Kendall home." She looked to Logan. "Bye sweetheart," she said with a wave.

Logan waved back. Kendall was about to turn around and leave, but Logan grabbed his wrist.

Kendall turned around to see Logan writing on his whiteboard. _Don't forget what we talked about. _

Kendall nodded, remembering exactly what Logan and him had talked about. He gave Logan a nod, before turning around to leave.

Logan sighed as he watched his friends leave, wishing he could be leaving with them. He felt his eyes watering up and began hating himself. He hated the fact that this accident had made him so emotional. It made him feel weak.

Logan once again sighed. Six more days. He was leaving this place in six days. Then he could go home. Six days, and everything would be okay again.

Six more days.

* * *

**Okay. So this chapter had a lotta good news, didn't it?**

**What didja think of this little number?  
**

**Hmm, I think I should go work on Evil Resurrected now. Deuces!  
**


	20. A Good Sign

**Chapter twenty! Yay! And thanks for getting me to 400 reviews! I love y'all!**

**Who's ready for a cute Logan moment? Well...I hope you are :D**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

_It was dark. It was late. And it was starting to rain._

I'll talk to you in the morning,_ Logan texted Camille. _Get some rest. Love you._  
_

_Logan smiled when Camille replied a few minutes later.  
_

I love you too :D_  
_

_Logan could see his friends making funny faces as if they were mocking him, but he didn't care. He was talking to Camille. When he thought of Camille, nothing else mattered._

_"Can you believe the chocolate fountain Dak had?" Carlos asked in amazement. His eyes lit up."I didn't think they came that big! It was like Niger Falls!"_

_Logan could only roll his eyes. "Niagara Falls," he corrected. They'd been through this several times.  
_

_"Oh yeah," Carlos carelessly said.  
_

_"Don't forget the hot girls!" James chimed in.  
_

_Logan once again rolled his eyes, scoffing a bit.  
_

_"Did any of you guys see WayneWayne?" Kendall asked. "Even __he _was being nice to us."

_"That's because you've beat him once, and you can beat him again," Carlos said with a smile. "I think that's something he'll remember for a long time the next time he wants to mess with us."_

_The car was silent for a few minutes. The excitement and adrenaline from the party had begun to wear off. James released a huge sigh.  
_

_Logan looked out his window, seeing what caused the sudden look of worry coming from Kendall. He noticed a car maneuvering horribly. "Kendall-"_

_"I see it," Kendall quickly said.  
_

_Logan felt the car speed up as Kendall tried to escape the vicinity of the swerving car.  
_

_But Logan realized that Kendall's efforts were in vain.  
_

_Logan was the first to scream when he saw the car come towards his side and-  
_

Logan woke up with a start. He gasped awake, his body jolted upwards as Logan tried to catch his breath.

"Logie!" Carlos called out. He felt scared as Logan panicked. As promised, after dropping Kendall off at the apartment and getting him settled, James and Carlos returned to the hospital to stay with Logan.

And they were glad they did.

The beeping of the heart monitor increased as Logan tried catching his breath.

"We need to get him to breathe!" James yelled, taking action. He got close to Logan and held him, gently stroking the scared boy's hair. "Shh. It's okay, Logan," James said in a soft voice. "It's okay. We're here for ya."

A nurse burst in. "Is everything alright in here?" she asked, feeling that it would be necessary to sedate the patient.

James held Logan tighter. "He just had a bad dream," he answered, feeling bad for responding in such a rude way. But he felt Logan starting to relax a little and he didn't want his friend being sedated.

The nurse nodded before leaving the room.

"Is he okay?" Carlos asked James, even though his eyes were glued to Logan's trembling form.

"He will be," James answered hopefully. He turned his attention back to Logan. "What's wrong, buddy?" he asked. "What did you see?"

Logan tightened his grip on James. His crying had begun to die down a bit, but he was still frightened.

"You wanna talk about it?" Carlos asked.

Logan turned his gaze to Carlos. Logan's tear-filled eyes had become red. He finally nodded.

James reluctantly released him, knowing that Logan would need to write on his whiteboard if he wanted to talk about anything. He grabbed it and a marker off the table and handed it to Logan.

With shaky, sweaty hands, Logan accepted James' offering and began writing. _I saw it,_ he simply wrote down, his brain unable to form real sentences.

"S-saw what?" Carlos asked, fearing the answer.

_I saw the car coming,_ Logan wrote down. _I saw the accident._

James sighed. "I'm so sorry, Logan," he said. "I'm sorry you had to see all that."

Logan wiped the tears from his eyes. _There's nothing to be sorry about, _he wrote down. _I'm glad I can remember it now._

James and Carlos looked to him in shock. "Why?" Carlos asked, seeing as how Logan was an emotional mess due to the sudden memory.

_Because all of you have suffered alone,_ Logan explained. _I was totally oblivious to everything and I felt so bad about it. I didn't think it was fair to you guys._

"But we didn't want you suffering with us, Logan," James replied. "Don't you get that?"

Logan looked down, knowing that James had a point.

James sighed. "We can't protect you from everything, Logan," James continued. "But if we could, we would. So when you said you couldn't remember the accident, we were happy about that. You couldn't remember that night so we thought we had nothing to worry about. We never wanted to tell you what happened because we finally thought that there was something we could protect you from...We would have kept that secret down to our grave."

Carlos nodded in agreement.

Logan sighed. _All of you guys have just been so great about helping me through all of this. I understand that you guys didn't want to tell me about it. I probably would have done the same thing if anyone of you were in my place right now. I wish there was a way I could pay you back for all of this._

"Are you kidding me, Logie?" Carlos asked in disbelief. "You don't need to pay us back. We're paying _you_ back. You've done everything for us and you've shown so much patience towards us. You don't owe us anything!"

This time, it was James' turn to nod.

_But you guys have sacrificed so much for me, _Logan argued. _Especially now. I don't know if I would have made it without your help._

"You're strong, Logan," James said. "Stronger than you think."

_I only feel it when I'm around you guys_

James and Carlos looked at each other before turning their attention back to Logan. They smiled.

"We feel the same way when we're around you, Logan," James said. He chuckled. "But I must say. You're really putting all of us down with your whole pessimistic talk."

Logan smiled. _Can't help it, _he wrote. _It's my forte. _

"Get a new one," Carlos jokingly demanded. "Because we will all be speaking of only the positive." Carlos smiled. "I just know it, Logan," he said optimistically. "Everything's gonna turn out better for us. Nothing but positive things will happen to us. It has to."

Logan sure hoped that was true. he wanted everyone to forget about this whole ordeal. He wanted Kendall to be himself again. He wanted his mother and Mrs. Knight to be friends again, despite all the trouble Joanna had caused. He wanted to see Carlos smile again. And not the sad smiles had been showing, but the real smiles. The ones where his face lit up and his eyes glowed. And James. Logan wanted James to return to his old care-free self. The James who joked around, ate pie, sang, and chased girls. Not the James that suddenly felt like he needed to support the weight of Katie, Mama Knight, Kendall, Logan, and Carlos on top of all his concerns.

_I have six days, _Logan wrote with a smile. _If I can go six days without something going wrong, I can go home._

James laughed. "With all the trouble we seem to attract, those six days will be a huge feat!"

"Can I push you on your wheelchair?" Carlos asked excitedly.

James and Logan looked at Carlos wide-eyed, hoping Carlos was joking.

He wasn't.

_Getting injured while LEAVING the hospital is not cool, _Logan simply wrote. He smiled when he saw Carlos pout.

James laughed. Logan let a huge smile appear on his face.

_You can tuck me in, Carlitos, _Logan wrote to the pouting Latino.

Carlos shrugged. "Okay," he said. "I guess that's cool."

James slung his arm around Carlos' shoulders. "And you can pick out the movie we're gonna watch in celebration of Logan returning to us." He said before turning his gaze to Logan. "And I'll be the one to carry you to bed when you pass out the fifteen minutes of the movie."

Logan could feel his face heating up and turning red. He smiled sheepishly.

"Aww," James mocked. "Are we embarrassing our little Logie?"

Logan remained silent, trying to hide the smile that seemed to have permanently engraved itself onto his face.

"I'll take that as a yes," Carlos said. "It's so funny! Logie you're so pale and when you blush your cheeks turn EXTREMELY red!"

_Stop it! _Logan demanded once he was able to get his fingers to function.

Logan was trying to be serious, but James and Carlos knew they couldn't take Logan seriously. James and Carlos looked at each other, an evil smirk on their faces, and Logan wasn't oblivious as to what was going on.

_No, _he quickly scribbled._ Don't even think about it._

Carlos teased him, poking Logan's side and watching the pale boy jump.

"Tickle war!" James called out. He and Carlos began tickling Logan.

Defenseless Logan tried escaping, but James and Carlos continued tickling him, and the only thing he could do was laugh. If he could, he'd at least be begging them to stop.

Suddenly, the door opened. An irritated-looking nurse walked in, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at them angrily. "What are you boys doing?"

Logan, who was still laughing a bit, tried catching her breath. He hadn't realized that his heart monitor had started to beep faster in result of the tickle war that had erupted.

"Sorry, ma'am," Carlos said, looking down in shame. "We were trying to cheer up Logie and it kinda got outta hand."

"Well be careful next time," the nurse warned. "Logan should be resting and a doctor will NOT hesitate to kick you out if need be."

James' and Carlos' eyes widened at that statement. They hadn't even thought about that.

"Okay," James finally said before the nurse walked out again. He and Carlos turned their attention back to Logan. "Sorry, Logan," James said to him.

_Are you kidding? _Logan asked with a shocked expression etched on his face. _I don't think I've laughed that much in forever!_

"Well then," Carlos began. "We'll continue this war later...back at the apartment." He stuck his finger out and pointed to Logan. "And that's a promise."

Logan just sighed, shaking his head. He stopped when he saw the time on the clock on the wall.

James and Carlos noticed their friend's sudden change in demeanor. "Logan," James said. "Everything okay?"

Logan nodded. _I just realized that Dr Wilson is coming in two hours to check my throat. She'll be doing that everyday before I leave. They're all hoping to see improvement before then._

"And if they don't?" James asked. He wasn't trying to sound pessimistic. He just wanted to know the outcome of every possibility that could occur.

Logan shook his head. _Nothing. They'll still send me home, _he wrote, earning a large sigh of relief from his friends. _But I WILL have to be making regular visits until my voice returns. It'll be a hassle and quite annoying, but Dr Wilson said it's required._

"It's no hassle," Carlos said quickly. "It's for you. Besides, those doctor's appointments won't last very long because you'll get your voice back in a flash. You'll see."

Logan shrugged. _I know, _he replied with a sigh. _I just hate doctor's appointments. _

* * *

"Be sure to rest up, Kendall," Jennifer recommended to her son who was glumly watching TV on the orange couch in the living room. "Your first doctor's appointment is tomorrow morning." She tried to sound as cheerful as possible, but the shakiness in her voice gave away her true feelings.

Kendall didn't respond, raising the volume of the television a little more. He knew that "doctor's appointment" was a nicer way of saying "time at the shrink".

Jennifer sighed, trying to hide the hurt she felt when he son blatantly ignored her. She slowly approached her son. "Kendall?" she asked. "Did you hear me?" Of course he heard her.

He just didn't want to talk.

Kendall just sighed.

"We leave at 9:30 in the morning," she announced. She patted his knee. "James and Carlos said they were going to spend the night with Logan so don't wait up for them, okay?"

More silence. This time, it was Jennifer's turn to sigh. "Kendall...Kendall please-"

That seemed to spark something within Kendall. "Please what?" he asked, standing up angrily. When his mother didn't say anything, he repeated himself, this time angrier. Louder. More aggressive. "PLEASE WHAT? PLEASE STOP MESSING UP? STOP PUTTING YOU TO SHAME? BE A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR MY SISTER THAT DOESN'T EVEN _LOOK_ AT ME ANYMORE? What do you want from me, huh?"

"I want you to talk to someone!" Jennifer yelled back, tears stinging her eyes. "No one ever knows what you're thinking. You never let anyone in. You need to talk to someone, and since you didn't choose any of us I got you help!" Jennifer sobbed a bit. "I just don't want you to try it again and...and we find you too late..."

Kendall exhaled, feeling himself relax considerably at the sight of his mother. "Mom," he breathed out, feeling extremely guilty at the sight of his mother's tears. "I-I-I'm so-"

She rose up a hand, cutting him off. "It's fine," she quickly said. "I should go," she said, departing to her bedroom.

Kendall watched helplessly as his mother exited the living room. He felt terrible. He couldn't believe he had just yelled at his mother like that. He never talked to her like that. He had never raised his voice to someone he loved. Yet here he was, pushing away his mother and verbally abusing her when she just wanted to help.

_Just like Joanna did._

Kendall gasped as that thought crossed his mind.

"Mom," he weakly called out to her as he started leaving the living room and made his way to her bedroom. He felt like he was messing up. Everything he did ended as a disaster.

He stood in front of her door. "Mom," he called as he knocked on the door. When he got no response, he let himself. He sighed as he made his way to her bed where she sat, hugging a pillow and letting tears fall down her face.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," he said as he took a seat next to her. "I sorry. I'm sorry." He wrapped his arms around her, putting his forehead on her shoulder. "Please forgive me. I'm such a screw up. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It was stupid. I'm so sorry." He just cried onto her shoulder, feeling that the silent treatment he was getting was something he deserved.

Kendall felt her pat his back in a loving way. "Shh, sweetie," she whispered. "It's okay, honey."

"No it's not," Kendall said, his head still on her shoulder. "I shouldn't have treated you like that. I made you cry. That's not right, Mom!"

"It's been stressful for you, Kendall," Jennifer replied. "I don't want you being hard on yourself, okay?"

Kendall sniffled. He lifted his head and wiped the tears off his face. "What's happened to me?"

"You're broken Kendall, and I understand," Jennifer replied. "It's okay to be the way you are right now. You blamed yourself for Logan's injuries. Then Joanna...I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from her. I'm sorry."

"Don't blame yourself for Joanna," Kendall pleaded. "You had no idea because I refused to tell you and the guys anything. I'm sorry. Mom. I want to get better. I _need _to get better. For Logan. For you and Katie. For James and Carlos. I have to..."

"Then let me help you, okay?" Jennifer replied in a gentle voice.

Kendall nodded. "Okay," he breathed out.

Jennifer swallowed. "Doctor Bennington has been a therapist for twelve years," she began. "He deals especially with people who...attempt suicide." The phrase felt like acid to her tongue now. "His fiancé committed suicide several years ago."

"How long do I have to be seeing him?" Kendall asked.

"Until you're better," she answered with a smile. She began combing her fingers through Kendall's hair.

"Okay," he said. "Then...I should probably go to bed."

Jennifer nodded. She kissed his forehead. "Good night sweetie."

"Night, Mom," Kendall replied as he stood up and left.

* * *

**I had so much fun writing the tickle scene because I sit next to my friend in all my classes and she hates when I tickle her. So randomly during class, I stealthy reach over and poke her and watch as she jumps in the air and it's an all out tickle war when the teacher turns around! That's my girl for ya LOL**

**How you like this chapter?**


	21. Stepping Stone

**Wow. This chapter was hard. But hey, another 3000 words! Think I can write a 4000 one?**

**I'm sorry if this chapter bores you to tears, but...Enjoy!  
**

* * *

James looked at himself in the mirror for what felt like the first time in several years. He couldn't say that he was too happy with what he saw.

For one thing, James looked worse than tired. How he was even still functioning was beyond him. Dark circles stained the area under his eyes. His once tanned face was pale. His hair hung dead and limp.

In short, he was a mess.

After he and Carlos spent the night with Logan at the hospital, James and Carlos were sent home by Camille. She wanted to spend the day with Logan and his parents, and with help from Logan, she was able to force James and Carlos to go home for some much needed rest.

But of course, James couldn't rest. There was just too much going on in James' mind.

He was happy that Logan only had five days left. Just knowing how close Logan was to coming home made James' heart flutter. It made him feel happier than he ever had. He loved knowing that Logan would be home soon.

And not home to Minnesota. Logan was coming back to the Palm Woods. It was where he belonged.

It was also where he was needed.

James sighed. There was still something bothering him about this whole thing.

Logan was losing all hope. Logan is adamant that his voice isn't coming back, and that there will be no use for him once it's been realized. No matter how many times James told Logan that his voice would return, Logan couldn't seem to get himself to believe it.

And, as ashamed as he felt about this, James couldn't help but lose hope either.

A knock on the door interrupted James' thoughts. "James," Carlos called out from the other side of the door. "Are you done in there?"

James quickly opened the bathroom door. "Yeah, buddy," he said. "Do you need the bathroom?"

Carlos shook his head. He looked down at the ground before twiddling his thumbs. "It's just...I was wondering if you and I could hang out today," he began. "I know we've been together a lot recently but...it's just that...Logan's at the hospital still...and the Knights went to Kendall's therapy session so I was wondering-"

"It's okay, buddy," James sad with a sweet smile. "You're right. You and I need to do something that's...you know...not hospital related."

"I know you're tired," Carlos said, being one of the many that noticed how exhausted James seemed recently. "We can stay here and hang out. Maybe watch some movies? Honestly...I'm not feeling too great either."

James' eyes widened. "Are you coming down with something?" he asked.

Carlos shook his head. "I'm sure it's nothing. I just need rest, I'm sure."

"Okay," James said. "But if you start feeling any worse you let us know immediately, okay?"

Carlos nodded. "Okay," he responded. "So what do you wanna do?"

James smiled, putting his arm around Carlos' shoulders. "C'mon, buddy."

* * *

Logan couldn't understand what was going on. He was in the car with his friends.

The same car that was totaled and would never be driven again.

Another thing confused him. Last he remembered, he was in the hospital. His parents had left to go get some real food, and Camille had offered to stay.

As Logan looked around, he couldn't help but feel that everything he was seeing felt very familiar.

As if he was living a deja vu moment. A moment he didn't want to relive.

_"Everything's okay, Logan,"_ a voice said in the distance. Logan could feel a small hand running its fingers through his hair, but he wasn't too sure. Was all of this real? What was real and what was fake? His mind was so confused right now. And scared. All he could focus on was the car coming his way.

_"I need you to wake up Logan,__" _the voice said again. "_Everything will be okay once you wake up."_

Logan started shaking, causing the voice to increase in volume.

_"Logan! You're alright now!"_

If everything was okay, then why was he in the BTR mobile, hearing his friends scream as their car was violently smashed into by a car?

_"Logan. Please wake up. Everything's okay."_

Logan could do nothing but trust the voice as he slowly began to open his eyes. _"That's it, Logan,"_ the voice encouraged. "_I'm right here, everything__'s okay now."_

Logan finally opened his eyes. Standing above him was Camille, a sad smile on her face. Her eyes were watery, which Logan noticed right away.

He quickly woke up, his breathing a bit heavy, before sitting up and reaching for his white board.

_What happened? _he wrote.

"You had a nightmare, Logan," Camille answered, pulling him in a gentle hug, hoping it would help him relax a little. "Are you okay?"

Logan nodded. Once Camille released him, he started writing again. _Are YOU okay? _he asked her, worrying that something bad had happened to his nap. _Were you crying? Why were you crying?_

Camille shook her head. "It's nothing," she quickly said with a smile.

_Something happened, Camille,_ Logan argued. _Tell me._

Camille sighed. "Really, it's nothing," she said. "You...you just really scared me." She was mad that she had reacted the way she did while Logan had his nightmare. James and Carlos warned her of how Logan was after having his nightmare. She should have been prepared.

_I'm really sorry, _he apologized. _I scared you because of these stupid nightmares I've been having. _Logan knew that James and Carlos had given him strict directions to remember that everything happening to everybody was not his fault and that he shouldn't blame himself. And Logan believed it.

But it was always times like these, times when people he cared about were in so much pain because they were so worried about him, that made him forget everything James and Carlos told him.

Camille shook her head. "There's no reason for you to apologize," she said, starting again to gently stroke Logan's hair. "I understand that you get these nightmares. That accident was really scary for you and your friends. Nightmares will come but I'll be here for you, okay?"

Logan smiled before nodding. He scoot over, patting the space next to him.

Camille climbed on and laid next to him, understanding Logan's message perfectly. She allowed Logan to rest his head on her shoulder. She smiled when Logan yawned.

Logan felt comfort at the feel of Camille next to him. He snuggled further into the bed._ Maybe I can sleep with less nightmares for now,_ he wrote down before his eyes drooped closed once again.

Camille took the whiteboard from Logan's now limp hands. She kissed his forehead. "Maybe," she said with a smile before she too, fell asleep a few minutes later.

* * *

Kendall sighed. "Mom," he said, adding a little whine in his voice. "Does Katie _have _to come?"

His mother looked at him, nodding. "She said she wants to."

"Why?" Kendall asked, completely surprised. Why would Katie want to be on the same _planet _with him right now? "She's done nothing but ignore me these past few days and treat me like crap when she actually _does _acknowledge me. I don't want her there."

"Maybe she's changed," Jennifer suggested. "She wants to show her support. Now I'm gonna go get her and see if she's ready."

Kendall sighed, rolling his eyes, before watching his mother exit his bedroom.

It wasn't long before the Knights had gotten into the car, began driving, and arrived at Doctor Bennington's office. The drive was awkward and silent, and Kendall couldn't help but think that the only element making this ride awkward was Katie. He was sure that it she wasn't here, he would feel a bit more comfortable.

"We're here," Jennifer announced.

Kendall wanted to tell his mother that he was sure that he knew _exactly _where they were and that there was no need to tell them, but he restrained himself.

As they sat in the waiting room, Jennifer could tell that her son was extremely nervous. She grabbed his hand. "It's okay, Kendall," she said with a smile. "I'm gonna go to the lady at the desk and let her know that you're here." She rose, kissing Kendall's forehead before making her way to the front. Kendall stole a nervous glance at Katie, who wasn't paying attention to anything around. Just playing Castle Bashers 3.

Kendall could only nod. He looked around the waiting room. The walls were painted a plain, light blue. Pictures of flowers, landscapes, parks, beaches, and other "calming" pictures hung on the wall. At the front desk, was a red-headed woman, typing away on a computer while listening to Jennifer. A few other patients were sitting scattered around in the waiting room, some looking just as nervous as Kendall was.

Jennifer began walking back in his direction. "Okay, sweetie, you see that door?" she asked, pointing to a door to her left. When Kendall nodded, she continued. "You're gonna go through that door and Doctor Bennington's office is the second to the left.

Kendall stood up, letting out a deep, nervous sigh.

"It'll be alright," Jennifer told him in a low voice.

Kendall nodded before he started making his way to the office. He walked past the door before walking a short distance to Doctor Bennington's office. He placed his hand on the doorknob, releasing a deep sigh before turning the knob and walking in.

The room was very homely. There was a large window on the back wall, and the view was quite nice. There was a tiny garden revealed by the window. Closer to the window were two gray couches, one for the patient, and one for Doctor Bennington.

"You must be Kendall Knight," a voice said, making Kendall look to his left. "Make yourself comfortable," the man behind the desk said, pointing in the general direction of the couches. He had a friendly smile on his face. His dark brown hair was short and neatly trimmed. He didn't look very old, either. Kendall guessed this man to be in his mid thirties.

The man stood up from his desk, and he and Kendall made their way to the couches.

Once they took their seats, Doctor Bennington began. "As you already know, Kendall, I'm Doctor Bennington. My main goal is to make you feel as comfortable as possible, and I want to help you in anyway I can. So...can we start from the beginning, please?"

Kendall took a deep breath.

* * *

Doctor Wilson had come to Logan's room to do a check up on him. She was happy that the sad boy could finally go home to his friends and family. He deserved it and she couldn't tell if this hospital was doing him more good or more harm.

"How's my patient doing?" she asked with a smile once she walked into Logan's room. By this time, not only had his parents returned, but Logan had woken up already, the food his parents had brought for him had been eaten. Camille was still asleep, so Logan had been allowing her to lay her head on his shoulder this time.

"He's doing so much better now," Alexander said. "We can't thank you enough."

The doctor smiled. "And has Logan been eating properly?" she said looking at his parents before turning to Logan.

Logan smiled and nodded, thankful for his parents for getting food for him.

"I'm glad," Doctor Wilson replied. "Now tell me, Logan. Has the pain in your leg been decreasing?"

Logan nodded once again.

"That's good," Doctor Wilson said. "Now I'm gonna do the same check up that I've been doing with your throat, okay? Can you open your mouth?"

Logan opened his mouth, allowing Doctor Wilson to pull out a tiny light and shine it into his mouth. His heart always beat faster anytime Doctor Wilson performed these tests. He felt so nervous every time he awaited to hear news of his current condition.

"Wow," she breathed out.

Joanna's eyes widened. "Is he okay? Is something wrong with his voice?" she asked, completely panicked.

Doctor Wilson quickly shook her head. "No," she answered. "Not at all. Actually...swelling has gone down. It's small. But any sign is a good sign."

Logan smiled. He'd been waiting to hear news like this for what felt like years and he finally got it. Words couldn't describe how happy he was. He quickly grabbed his whiteboard. _So I can talk again soon? _he asked. _Can I sing?_

Doctor Wilson smiled. "I don't see why not," she answered. "Singing may take a little longer, of course. But you're starting to heal. I'll say you can look forward to throwing away that whiteboard of yours soon," she said with a wink.

Once Doctor Wilson had left the room, Logan looked to his parents with hopeful eyes, and Alexander automatically knew what Logan wanted.

"I'll call Jen's apartment and let everyone know the news," he announced with a smile as he pulled out his cell phone.

Joanna placed a kiss on Logan's forehead. This had to be the best news they had heard in a long time.

* * *

James was actually pretty worried at this point. Carlos had fallen asleep only forty five minutes into the movie they were watching. It wasn't like the energetic boy to pass out like that, especially with a movie he loved so much.

The front door to the apartment opened, and James jumped at the sound. Kendall walked in, the first think he noticed was James staring at him.

"Hey Kendall," James greeted.

"Hey," Kendall said, taking a seat on the couch close to James. He immediately turned to Carlos. "Is he okay?"

James sighed. "I don't think he is," James answered. "He's been looking so tired these past couple of days."

"You've been tired too," Kendall pointed out. James didn't have to tell him. He just knew.

James shook his head. "I'm okay," he replied. "But Kendall...how are _you_?"

Kendall sighed. "I'm fine James. Honest," he answered. "I'm gonna do everything I can to get better, I promise."

James let a small smile creep on his face. "Where's your mom and Katie?" he asked after realizing that Kendall had come home alone.

"They dropped me off and left," Kendall answered. "I told Mom and Katie that they...they needed a break."

"A break?" James asked. "What kinda break are they taking?"

"A break...a break from me," Kendall answered with a shrug. "Every time I'm around them, I can't help but feel that they're so tired of me...and disappointed. James...I shouldn't have done what I did. I'm so sorry I just..."

James put a comforting hand on Kendall's shoulder. "It's okay, buddy," he said. "But...can I ask you one question? Why...why did you do it?"

Kendall released a humorless laugh. "We talked about this in therapy today," he commented. He planned on telling James a little of what he said while talking to Doctor Bennington anyway. "Honestly...I wasn't thinking about..._that._ I had a headache that day. I went to grab some aspirin. I put two in my hand."

"Then...what happened?" James asked.

Kendall shrugged. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "I just kept looking at those two pills...wondering what would happen of I took...more. I didn't...I just started thinking about _everything _Mrs. Mitchell said to me and...the next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital."

James swallowed. "Kendall...I-I'm so sorry."

Kendall shook his head. "It's nobody's fault," he quickly said. "I'm really sorry for putting all of you through all of this."

"I'm just glad that...you're still here," James said, not really knowing how to phrase his words.

Kendall began focusing on Carlos, looking for a way to change the subject. He reached forward and placed his hand on Carlos' forehead. "He really _is _sick," he pointed out after feeling how warm Carlos had become.

James jumped. "What?" he asked. He touched Carlos forehead before he gently nudged Carlos. "Hey, Carlos," he said. "C'mon wake up buddy."

Carlos hummed before slowly opening his eyes.

"Hey, buddy," Kendall said. "You feeling okay?"

"Kendall?" Carlos whispered tiredly. "You're back."

Kendall smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I am." A look of concern flashed on his face. "Are you okay?"

Carlos took a while in responding. After a while, he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "I'm a lil dizzy," he admitted with a mutter.

"You're getting sick, Carlitos," James told him.

Carlos shook his head. "I'm okay. Not sick."

James scoffed. "You're sick," he said, taking no argument from Carlos. He stood up. "I'm gonna get him some pillows and a blanket. He should be resting for the rest of the day so he doesn't get any worse."

Kendall nodded in agreement.

"I don't wanna be sick, Kendall," Carlos whined. "Especially now."

"I know, buddy," Kendall said. "But it'll pass. You just need sleep. I know you haven't been getting a lot of that lately. You'll be all better when you wake up, okay?"

Carlos nodded. Once James returned with a blanket and pillow, Carlos snuggled up and closed his eyes.

* * *

**So...what did ya think? Again. Sorry if you got bored. :P**


	22. One Step Back

**You guys will never guess what happened. Last week, I started this chapter...and I lost my voice! XD I think Logan did some voodoo stuff to get back at me. Still haven't completely gotten my voice back yet, but at least I don't talk like a man anymore haha.**

**Thank you to winterschild11 for giving me the idea for the last part of this chapter ;)**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

_Logan groaned, kicking at the snow on the ground. He looked around his neighborhood. A white blanket of snow covered the street and houses._

_To sum it up, Logan felt horrible. It was cold, he got beat up by two guys on the hockey team, and to top it all off, he got into a fight with his mom. As he sat in the porch stairs of his house, he couldn't help but feel angry. How could his mother say all those things about Kendall and not even feel guilty about it?_

_Sure, it was true. Kendall left him alone in the locker room. And it's true that Kendall was kind of ignoring Logan's phone calls. It was also true that Kendall was kind of mad at him...BUT STILL! None of this was Kendall's fault._

_Logan's eyes perked up as he saw a black BMW drive up and park. _

_His dad was home. Logan smiled._

_"Hey, kiddo," Alexander greeted his son as he got out of his car and approached the sad teen. He noticed the look of helplessness on Logan's face, not to mention the light bruise on his cheek. "What happened?"_

_Logan quickly stood up, his eyes widening. "It's not Kendall's fault!" he rushed out._

_Alexander raised an eyebrow. "Okay," he replied. "Did I ask if Kendall did this to you?" He watched as Logan shook his head. "Okay," he continued. "Now, did Kendall do this to you?" Once again, Logan shook his head. "So why would I think it was Kendall's fault?"_

_Logan sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "M-mom," he stuttered. _

_Alexander sighed. He signaled for Logan to sit back down on the stairs. Alexander followed Logan's motions and sat down on the stairs as well. "Okay, Logan. What happened?" he asked._

_Logan sighed again. This time it was a nervous sigh. "We had finished practice," Logan began. "I said somethings to Kendall that...that I shouldn't have. Kendall didn't exactly say he was mad...but I could tell. He was really quiet and he left practice right after. I was in the locker rooms, waiting for a shower to open up so I tried calling him a few times but...Kendall never answered."_

_"So what happened after that?" Alexander asked after his son stopped speaking._

_"Two guys on the hockey team saw me sitting by myself," Logan continued. "They really hate Kendall and James. They think Kendall and James are too cocky."_

_Alexander nodded, urging Logan to continue._

_"They started messing around with me," Logan said. "I was scared, but I tried not to show it...well... I guess they could tell how scared I was because they started making fun of me. Th-they called me names and then started making fun of James and Kendall." Logan swallowed. "I got mad and punched one of them," he finally confessed._

_Alexander's facial features softened. "Where were James and Carlos during all of this?"_

_"I asked James to go after Kendall," Logan answered. "And the coach called in Carlos to talk about his behavior." Logan sighed. "Mom's mad at Kendall but it's really not his fault!"_

_Alexander put his hand on Logan's shoulder. "It's okay, Logan," he soothed. "I'll talk to your mother. You're probably worried about Kendall," he observed, earning a nod from Logan. "Why don't you go talk to him while I talk to your mother. I want everything to be okay between you kids."_

_Logan let a small smile appear on his face. "Thanks, Dad," he said as he rose from his sitting position. He started making his way to Kendall's house, hoping to make everything right, hoping nothing will ever come between the two of them ever again._

Logan's eyes slowly cracked open. He was a bit confused about why of all dreams, he had that one, a flashback of an event that happened three years ago. Logan started looking around the room. He thought he was alone, until his sleepy eyes met Camille's.

"Hey, sleepyhead," she greeted. She was in different clothes than she was yesterday.

He slowly sat up.

"Kendall and James are on their way," she informed.

Logan raised an eyebrow. What about Carlos? He reached over to the table next to him, grabbing his whiteboard. _Carlos? _

"He's not feeling too well," Camille answered. "James and Kendall made him stay home with Mrs. Knight and Katie. It's best that he gets sleep right now."

Logan nodded. _You should go and get some rest, _Logan recommended to Camille.

"I _have _gotten rest," she argued.

Logan shook his head. _Sleeping on these beds CANNOT be counted as real rest,_ he countered. As if Logan aimed to prove his point, he began shifting his body as he tried to get more comfortable.

"You can't get rid of me too easily," she said, kissing his forehead. She sighed. "Logan...do you know how exactly Katie's doing?"

Logan looked down. _She's still barely talking to anyone, _he wrote, based on what James had updated him on last night. _She's mad. Mad at herself. Kendall. Her mom maybe. I wouldn't be surprised if she was mad at me, James, and Carlos._

Camille hummed. "You think she'd let me spend the evening with her?" she asked, hoping she could help out.

Logan smiled. _I sure hope so. Maybe she'd be comfortable talking to you._

* * *

"I'm sorry, Carlitos," James said with a sad sigh.

"What?" Carlos asked, the sadness he felt was evident in his voice and facial expression. "Why can't I see Logan?" He was curled up in bed, feeling worse than he did yesterday, but he couldn't see why visiting Logan was not possible for him.

James sighed once again. He hated separating Carlos from Logan but he knew he had to. "Because you're sick buddy," he finally answered. Trying not to pay attention to the sad look that Carlos was giving him. "You can't see Logan like this, especially since he's still in a little weak. He could get sick again, and we don't want that happening again, right?"

"But I gotta be there for Logan!" he weakly argued. Logan was getting the last cast off his leg today and Carlos wanted to be there. He had to!

"But _you've_ gotta stay in bed," James responded. "Kendall and I are gonna see him. Once we explain what's going on, Logan will understand. Besides, Logan would hate us if we let you leave the house while you're sick."

"But I'm fine," Carlos insisted.

James scoffed. "Your fever says different."

"It's only a hundred point nine!" Carlos whined. That wasn't too bad, right?

James sighed. "I'm really sorry, Carlitos," he sincerely said. "But you gotta stay home. Mama Knight and Katie will be home to take care of you. Trust me, if we could take you, we would."

"O-okay," Carlos finally muttered in defeat.

"At-ta boy," Kendall said with a half-smile. He felt like a hypocrite. Kendall hadn't been feeling too well, either, light-headed and a little dizzy, and he knew that rest was probably something he needed right now. But he couldn't get himself to speak up. He wanted to see Logan just as much as, if not more than, Carlos. "We'll see you in the evening."

"And we'll be sure to send Logan your love," James promised with a smile. He bent down and ruffled Carlos' damp hair. "I'm sure you'll be better tomorrow."

Carlos watched helplessly as James and Kendall left the room. He groaned, seeing as how he'd be trapped in his bed all day under the mercy of Mama Knight's care. He just hoped that she wouldn't pull out the big spoon.

As if she was reading Carlos' mind, Mama Knight walked into Carlos' room. She sat on the edge of Carlos' bed. "Oh, sweetie," she said, placing her hand on his forehead. "You must be devastated."

"I wanna go see Logan," Carlos replied. "Of all days why did I have to get sick now?"

Mama Knight ran her fingers through Carlos' hair. "Logan will be home soon," she reminded him. "We just have to wait a few more days." She sighed, seeing the sad expression on Carlos' face. "You boys are always together," she muttered. "I can't remember a time where you boys aren't together. I know this is hard for you...just get some rest, okay?"

Carlos nodded. "Okay," he replied.

Mama Knight rose off the bed. "If you need _anything_," she said.

"I know," Carlos said, cutting off what she was gonna say. "Call you."

She kissed his forehead. "Good boy," she replied with a smile before leaving the room.

* * *

James and Kendall were in the car, finally on the way to the hospital after picking up a few things for Logan and Camille. James, of course, was the one to take the wheel, seeing as how Kendall still refuses to drive. In all honesty, James was surprised that Kendall could even handle being in a car. It was too easy to make Kendall feel guilty about something. And once he felt guilty, it took forever to make him realize that it wasn't his fault.

For example, the car accident.

That's why James was very surprised at the comment Kendall made.

"I almost asked you if I could drive today," Kendall said, scoffing in the process.

James' eyebrows perked up. "Really?" he asked. "Why didn't you?"

Kendall shrugged. "Chickened out, I guess," he replied. He ran his fingers through his hair. "It's stupid. It's been over a month."

James nodded. "I know," he said. "But that doesn't mean anything," he reassured. "You start driving when you feel you're ready, not because you feel stupid."

Kendall squeezed his eyes shut, the rate of his breathing increasing.

James' eyes widened. "Kendall?" he asked in concern at the sudden change of demeanor in his friend. He was certain Kendall was about to have a panic attack. "Are you okay?"

Kendall nodded, his eyes still closed. "I'm fine," he said, slowly opening his eyes.

"Then what was that?" James asked.

Kendall shrugged. "Sometimes when I talk about the accident, I start feeling a little funny," Kendall confessed. "I guess the talk of driving made me a little nervous."

"Oh, Kendall," James said, pulling the car into the hospital parking lot. "I'm so sorry."

Kendall shook his head. "It's not your fault," he said. "I'm sorry for scaring you like that. I'm okay."

"Okay," James breathed out, nodding his head. He made it a point to be more careful with his conversation topics. James parked the car. He quickly turned off the engine, and he and Kendall got out of the car, both of them carrying paper bags, heading to Logan's room.

At this point, they could walk to Logan's room with their eyes closed.

"Hey, Logan. Hey, Camille," James greeted as he and Kendall entered Logan's room.

"Hey," Camille replied with a wave. She watched as James and Kendall took a seat.

_Hey guys, _Logan greeted with a huge smile.

Kendall raised his paper bag in the air. "Look what we got ya, buddy!"

Logan's eyes brightened as he gasped. Goods from Cookie Haus, Logan's favorite bakery. He and the guys would go there every week. He'd been in the hospital, this whole time without anything from the bakery, and it had been torture.

James started looking through the bag. "Let's see here," he said. "We have cookies, danishes, crapes, crème puffs, brownies, oooh! Jelly filled donuts!"

_Gimme some! _Logan furiously wrote on his whiteboard. He was practically drooling at the sights of all his favorites.

"Eat your heart out Logan," Kendall said as he handed the happy boy two cookies. Kendall laughed as Logan happily grabbed the two cookies from Kendall's hands and helped himself. He took one bite out of the cookie and melted.

James reached into the bag, handing Camille a jelly filled donut, before grabbing crème puffs for himself.

Kendall was excited too. He grabbed a brownie and took a bite, but gagged at the taste.

"Whoa, Kendall," James said, ignoring his dessert. At the sound of James' worried voice, Camille and Logan stopped eating as well. "Are you okay?" James asked.

Kendall nodded. "This brownie tastes funny," he commented.

James shook his way. "No way something from Cookie Haus tastes weird." It was just impossible.

"Taste it, dude," Kendall said, shoving the brownie in James' face.

James took the brownie and took a bite. He chewed slowly, then shrugged. "It's fine, dude," he countered.

Kendall's shoulders slumped.

_If you don't want it,_ Logan wrote. _I'll gladly take it off your hands. _A big smile crossed his face as he hoped Kendall would say yes.

Kendall shook his head, he and Camille chuckled as they saw Logan's facial expression drop. Kendall took another bite out of the dessert. Maybe the metal taste would pass?

James and Logan finished their treats...along with several others. Camille and Kendall tried a cookie.

They were sad to see that all their treats were almost gone, but they started cracking jokes. Kendall took the last cookie, laughing at Logan's face, who had a signature Carlos pout on his face.

But suddenly, the laughter stopped.

The cookie dropped from Kendall's hands.

"Kendall?" Camille asked, feeling worried at Kendall's sudden change of demeanor.

Kendall didn't responded. He just stared wide-eyed.

Before James could call out Kendall's name, the blonde began violently shaking. James jumped into action, getting out of his seat and reaching out to steady Kendall, who was coming out of his seat.

"CAMILLE! CALL FOR A DOCTOR!"

* * *

**Well...we ALMOST had a happy ending LOL**


	23. Bond

**I'm a bit happy with the way this chapter turned out**. **I hope you feel the same way!**

**Also, thank you very much for all the wonderful reviews I've gotten for this story! :D**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Logan watched in complete horror.

"CAMILLE! CALL FOR A DOCTOR!" he heard James cry out. It was obvious to Logan what was happening to Kendall, he just wished that he never would have to see it.

Kendall was having a seizure. Logan didn't know why, but it also didn't take a doctor to know what was going on.

Everything seemed like it was all happening in slow motion.

James tried holding Kendall down, trying his best to prevent the blonde from hurting himself. Kendall helplessly shook, the violent tremors controlling his body. Camille stared wide-eyed, pressing the call button repeatedly until someone came in.

What made Logan feel even worse about the whole thing was the fact that he couldn't do anything to help. He felt weak and completely helpless.

Finally, after what seemed like years when it was really just a couple of minutes, Doctor Wilson barged in. Her eyes immediately fell to Kendall after seeing that Logan, her original patient, was okay.

She rushed over to Kendall, whose convulsions had lessened.

"Has he had seizures before?" she asked James as she motioned for him to help her. She wanted to lay Kendall on the ground and couldn't do it without James' assistance.

James dumbly nodded. "O-once," he choked out. He stole a glance at Camille, who was trying to calm Logan down, but that wasn't easy.

"Okay," Doctor Wilson replied after Kendall was laid on the ground, turned on his side for extra measure.

James painfully watched Kendall convulse for a few more seconds before finally, Kendall stopped moving. It was at that moment that James stopped breathing. The last time Kendall had a seizure, he didn't wake up. The last time Kendall had a seizure, he almost died.

James released a breath of relief when Kendall began blinking, looking around the room in a confused manner. He slowly started to get up, struggling a bit, but was stopped by Doctor Wilson. James pulled Kendall in, allowing Kendall's head to rest on his lap.

Kendall looked to Doctor Wilson then James, and finally, to Camille and Logan, both of them trying their best not to shed any tears, but were failing miserably. Kendall's gaze quickly shot back to James. "Wh-what happened?"

"Y-you had another seizure," James struggled to say as he brushed away Kendall's now sweaty bangs.

Kendall stared at James, completely confused, until only one thought could form in his mind. He sighed, his eyes drooping a bit. "Tired," he breathed out, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep on this floor he was already laying on.

"I know you are, sweetie," Doctor Wilson said kindly. "James said you've had a seizure before, but I still want to get a room and check you out, okay?"

Kendall's eyes suddenly widened and he shook his head. "I don't wanna leave my friends," he muttered pathetically.

Doctor Wilson sent James and Kendall a sympathetic look.

James finally sighed, running his shaky hands through his hair. "Do you think you c-can bring an extra bed in here for him?" he asked the doctor. "You know, if that's not too much trouble?"

Doctor Wilson let a sympathetic smile cross her face. "I'll be back," she announced before she rose off the ground in order to leave the room and fulfill James' request.

"Thank you," James said as she left the room.

* * *

"Hi, Katie," Jennifer said to her daughter who was sitting on the couch, playing her video games. Jennifer took a seat next to her. She needed to talk about something serious, and she wanted to have Katie's full attention. "Can we talk?" she asked kindly.

Katie sighed. Knowing her mother, this conversation would be about Kendall and much she needed to be nicer to her older brother. Did her mom not understand that was easier said than done? Katie looked at her mother before continuing her game. "Sorry, Mom," she replied. "I'm too busy saving the world over here."

On normal occasions, Jennifer would have rolled her eyes and walked away, planning to try again next time. But times were different now. Jennifer didn't plan on sugar-coating the reason why she needed to talk to Katie, and she didn't plan on being ignored this time. She grabbed Katie's video game, closing the portable device and glaring at her daughter.

"Mom!" Katie cried out in surprise.

"Katherine Knight!" Jennifer angrily replied. If that didn't get Katie's attention then nothing would. "I need to talk to you and you _will _listen."

Katie opened to reply fiercely, but stopped when she saw the fire coming from her mother's eyes. Jennifer hadn't gotten much sleep this past month and it was showing.

Jennifer sighed, still tightly gripping Katie's game. "I'm sorry, sweetie," she said after looking at the shocked expression coming from Katie's eyes. "It's just..."

"I know, Mom," Katie quickly said, nodding. "I'm sorry I ignored you. I just know what you're gonna talk about and I don't want to hear it..." she said truthfully.

Jennifer looked down, playing with her fingers. She raised her eyes to look at Katie. "But I need to talk to you. And you need to listen."

"I already know it's about Kendall," Katie said with bitterness in her voice.

Jennifer nodded. "I know you do," she responded. "But that doesn't change what I have to say." She paused for a while. Once Katie made no move to argue, she continued. "I know what Kendall did was very hard for us to handle," Jennifer began, swallowing the lump in her throat. "But now, more than ever, he needs us to be there for him. I understand why you're mad at him...Kendall tried leaving us but...but the point is, he's still with us now and it wasn't his fault."

Katie scoffed. "No one shoved those pills down his throat except him," she pointed out.

Jennifer shook her head. "You still have no idea what went on with Kendall, do you?"

Katie remained silent. What was that supposed to mean?

"Katie, the things Joanna said to him," Jennifer said.

"What?" Katie asked. "Wh-what did Mrs. Mitchell say?"

"Joanna said some really nasty things to Kendall that I still can't believe she said," Jennifer began. "To put it simply, she was talking to Kendall behind our back, repeatedly blaming him for the accident. Kendall was too afraid to tell me what was going on. Kendall was already blaming himself for the accident, Joanna..." Jennifer sighed. "Kendall already felt horrible about the whole thing, Joanna...made it worse. Kendall needs everybody, including you, to be there for him. Can you help me with that sweetie?" she finally asked. "Can you show Kendall the same love you had for him before he...before he tried to kill himself?"

Katie stared at her mother for a while, debating on what her answer should be.

"If you can't do it for Kendall, can you do it for me?" Jennifer asked, praying that her daughter say yes.

Katie finally opened her mouth, ready to provide an answer to her mother's question and speak her mind. Sadly, she was interrupted by the sound of her mother's cell phone ringing.

Jennifer gave Katie an apologetic look before answering her phone. Hello?" she answered. "Y-yes. Why?"

Katie's eyes widened at the sight of her mother's face paling by several shades. "Mom?" Katie asked. "What's wrong?"

"Okay," Jennifer said to whoever was talking to her. "We're be there soon," she said before hanging up.

"Mom what's wrong?" Katie asked again as her and Jennifer rose from the couch.

"We have to go to the hospital," Jennifer announced, her eyes watering up slightly.

"Logan?" Katie asked.

Jennifer shook her head. "Kendall," she choked out.

* * *

After a few routine check ups, Doctor Wilson left the room once again, allowing Kendall to sleep on the extra bed provided. The poor blonde was knocked out, the effects of the seizure and the boring check ups had left him exhausted, and he could do nothing more than to fall asleep and fall into a deep unconsciousness.

James was beginning to get worried. "Hey," he said in a gentle manner to Logan as he approached the boy. Logan had only stopped crying for a little bit before suddenly, he was sobbing like crazy.

James carefully approached Logan and Camille, who was slowly stopping in her crying.

Camille let go of Logan, allowing James to take her place. While the two of them comforted each other, she walked a few steps to Kendall's bedside, grabbing Kendall's hand in hopes of letting him know that he wasn't alone.

James embraced Logan, running his fingers through Logan's hair, just like he always did whenever said boy had a nightmare.

"I know it seemed bad," James said in a low voice. "But everything's okay. Kendall's fine. We just had a small setback."

At the sound of "small setback", Logan began sobbing even harder. James felt Logan's skinny shoulders tremble with each sob and he sent the crying boy a worried look. He wished Logan could talk right now. Logan would be too distraught to write anything down.

"I'm sorry you had to see that buddy," James continued to say. "But you heard Doctor Wilson. It was just a residual seizure. Kendall will be fine. He just needs rest, okay?"

It took Logan a while, but after a few seconds, he finally nodded.

"Kendall doesn't wanna see you crying when he wakes up, okay? James said, hoping that would lighten Logan's mood a little.

Once again, Logan nodded. He let go off James, reaching over for his whiteboard. With shaky hands he began writing.

_Kendall's never going to be the same, is_ _he?_

James shook his head. "Of course Kendall will be the same," he quickly said. "It's just gonna take some time. Just like you getting your voice back."_  
_

_Tell me about the first time, _Logan asked, seeing as how he was never really told of what exactly happened the day Kendall was brought into the hospital.

James sighed. "I...I don't know, Logan," he replied. "I don't think it's a good idea right now."

Logan looked at James with pleading eyes. _Please, James. I'm tired of being kept in the dark about everything. Please tell me. I wanna know._

James sighed, debating whether of not Logan needed to be informed of what happened. James knew that either way, Logan would worry himself sick about it. James ran his fingers through his hair, beginning the story. "Katie bought us all matching bracelets...you know...to match the one she bought for you earlier. She walked into Kendall's room to give him his bracelet but..." James looked down. He felt Logan grab his hand and gently squeeze it. James' eyes met Logan, and James could tell that Logan wanted him to continue the story, but at the same time, Logan was trying to comfort James. James swallowed. "We heard Katie scream, so Carlos and I ran to Kendall's room...Logan he...he wouldn't stop shaking. We had no idea how it was happening. Carlos was calling 911 when...Kendall just stopped moving. But that time, he didn't wake up. I...I thought he was dead."

Logan latched himself to James. It was hard for James to relive that story, and it was hard for Logan to hear about it.

James started rubbing circles into Logan's back. "I'm so sorry, Logan," James whispered, squeezing Logan harder than he should. "I wish I could protect you from all this. I wish we didn't have that accident. I wish it was me instead of you. I wish me and the guys hadn't dragged you out of the apartment and forced you to go with us to that party. I'm really sorry, Logan. You don't deserve any of this."

Logan let a few mores tears fall from his face before he wiped them away.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, James looked down at him. "Are you okay now, buddy?"

Logan looked at James. His teary, brown eyes met James' concerned hazel ones. Finally, Logan shrugged. He really didn't know if he was okay or not. He stole a glance at Kendall, who stirred in his sleep while Camille adjusted his pillow.

"Hey," James' voice made Logan focus on James once again. "He'll be okay."

Logan nodded, a feeling of doubt still growing in the pit of his stomach.

Would _anything_ be okay?

* * *

Two hours later, Kendall's eyes finally fluttered open. He could feel his mother's small hand running through his hair. "M-mom?" Kendall weakly spoke.

"Hey, sweetie," she greeted kindly. A small smile crept on her face as she continued ruffling Kendall's hair in hopes of comforting him. "How are you feeling?"

Kendall sighed, still a bit tired. "I really had another seizure?" he asked, hoping that everything was just a dream. He closed his eyes and deeply exhaled after Jennifer nodded. Kendall turned his head, seeing James, Camille, Katie, and Carlos surrounding Logan. "I scared him," Kendall said. "I scared Logan."

Jennifer shook her head. "No you didn't Kendall," she said trying to comfort him.

Kendall sat up, and finally, people on the other side of the room noticed that he was awake.

"Kendall?" Carlos asked, being the first one to notice Kendall's movements. "Kendall, are you okay?" James, Logan, Katie, and Camille all turned their attention to Kendall as well.

Kendall nodded. "I'm sorry," he muttered.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Jennifer said. "The important thing is that you get better, okay?"

"Okay," Kendall replied. He turned to Logan and Camille. "Are...are you two okay?" he asked.

The two of them quickly nodded.

"We're fine, Kendall," Camille said. "It's you we were worried about."

"I scared the two of you," Kendall said. He felt embarrassed about the whole thing.

Logan shook his head.

"No you didn't," Camille countered.

"You're lying," Kendall said. "I saw you. I saw the looks on your faces. I scared the two of you and I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Kendall," Camille reassured. She smiled. "We're okay knowing that you're okay."

Kendall looked down. He felt bad. People, including Logan, were worrying about him, when actually, the person everyone needed to worry about was Logan. None of this would have happened if Kendall didn't swallow those pills in the first place.

"Kendall," a small voice caused the blonde to snap his head back up to face the person that called him. He looked into Katie's big brown eyes, which for the first time since his suicide attempt, showed nothing but concern.

"K-Katie?" Kendall asked, a bit confused.

Kendall's sister slowly approached him. She sat on the edge of the bed and put her arms around him.

At first, Kendall froze, completely shocked by his sister's actions. But finally, after seeing that Katie wasn't going to let go, he mirrored her actions and latched his arms around her. "K-Katie," he whispered, feeling his eyes water.

"Shh," Katie said, holding her brother tighter. "I should be the one apologizing." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I shouldn't have abandoned you like that and I'm sorry...But I promise...I'll never hurt you like that again."

Kendall nodded, feeling the tears falling from his closed eyes. He didn't care that he was crying in front of everybody. All that mattered was that he got his sister back.

James and Logan looked at each other, both of them having hope in their eyes.

Maybe James was right. Maybe things _could _get better.

* * *

**Look! Happy chapter ending! So...will this happiness last, or will their still be some drama?**

**Only I know MUHAHAHAAHAHA!**

**What didja think?**


	24. Opening of Old Wounds

**So in my last chapter of Evil Resurrected, I left an A/N saying that you should give a certain someone a hug for making me update quickly. Seriously, the note still stands. If it wasn't for winterschild11, this update wouldn't have come :P**

**Thanks for getting me to to 500 reviews! I have 526 now. How fast can I get to 600? You guys rock!  
**

**Hope you enjoy!  
**

* * *

Logan glared at his mother as she entered the room. He didn't want to talk to her. He _couldn't _talk to her, especially after yesterday.

"Hi, Logan," Joanna said as she and her husband walked into the room. The two of them had heard of Kendall's hospitalization yesterday, and as much as they wanted to be with Logan for the whole day, they decided to give the boys some time together.

Logan sighed.

"Something wrong, son?" Alexander asked after seeing how distant his son had suddenly become.

Logan shook his head and looked away.

"That's a lie," Alexander quickly said. "What's going on?"

Logan sighed, his shaky hands reaching for his whiteboard. _Kendall had another seizure._

"I know, sweetie," Joanna said. "But Kendall's okay now."

Logan shook his head. _You don't get it,_ he angrily wrote. _The doctor said that Kendall may continue to have those_ seizures. After Kendall's seizure and check up, Doctor Wilson announced that there was a possibility that his seizures would continue to come back. She wasn't certain for how long. It could be days, weeks, months, or years, but either way, Kendall would have to always be careful, always watching out for when the next seizure might come.

Logan could only imagine how Kendall felt about all of this. All it took was one day. One day, he took those pills, asking for death. Instead of death, he got seizures, as if Kendall was being punished for trying to kill himself.

Alexander sighed. He had an idea of where this conversation was going and honestly, he couldn't think of a way to stop it.

"Logan," his mother said cautiously. "I know these events have been a lot for you to handle," she paused when she saw Logan begin writing. She knew that if he could, Logan would have cut her off from speaking. "But you need to understand that your father and I are trying to always be there for you, especially now."

_My best friend almost died,_ Logan simply wrote, a sad expression on his face.

"And so did you," Alexander reminded him. "But your mom and I are grateful that the two of you are here and alive with us."

Logan looked down. _Kendall wouldn't have swallowed all those pills if_

"If what?" Joanna suddenly asked, stopping Logan from writing. "If I hadn't yelled at him? If I hadn't blamed this accident on him? How many times do I have to say that I'm sorry?"

_I honestly don't know,_ Logan answered. He didn't know when, or if, he would forgive his mother. All he knew was that Kendall would have to deal with this for the rest of his life because of his mother's actions. It killed Logan just thinking about it.

Tears were forming in Joanna's eyes, but Logan didn't care to notice. Who noticed when Kendall was crying by himself?

"Logan," his father said in a calm voice. "Your mother has apologized. She really regrets everything she said and did and she really needs you to forgive her."

Logan listened to his father speak. Though it was true that Logan believed that everyone should be forgiven, he also couldn't forget the scars this whole experience left on Logan and all of his friends.

Logan sighed. His mother should have thought about all of this before Kendall tried to take his life. Did she not know how powerful words can be...especially to Kendall?

"Sweetie," Joanna said. "I'm sorry," she said. "Really sorry. I hurt you. I hurt Kendall. And I hurt Jennifer. Don't you think I feel guilty for that?"

Logan looked down. His mother brought up a good point. Jennifer and Joanna were best friends. He could imagine that his mother felt bad for hurting the son of one of her best friends. _It's just that Kendall had a seizure. He had a seizure right in front of me and I couldn't do a thing about it, _Logan slowly wrote down. This time, it was Logan's turn to feel tears forming in his eyes.

Doctor Wilson walked into the room. Logan quickly wiped at his eyes and tried to look as cheerful as possible. He noticed that his mother was doing the same.

"Who's ready to get their final cast taken off?" Doctor Wilson asked happily, glad that Logan was making such progress.

Logan let a big smile appear on his face.

"I thought you were," she replied. "I bet you're even happier knowing that you're going home in two days, huh?"

Logan nodded. Two days were so close but to him it seemed like an eternity away.

"So excited to leave me?" the doctor asked, putting her hands on her hips.

_You're cool,_ Logan wrote. _"But forgive me if I say that this place isn't exactly one of my favorite hang out spots._

Doctor Wilson chuckled. "I understand," she replied. "Now. Let's get that itchy cast off, shall we?"

Logan nodded with a smile. But the smile soon faded when he looked to his dad.

Alexander had a look on his face that Logan knew very well. _We're going to finish talking about this later._

* * *

The day at the hospital yesterday made Carlos feel even more sick. By the time he had come home from the hospital, he was dizzy and had a headache, not to mention how exhausted he felt.

He curled up in his bed. He felt horrible and he can't remember the last time he felt this bad.

James slowly walked on, wanting to check on his sick friend. "Hey, buddy," he said, peeking his head through the door. His smiling face quickly turned into that of worry when he saw the look on Carlos' face. "Whoa little guy," James said as he approached Carlos' bedside. He crouched down, placing his hand on Carlos' forehead. "You're really sick aren't you?"

Carlos groaned. "Make the room stop spinning," he pitifully muttered.

"Tell me what hurts," James commanded.

"My head," Carlos answered with a whine. "It hurts really bad."

James sighed. "And it looks like your fever went up too," he pointed out. He really didn't know what to do. Helping sick people was Logan's role.

James stood up. "Lemme get you some medicine for that headache and fever, okay?" he offered.

Carlos simply nodded as James took his leave. James went quickly to the bathroom, the first place he looked was in the medicine cabinet.

James raised an eyebrow in confusion. The medicine cabinet was nearly empty, and there was no sign of medicine anywhere. It's as if someone had completely cleaned out the apartment of any pills.

James raised an eyebrow in confusion. He knew that Kendall wiped out the last bottle of aspirin in the apartment. James shuddered at that realization. Kendall had swallowed almost a whole bottle of pills. He shook that thought out of his head. "Okay...where did the rest of the medicines go?" James whispered to himself as he looked through all the cabinets of the bathroom.

"Wh-what are you looking for?" a voice asked, causing James to halt his actions.

James turned, seeing Kendall standing at the doorway. "S-some medicine," he answered. "Carlos is really sick." He didn't want to ask Kendall if he knew where any of their medicines were, but Carlos was in pure agony and James was desperate to get something for his sick friend. "Have you seen where the Tylenol is or something?"

Kendall shook his head. "We don't have anymore?" he asked.

"No," James said with a sigh.

Kendall couldn't help but feel just as confused as James. "That's weird," Kendall commented.

James looked at Kendall, looking into those emerald eyes for answers. "K-Kendall," James began, his eyes widening. "Y-you haven't been-"

"No, James!" Kendall replied before his taller friend could finish. He already knew where this was going and he didn't like it. "I can't believe you!"

"I'm sorry, Kendall!" James replied apologetically. "I'm sorry...I just..." James stopped, not knowing how to justify his accusation. "I didn't mean it," he finally said in a low voice as Kendall rolled his eyes and walked away.

James released a heavy sigh. He couldn't believe he had just done that. He could only imagine how angry Kendall must be right now.

James left the bathroom to find Carlos, who was still in bed. Thankfully, sometime during his wait for medicine, Carlos had fallen asleep. James adjusted Carlos' blanket, completely covering the sick boy. "Sleep tight, Carlos," James whispered.

With a sigh, James left the bedroom and went into the living room. He turned on the TV, not really paying attention to what was playing.

A few minutes later, Katie joined him, already knowing that something bad was going on.

"What's wrong?" she asked after seeing James.

James shook his head. "Nothing," he answered as he began flipping channels.

"What happened?" Katie asked once again, not believing James for a second.

James sighed. "A whole bunch of medicine is missing..." he began. "I might have insinuated that Kendall...you know..."

Katie slowly nodded. She looked to James, nothing but regret shown in her eyes. "I took them."

James eyes widened. "What?"

"I took all the pills," she explained. "Wh-when Kendall was sent to the hospital the _first time_, I went through the medicine cabinets and threw them all away." She started playing with her fingers.

"You did?" James asked.

Katie guiltily nodded.

"Wow," James said in amazement. It had been almost two weeks since Kendall's suicide attempt, and James was surprised at how long it had taken him to finally notice that the pills were all gone.

"I didn't mean to do anything bad," Katie said in defense. "I was just scared that...that Kendall would try _it_ again and I couldn't risk that so I threw them all out."

James just looked at Katie, seeing tears coming to her eyes.

"It's okay, Katie," James said, wrapping an arm around her. "I understand. And you did the right thing, okay?"

Katie remained silent for a while. "You think Kendall's gonna be mad?"

James shook his head. "No, of course not...well not at _you._" He sighed, running his fingers through his hair, knowing how much he had upset Kendall with just that small question. "But you did this to protect Kendall from...himself. I think he'd really appreciate that."

Katie let a small smile appear on her face. "Okay," she replied silently.

* * *

Jennifer walked into the apartment a few hours later.

The very first thing she saw when she walked in was James and Katie curled up on the couch. James was covered with a blanket, fast asleep, and Katie looked like she was on her way too.

"Katie," Jennifer said as she walked in. "Is everything okay?"

Katie nodded. "James fell asleep about an hour ago. I don't think he's been sleeping very well."

Jennifer nodded. "I know, sweetie," she said as she approached Katie. "And you haven't been either."

"I know," Katie said, looking down. "But I'm fine. Honest."

"Katie, you barely noticed when I walked in," Jennifer pointed out. "So don't lie to me."

Katie replied with a sigh.

"I'm gonna check on Carlos and Kendall," Jennifer announced. She bent down and kissed Katie's forehead. "Why don't you get some rest, okay?"

Katie hesitated, but she finally nodded.

Jennifer smiled as she watched Katie get more comfortable next to James. She curled up even more, seeking James large body for comfort.

Jennifer checked on Carlos first. The small boy was still in bed, the sound of soft snores filling the room. Jennifer smiled at the adorable sight in front of her.

She next went to Kendall and Logan's shared room. Logan would be home in a couple of days so Jennifer was excited, and she could tell that the boys were excited too. Jennifer opened the door to the room. Kendall was laying in bed, but she noticed it wasn't his bed he was sleeping in.

It was Logan's.

She approached Kendall's bedside, bending down to kiss him as well.

All of her kids were currently resting and in a peaceful state. She smiled at that thought as she began leaving the room. She was at the door when she turned back around and looked at her son once more, before finally leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

* * *

**I understand if you got bored with that. But...for those of you reading ER, I'll make up for it! Be on the look out for its next update because I swear y'all might die of shock and heart attacks!**

**Also, I started a Knight sibling fic called The Official Story. Check it out?  
**

**What didja think of this chapter?  
**


	25. Going Home

**Thank you so much 3  
**

**Enjoy! :)  
**

* * *

Logan impatiently tapped his fingers on his left thigh, forming a beat that wasn't really making any sense.

On regular days, he would care. But not today.

He was going home today. The closer time got for him to be discharged, the slower time seemed to move.

"Someone's excited," James pointed out as he noticed Logan's jittery demeanor. He and Camille were the ones who would bring Logan home today. The two of them had packed one of Logan's favorite outfits in a duffel bag for him to change into. They all viewed this as a special occasion and felt that Logan deserved to be dressed as such.

In 2J it was decided that Carlos should still stay home until he was better, and that someone needed to stay home and help take care of him. James was shocked when Kendall hastily agreed. On the way to the hospital, though, it finally made sense. After everything that had been going on, Kendall wanted someone to take care of. He needed to do something to make himself feel needed again.

Kendall wanted to take care of others, not to be taken care of.

He wanted to be the leader again.

James wouldn't be surprised if Logan went home and the first thing he tries to do is take care of Carlos as well.

_I just wanna go home, _Logan wrote in desperation. Why couldn't time just move faster?

Camille chuckled. "You have an hour and a half left," she reminded him. "I think you can live for that much longer." She knew and understood that after being in the hospital for about a month and a half, Logan was probably _dying _as time went by so slowly.

"Don't worry, little Logie," he said, causing Logan to give him an angry look. James just smiled. "When we go to the apartment, you can relax, for real this time. The guys, Camille, and I are gonna make sure you're comfortable and we're all gonna make sure that you have as much fun as possible to make up for the time you've lost in this place."

_Thanks, _Logan replied with a shy smile. _I can't even BEGIN to imagine what you guys have in store for me. _

James rubbed the back of his neck. For starters, he felt that before he could do anything else with Logan, he needed to apologize to Kendall after what happened yesterday. The blonde had acted a bit cold toward James this morning, and James couldn't help but feel like a huge jerk.

"Don't worry, Logan," Camille said, taking one of his hands and holding it. "Time will go by faster than you know."

_I sure hope so,_ he wrote with his free hand. He prayed that time would go faster. He just wanted to be home right now, where he should have been for the past month. But that wasn't the case, and it was all some drunk driver's fault.

Not Kendall's fault, but the drunk driver's fault.

_"You hear that, Mom?" _Logan said in his head. _"The drunk's fault, not Kendall's."_ Logan released a large sigh.

"But keep in mind, Logan," James began in a serious voice. "We have to pick up your pain meds on the way home. You'll have to be taking them regularly and since they'll make you tired easily we can't do _too _much, you understand?"

Logan looked down before he sadly nodded. He sighed once again. _That's okay, _he finally wrote. _At least I'll be home. That's all that really matters._

Camille smiled. "And you better be ready to see more of me, mister," she warned playfully. "I'm gonna be making sure that you're taken care of."

James looked at her in mock offense. "You don't think that _I _can take care of him?" he asked.

"Of course I do," Camille replied, unsure of her answer. "But let's be honest. Who's better at taking care of someone. Three guys, or one awesome girl?"

James looked to Logan. "Help me out, dude!"

Logan quickly pointed to Camille, earning a jaw-drop from James. He could totally take care of Logan...if he knew how.

Logan started writing to defend himself. _Girlfriend! _was all he could write, figuring that one word could sum up everything.

James just rolled his eyes.

"Speaking of pain meds," Camille spoke up as a sudden thought hit her. She also figured this would be a perfect way to end a battle she had just sparked. "Logan, how's your leg? You were supposed to call me last night but you never did."

Logan nodded._ I'm real sorry. I feel asleep right after Dr Wilson checked up on me. _He looked to James before he began writing again. _My parents called the guys but I guess they forgot to tell you. My leg's fine. She said that I'll be walking with a limp for a while, but it won't hurt me too much. I'll be subject to physical therapy for a while. But other than that, all's well,_ he finished with a smile, knowing that Camille couldn't resist smiling back.

Doctor Wilson walked in with a smile on her face. She was sad that Logan was leaving, but it made her so happy to see how much he had improved.

The three teenagers in the room became silent as she walked in. "I can tell someone's ready to go," she said cheerfully.

Logan nodded.

"Okay," she replied. "You'll go through a few check ups with me before you leave. Congratulations. You're going home."

Those words were music to Logan's ears.

* * *

Kendall and Carlos were in the living room. Kendall was sitting on the couch, while Carlos was laying down, his head resting on Kendall's lap.

"Logie's really coming back today?" Carlos asked, still ecstatic about the whole thing.

Kendall smiled. He knew that Logan was coming back today, but it was nice hearing it out loud. "Yeah, buddy," he answered. He placed his hand on Carlos' forehead, feeling the heat still coming from the sick Latino.

Carlos smiled as well.

"I'm sure he's gonna be very happy being back here," Kendall said, although he couldn't help being nervous.

Ever since Kendall's seizure in the hospital, he noticed how different Logan acted around him. It was as if the smaller boy was constantly in fear of Kendall having another seizure in front of him. Kendall knew that probably wasn't the case. He suspected that Logan felt about everything going on with his friends. Knowing Logan, he probably found ways to blame himself for even the most unrelated things; like Carlos' sickness.

"Do you think everything's gonna be the same again?" Carlos asked after a moment of silence.

Kendall raised an eyebrow and looked down at the Latino in confusion. "What do you mean, Carlos?" he replied.

Carlos sighed. "It's just that...Logie's always sad because he thinks he'll never get his voice back. _Will _he get his voice back? If he doesn't, what will happen to Big Time Rush? Logie would feel horrible if Big Time Rush ends. Then there's James. He's always tired and stressed out. He barely takes care of himself anymore. And you..." Carlos finally trailed off after his long ramble.

"What?" Kendall asked.

"What?" Carlos asked back.

"What _about _me?" Kendall asked, demanding an answer from Carlos.

"You and Logie...I can tell that you still blame yourself for everything," Carlos confessed. "And after you...swallowed those pills, Logie was always hard on himself. And when you had that seizure in front of him...he...I don't know. James said that Logie broke down. And you feel bad because you scared Logie like that. It's like a never ending cycle!"

Kendall froze at the sight of Carlos' eyes watering up. There was silence in the living room. "C-Carlos," Kendall spoke up, realizing how big a toll this had on Carlos. "I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"It's okay," Carlos said, cutting Kendall off from whatever he had to say.

"Carlos, I-"

"I said it's okay," Carlos repeated. "I get it, Kendall. You think you're Superman, or something. That you can protect us from everything and when you felt that you've failed, you feel horrible. I get it."

Kendall sighed. "I'd do anything to protect you guys," he said, running his fingers through his hair.

"You say you would, but you haven't," Carlos stated.

Kendall once again looked down at him in confusion. "What?"

"You wanna protect us from everything, but you continue to hurt yourself," Carlos said.

"Carlos, those pills were a one time thing," Kendall reminded him.

"Yeah, physically," Carlos countered. "But you're still hurting yourself mentally. And when you suffer like that, we suffer. Don't you see that?"

* * *

Camille was holding the handles of the wheelchair. Logan was still weak and dizzy, and not being on his feet so much in a while had greatly affected him.

For one thing, he needed help getting dressed. It had to be one of the most embarrassing moments of Logan's life. It's not like he had completely forgotten how to get dressed. It was just hard for him to balance and he was quite dizzy. He couldn't stay standing long enough for him to put his pants on. James had to be the one to help hold him up.

James noticed how much weight Logan had lost after being stuck in this hospital. James made a note in his head to make sure to talk to Mama Knight about helping him stuff Logan with delicious food so Logan could gain some weight back.

Camille was holding the wheelchair in front of the small bathroom in Logan's hospital room. She didn't want Logan to travel very far. She knew it was a short distance from the bed to the bathroom, but she could only imagine how much more work Logan would have to do to travel that distance.

The bathroom door opened. James walked out with his arm around Logan's waist, steadying the smaller boy. He eased Logan onto the chair and smiled.

Once Logan sat in the chair, he straightened out his dark blue jeans and adjusted his white cardigan sweater. He was also wearing the bracelet Katie had bought for him, excited to know that he and his friends all had matching bracelets.

"Ready to go, mister?" Camille asked with a smile on her face.

Logan turned his head a little bit and nodded desperately.

"Here ya go, buddy," James said, handing him the stuffed dog Carlos had bought for him. "I packed it in the duffel bag, but figured that you'd like to have it during the car ride."

Logan looked down at the dog before looking to James. He smiled in appreciation.

"Okay, let's get you home," James said with a smile. Camille led the way out the door, gently pushing Logan's wheelchair.

Just like Logan, James and Camille wanted to leave the hospital as much as Logan did. They all wanted to leave and never look back.

Logan shielded his eyes as the sun shone brightly. Being stuck in a hospital room had prevented Logan from enjoying natural lights, instead of artificial, flickering lights.

Logan smiled. There were a lot of things he wanted to do when he got back to the apartment, but a new idea sprang to his mind.

He reached over and gently pulled James' arm, wanting to get the taller boy's attention.

James looked down at him. "Something wrong, Logie?" he asked.

Logan just looked at him, at James quickly got the idea.

"Oh!" James said when realization hit him. He reached into the duffel bag and pulled out Logan's whiteboard and a marker.

Logan gratefully accepted them and began writing. _I think I know what I wanna do today._

"What's that?" Camille asked, ready to do any activity that Logan wanted.

_Do you think that tonight, we can hang out on the roof and watch the stars?_ he asked.

James smiled. "Of course we will, buddy," he answered. "And that sounds like the perfect thing to do on you first day back."

Logan grew excited. He missed everything and was glad that he could slowly start getting back into the real world now.

They had reached Camille's sedan.

"Hey, Camille. Why don't I drive and you can stay in the back with Logan?" James suggested as he helped Logan into the backseat.

Camille didn't hesitate in agreeing and joined Logan.

Though the drive to the pharmacy was short, Logan was beginning to fall asleep in the car. Logan had his head resting on Camille's shoulder as the actress ran her fingers through Logan's hair. That, plus the feel of James' smooth driving relaxed Logan, especially since the last time he was in a car, Logan's life had basically shattered.

James parked the car at the pharmacy. He turned around to face Camille and Logan, smiling when he saw Logan fighting sleep.

"I'm gonna pick up his medicines really quick," he announced to Camille, earning a nod from her.

James exited, and the two were left together alone.

"I'm really glad you're coming back home, Logan," Camille began, speaking in a soft voice. "Everyone's been acting so different since your accident. I think your return will help a lotta people. I'm sure everyone's really excited and can't wait to see your face."

Logan knew that Camille were talking about his best friends.

He couldn't help but hope that everything would go back to normal as well.

Camille kissed the top of his head, noticing how much longer Logan's hair had become during his hospital stay. "You need a haircut," she said with a smile.

_I don't know,_ Logan wrote back. _"I'm kinda liking this look._

He smiled when he raised his head from off of Camille's shoulder, only to be met by the glaring eyes of said girl.

She sighed. "You better be happy you're cute," she said as she pulled Logan's head back down onto her shoulder.

Logan nodded against her shoulder. _I'm very happy,_ he wrote down.

Camille and Logan sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments until James got back into the car, carrying a paper bag.

"Sorry it took me so long," James breathed out, as he promptly started the car. "I had to also pick up some things for Carlos and when I finally got in line to pay for my stuff, the old guy in front of me _insisted _that the pharmacy had cheated him out of ten Oxycontin pills. The pharmacist had to count his pills twice." He sighed.

Camille smiled. "It's okay, James," she reassured. "You really weren't one for too long."

Logan nodded in agreement.

"Oh," James said. "I got something for Logan too. I bought him some tea. It's special and good for the throat. He has to drink once a day."

"Well as soon as we get him home," Camille said. "I'll make him some. You boys have honey at the apartment, right?"

"Of course we do," James answered. They couldn't go without that stuff. Carlos loved it too much.

"Perfect," Camille said, glad that she was already finding more opportunities to help Logan.

* * *

"Welcome home, honey," Jennifer said to Logan as he, James, and Camille walked in. She gave him a large hug and led him to the couch, where Kendall, Carlos, and Katie were eagerly awaiting him.

Logan looked around the apartment. It was great to be home. He missed this place so much, but it almost seemed unfamiliar to him. He had grown so used to the bland, hospital scene that coming home to a place full of comfort and color seemed new.

Katie hugged Logan first. Logan held her tiny body tight.

"I'm so happy you're back," Katie whispered.

"I missed you," Logan wanted to reply to her. But he couldn't, so he held her closer.

Carlos grew impatient and wrapped his arms around the two. Logan smiled, accepting Carlos' childish hug.

Finally, the three of them separated. Logan looked to Kendall, who stared back at him. The two of them were frozen, staring into each others tired and nervous eyes. The entire apartment was silent, with everybody else in the apartment wondering why the two of them were hesitating.

Kendall was the first to make a move. He closed the gap between him and Logan. He pulled Logan to him, holding him with all his might. Logan quickly mimicked the action, smiling as a stray tear fell from his eye.

"Welcome home, buddy," Kendall whispered in Logan's ear.

* * *

**Hoped you liked this one! Review please?**


End file.
